Skin

How I wish…

…that time is on my side

looking in the mirror or just old photographs 

How I wish…

…that I will stay the same

despite the illness and all the passing years…

I finger the lines that have appear suddenly, almost overnight on both sides of my mouth. Now I really look like my mother. And my eyes… my eyes lost its luster. They seem tired, disappearing in the folds of my skin. I have nothing to complain, I have heard it so many times. I look better than most people my age. Maybe true but it is me I have to convince.

My skin… has always been fair and smooth, still is. The color of coffee with a lot of milk with pink undertone instead of yellow. I have perpetual blushes on both cheeks. Unusual for my race.

My race… sometimes I wish to be white. Just to experience how it is to belong in something superior. Sometimes I am tired of being treated as a second class citizen. No matter how intelligent, hard working, creative, etc. I might be, I cannot be one of them. I cannot change the color of my skin…

It is who I am. There is nobody I rather be.

I mean it but for you it’s just another cliché

My color I am proud of at least most of the time

Except when treated badly just because__ 

I’m Asian.

Photography by Nigel Tomm 

37 thoughts on “Skin”

    1. What you said reminds me of this:

      Written by an African child and nominated by The United Nations
      as the Best Poem of 2006.

      And you calling me colored??

      When I born, I black.
      When I grow up, I black.
      When I go in sun, I black.
      When I scared, I black.
      When I sick, I black.
      And when I die, I still black.

      And you white people.
      When you born, you pink.
      When you grow up, you white.
      When you go in sun, you red.
      When you cold, you blue.
      When you scared, you yellow.
      When you sick, you green
      And when you die, you grey…

      And you calling me colored??

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Strangely being white is not really all that it is cracked up to be. Especially these days.
    How would you feel if your race was responsible for the bombing and maiming of innocent lives. Maybe some ignore that? I don’t know?
    Especially these days.
    Being white does not stop old age. Grey hair, or wrinkles. Some age quicker than others. Bald fat old white men. Is that what you admire? Or wish to be for a day?
    Especially these days.
    Being old means you are ignored. People see, to rush by, thinking you are nothing. That does not change. So perhaps it’s not an Asian thing but an age thing?
    I despise all them who have forgotten to love each other and they are so caught up in their ego. That they forget to realize they will soon be forgotten dust too.
    Especially these days.

    Be here now. There is no future, there is no past. Just now.

    Maraming Salamat Jamie.

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    1. Now I feel better 🙂
      Seriously, racism has nothing to do with age. I’ve been experiencing it since I set foot in this foreign country. But then again so is being poor. In my country when your poor you don’t count. Funny because most of the population is poor. I agree with you though about old age. That’s why if I see old people I think: That’s my future. So, I usually go out of my way to wave, say hello, or talk to them even they don’t always reciprocate my enthusiasm. I don’t want to be ignored when I reach that age. On lighter note, when I was younger, I sometimes imagine shaking my blond hair in the wind.

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    1. Beauty is only skin deep see beyond the the package don’t judge the book by its cover clichés which is easier said than done especially in our current society where looks is more valued than talent. No wonder that Gab Valenciano rants that way on his instagram. Bottom line: like you said: We’re proud of who we are. I just wish that others see it that way too and treat us accordingly_all equals.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes. I have read Gab Valenciano and it is indeed a sad reality. It is important to note though that most of the Filipino ‘flawless’ artists are not natural-beauty. You know what I mean.

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      2. Yeah. Like I said to my children, if they want to try that life, their best chance is in the Philippines. But of course I’m only joking. On the other hand, like you said, those flawless are either (most) mix bloods or Dra. Belo clients.

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  2. Hmm! Very deep sinking but sad thoughts. We are first humans before the colour of our skin and superiority is man-made not God made. I have learnt to love who I am and I wouldn’t trade me for a second of being in someone’s skin. I have no idea what they have underneath!

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  3. This poem of yours speaks so much to me and I believe to a lot more people if they read this. Such a strong message and an important one too. Learning to love one’s skin and race especially when we live in our society when we look at our television screens and do not see ourselves is so difficult but once we realise that our differences makes us beautiful and unique it is such a great feeling. Thanks for the poem 🙂

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  4. I don’t feel superior. I live a life with few luxuries, with a used computer. I live a simple life. Our skins we are born with, they are both beautiful.

    I look forward to reading more. I’m glad we took this course again

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  5. Good work, even though I’m white I have sometimes wanted to be a different colour when living abroad so I could be treated as part of the local culture. It can definitely be the same with rich and poor.

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  6. I finally got classes this past year that had a real sense of diversity in ethnicity, age, and background. People of differing colors. It’s what I’ve always wanted as a teacher. But, wouldn’t you know, I had to bring down racial tensions when they flared up in class. Maybe that’s the price of diversity. If so, I’ll keep wanting and enjoying the varied folk I get. I find persons whose color is not mine to be much more interesting, if for no other reason than I already know how it is to be my color. So what’s interesting about that? As far as worth and value go, I must love you as I love me. I must love me as I love you. Thank you for your heart- and head-breaking words.

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      1. Truly, I have never received a finer compliment. I guess it starts with respect. If we can only get that far with each other. Thank you!

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  7. If you stood side by side with another race and your skin was wiped away you couldn’t be told apart. Stand tall and don’t let anyone intimidate you for any reason.
    Thanks for visiting my blog. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

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