“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” Bell Hooks
I like this quote. Reminds me of the term “other half” which I hate. As if you cannot be complete without someone by your side. I always believe that before you can be any use to anyone, you have to be whole on your own first, or otherwise, what can you give? The remaining half of yourself? No wonder so many is broken after a relationship has ended. There is nothing left of them to rebuild. What they usually do is look for somebody to complete them. How many times I heard the phrase: I’m not complete without this person. That’s why they call it “other half.” In flemish it is worse. They call their spouses “die van ons” which literally translate “ours.” Ours what? It sounds so negative. As if you are sharing your partner with the whole neighborhood. If I understand it correctly, being single these days is almost a curse. At least that’s what they say in SocMed. Contemporaries see it as a failure. As if, if you are single, you are a pariah, nobody wants you, you are not good enough and not desirable enough to be off the street. Can it not be that single people are singles because they are happy on their own? Happy to be free to make their own choices and decisions? If nothing else, I find it an accomplishment. It means that they are strong brave individuals who are capable of dealing with and facing the world unaided.
How I wish!
What Mary hale said?
Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.
A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.