“I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls
with clean blood
and organized drawers.
I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests
at night when no one else is alive
however, you choose to see it
and I live in my own flames
sometimes burning too bright and too wild
to make things last
myself or anyone else
and so I run.
run run run
far and wide
until my bones ache and lungs split
and it feels good.
Hear that, people? It feels good
because I am the slave and ruler of my own body
and I wish to do with it exactly as I please”
― Charlotte Eriksson
Where have the years gone? Sometimes I have to stop and think about how old I am. When I wake up in the morning, before I move this tired old body or look in the blasted mirror, I swear I’m still a young woman. It just feels like yesterday. I don’t know how it’s gone so fast.
-Lea Davey, Silkworm Secrets
Amidst tons of laundry, some unpacking still to do, shopping for food and immense work in the garden, I managed to squeeze a couple of minutes to write this post to let you know I made it back in one piece. In between times, I learned that WordPress has canceled the existence of The Daily Post (there goes photo challenge and of course the Daily Prompts) what a pity. I will sure miss it and I am sure you will too. I will be back writing the usuals in a couple of days but for the meantime, I have some tidying up to do. Glad to see you again guys. Thank you for keeping my space alive during my absence, I enjoyed my time away but__ as always
It’s good to be back. 🙂
Maybe it doesn’t need to be anxiety. Or paranoia. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a result of a difficult childhood or bullied adolescence. Perhaps, it isn’t necessary to meet up with the requirements listed in a fancy Wikipedia article about heavy mental disorders for it to hurt. Each seemingly vague collision with this world’s cruelty can leave you gasping for air, clinging at the stitches. Each lover that abandoned us, each friend who turned their back in a crucial moment … it piles up. Waiting for the timer to count down the seconds. And when it hits, the bones in your body will be screaming to surface, burning in an infinite parallel universe. Immeasurable will be the crushing weight of the piling thoughts, echoing in that sad head of yours. But do not ever, under any condition, permit somebody to restrain your right to feel pain, only because they have suffered far more severe injury. Do not let anybody count your scars and tell you to “get over it”, after comparing their number to yours. It is not a contest. It is not a race on who can get fucked up beyond repair first. Respect others’ misfortunes and approach them in a kind manner. But expect the same in return and do not settle for any less.
If it is human to ache, it should be human to sympathize. Why have we let the course of our civilization reach this point? Why did we permit such constant comparisons? Not only do we now compete for having the best body or hottest outfit, but for who exhausted their hearts first, who gave up the fastest and who can romanticize depression to the fullest. We crossed the boundaries long ago and eloped in a twisted, sick environment. In a place, where scorning is ranked higher than lending a helping hand. Where sorrow is excessively inflicted. So forget them. Turn your back to each hurled remark. Never give a care about how they criticize the way you choose to cope. It depends on you and you alone. Be that hero you dreamed about last night or that inspiring person you overheard in the subway. That’s all it really is, life, I mean – learning how to cope and move on.
#ReaderSubmission by Kiki
Skew – make biased or distorted in a way that is regarded as inaccurate, unfair, or misleading.
Because of who I am and my unconventional habits (in a world where men are allowed to do whatever they want and be admired and praised for their shenanigans and double standard is regarded as the norm) I’ve been accused and labeled everything I am not. My reputation quickly went down the drain and never come back. Misunderstood will be a huge part of my epitaph when the time comes. Does it bother me? It never used to. But looking back, given a chance, probably I would do a thing or two differently, for my peace of mind. But I will never alter what had happened because I don’t want to miss out on all the fun, just adjust some things a little bit, give it a different approach without losing myself completely in the process. But yeah, what’s done is done all water under the bridge now. If only people have no long memory and limited cranial capacity when it comes to understanding others due to the fact that most will feel good if they think they are better than another even if it’s only in their own twisted imagination. Stood tall and stood proud standing on someone else’s back. What else is new? Anyway, I have lived a colorful life that’s for sure and with it comes like it or not colorful descriptions and tales (which is laughable at times) even if they are not exactly accurate they are certainly graphic. Sayonara for now and see you when I see you.
Oh, that’s me.
But then again not. I’m not really a rebel, I just don’t follow the herd. I rather march to the beat of my own drum. The sound is sweeter.
No, seriously I am who I am and that’s it.
Some might say I’m an individualist, stubborn, solitary, hard-headed, idealist, pessimist. The truth is I’m a freedom loving honest realist, crusading for the truth, equality, and justice who likes to see a more peaceful harmonious world populated with tolerant people who have respect for nature and each other. That’s all.
At least not always and depends on the situation and the manner of showing your assets. It’s okay to be confident, it’s okay to be proud of what you have but it’s not okay to be vulgar, not in my dictionary.
Flaunt means to show something that you are proud of to other people, in order to impress them and in my book, anything you do to impress people ( unless you are soliciting for a job or aiming for something similar) is the same as caressing your own ego, to seek validation, confirmation. And if you need others to verify and affirm your own self-worth, what you are then? It’s the same as only insecure people have an urge to belittle others to feel good about themselves. Only those who have serious self-esteem issues feel the need to stand on someone else’s back to look tall.
I’m all for self-expression and keeping your own personality and originality but do it because it’s you and nothing else. Don’t be different for the sake of being different. Don’t be out there to be noticed, to stand out and feel special, to attract attention and be admired. Don’t flaunt you think what you’ve got for all the wrong reasons. If you’re authentic, sooner or/than later people will notice believe me. It’s hard to hide one’s own true nature. Like the truth, it will come out eventually.
Just be yourself and if it means being a rainbow amidst all the greys then so be it.
I realize that I live in the bubble of insanity. I feel the weight of human suffering, loneliness, and despair on me all the time. It’s not getting easier; if anything, it’s always right on the edge of my skin.
At first, I probably seem very abrupt, but I like efficiency. There’s work and there’s play, and I always think: ‘Let’s get the work over with so we can thoroughly enjoy the play.’
I’m very low-maintenance, and that is a problem. I’m not demanding at all, and sometimes I feel that I should be throwing tantrums.