This Is Not A Confession

There was this gorgeous natural pool between two mountains with cute, small waterfalls descending from one side and a river with a reasonable fast current down on the other side with a picturesque bamboo bridge across.

I like the place because it was kind of private, peaceful and the fauna and flora were simply breath-taking. I was stripped down from the waist up and ready to hit the water when I saw her.

She didn’t see me at first; she was deep in thoughts concentrating on negotiating the narrow, steep path leading down to the pool. She was wearing a blue bikini with a green and yellow flower pattern with a matching pareo tied around her hips. She was so beautiful! The sight of her almost took my breath away.

When she was almost at the bottom of the steps, she saw me. A strange mixture of surprise and fear (?) registered on her face. But that was only for a fraction of a second, she quickly pivoted on her heels and run!

But I was quick. I only wanted to stop her and talk, thinking this is maybe my only chance to catch her alone, I simply could not let her go away.

 I caught up with her easily. This is my terrain, my playground; I know the place better than anyone, I grew up here, negotiating treacherous surfaces is second nature to me. She, on the other hand, is a city girl. Too bad for her.

When I reached her something I never planned happened. What I did was___ grabbed her, turned her towards me, pulled her closer, and kissed her passionately. It happened so fast she didn’t get the chance to react. Why she must taste so sweet and so soft to hold I right away lost control of myself?

I pulled her even closer against me, she let a moan, she said: “Oh, Michael.” And went limp in my arms.  My knees buckled, my legs turned to Jell-O, my mind went blank, and suddenly the world had stopped from turning. I heard thunder and lightning everywhere and I was stiff as a pole.

When I carried and laid her on the grass, she did not resist. It was starting to get dark. When I lay next to her; she closed her eyes and bit her lips. We kissed hungrily for a while, touching, exploring. I was only beginning to discover where everything is. I never realized that a kiss could taste like heaven I didn’t want to stop.

The moment I removed her bikini top, she gave me a look I had never seen before anywhere or from anyone in my life. Not even on her. All I know was what the look did to my blood ‒ boil!

When I pulled the rest of the bikini all the way down, she clung to me passionately, we’re like two people drowning; very fast and there was no tomorrow. When I entered her, I thought I was going to pass out from ecstasy. It was good. No, better than good, better than anything I have ever experience so far, it was worth dying twice over.

When I murmured in her ear that I have no idea it would be like this, she said: “You don’t see nothing yet.” And she showed me. Not one, not twice, but six times over!

We laid side by side afterward looking at the moon.

Then she said: “Now, what?”

Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.

Gifted people are sometimes called Zebras (a term proposed by French psychologist Jeanne Siaud Fachin). This is in part because zebras are non-domesticable by humans — they are too free-spirited and unpredictable to be tamed and controlled. It sounds like many gifted people we know!

Zebras also stand out from other species because of their loud black and white stripes, much as gifted people stand from the crowd out whether they want to or not. The interesting thing about zebras’ stripes is that they each have a unique stripe pattern – as fingerprints are unique to each human. This brings to mind the popular saying, “If you’ve met one gifted person, you’ve met *one* gifted person” — we are not a homogenous group!

Stripes serve zebras to protect themselves, by blending in with each other when predators are around, as predators cannot make out individuals when all they see is a group of stripes. Siaud Fachin said that gifted people tend to blend into the “herd” when they feel threatened too, which in one way is healthy; however, this can go wrong when a gifted person feels *constantly* threatened and is unable to feel safe enough to find their unique pattern, voice, and expression. Unfortunately, that’s not an uncommon experience for many gifted people.

Zebras are highly sensitive and perceptive animals, with excellent eyesight and night vision, excellent hearing with ears that turn in almost every direction, and acute senses of smell and taste. They have very high stamina, are fast, powerful, and resourceful. Every gifted person knows what it’s like to have an exceptional perception, speed, stamina, and resourcefulness in one area or another (or in many all at once).

Today we’re featuring zebras, as it is Endangered Species Day. This is an important time for us to remember that our lives, and even our metaphors and self-concepts, are intertwined with other species. We can understand ourselves better in a context of rich biodiversity around us, and it is up to us to protect that biodiversity (and rich intellectual diversity across species). And just as human “zebras” deserve a dignified life, so do our animal counterparts – many of whom are threatened with extinction due to our high consumption lifestyles and political and economic choices and ideologies. Among zebras, the Cape Mountain Zebra and the Grévy Zebra are both at risk of extinction. It’s estimated that 50% of the earth’s species are currently at risk of extinction due to human action.

It’s equally important that we extend this dignity and responsibility to our fellow human populations which are endangered — namely many indigenous groups. Indigenous people and their cultures bring rich sources of knowledge and connectedness and contribute so much to the beautiful intellectual diversity of our interconnected whole.

Let’s do all we can to protect the animals, our fellow humans, and all other endangered beings on this planet.

(Source: InterGifted via Facebook)

Sinbad Of The Seven Seas

Let those who wish have their respectability- I wanted freedom, freedom to indulge in whatever caprice struck my fancy, freedom to search in the farthermost corners of the earth for the beautiful, the joyous, and the romantic.

Today’s Mantra

Give yourself a break. You’re not perfect. No one is. You don’t have to be at the top of your game every day. No one is happy all the time. No one loves themselves always. No one lives without pain. Be willing to embrace your imperfections and excuse your bad days. Don’t set such high standards for yourself emotionally and mentally. It’s normal to feel sadness and pain and to hit some low points in life. Allow yourself to embrace these emotions without judging yourself for them.  ~Vishnu

Deep End

Fishes in deep water

(Being in their element)

For the life of them

Cannot comprehend

Our fear of drowning

~ Out of Africa

Bottled Up

I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. ~ William Blake

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repressed

pent-up

stifled

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bitter

begrudging

resentful

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envy

jealousy

spite

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scheme

action

danger

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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ― Mark Twain

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Borrowed Feelings

The last time I felt alive – I was looking into your eyes.
Breathing your air…. touching your skin…
… Saying goodbye…
The last time I felt alive… I was dying.

He was both everything I could ever want…
And nothing I could ever have…

Every quote, every book, every film seemed to suggest that ‘one day’ someone would come into my life and love me with an intensity and a passion I had never experienced before. And to their credit they were right; It all came and went so fast it really did feel as if it were just ‘one day’…

If you’re searching for a quote that puts your feelings into words – you won’t find it.
You can learn every language and read every word ever written – but you’ll never find what’s in your heart.
How can you?
He has it.

You can miss places. You can miss people.
Just know that what you’re really missing is the way things were. And even if you could go there again…. see them again…. you can’t go back.
They’re not the same.
You’re not the same.
The loss of them changed you.

I try to do something positive – I socialize more…
But deep down I know the truth.
An entire world of people can never replace the one that I’ve lost.

It’s the intricate details you miss the most.
For me, it’s the soft lines around the eyes when he smiles… Or that look he gave me sometimes that I cannot begin to describe – but I would know it if I saw it again.
It was the look that gave him away.
I’d know that look anywhere…
It used to be my everything.

You’re everything to me.
But at best, I’m just a memory to you.

It hurts that I was just one page in the book of your life…
But what hurts more is knowing you’ll revise that chapter someday…
….. and you’ll erase me completely.

I still think of you every day.
But I’m trying not to let it hurt me with the same intensity that it used to.

And as painful as that is, it still kind of warms me to know I will always carry a part of you with me.

Though life has fated that we never cross paths again, don’t ever feel alone. For we are parallel …. and I will always be by your side.

Everybody wants their own little place in the world. And maybe mine is here… Loving you from a distance…

(Quotes by Renata Suzuki)

Friends With Benefits

I don’t know how long we stay that way, but we watch the sun go down together. The giant, burnt-orange sphere sinks towards the horizon, coloring the rock layers until it’s gone and the canyon is covered in shadow. ― Jennifer Salvato

I once had a best friend I could talk to for hours. We could philosophize endlessly, oblivious to the passing of time. I remember one afternoon I knocked on his door lay next to him in bed and we started talking. We didn’t realize it was night already. Only when his brother snapped the light on and asked what on earth we were doing in the dark did we noticed that indeed it was already that late. We look into each other’s eyes and giggled. Nobody understands.

And that one time we were drinking on the terrace whole night, sitting on the balustrade, feet dangling in space ignoring the danger, just concentrating on the two of us, the outside world locked out. Suddenly, we saw a flame behind the mountains and we thought: fire! There was a fire out there. But of course, it wasn’t fire. It was the sun rising up. Night owls as we were, we rarely saw the dawn for we used to sleep the whole day and only come up when the sun goes down already. Vampires, they called us. Since then we decided to go dawn watching on the top of the mountains. That was magical moments. I miss it sometimes.

Missing Title

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom. ― Edgar Allan Poe

Do you remember I’ve told you I have never been addicted to anything? Well, that’s true. But there were times that I indulged. Against my better judgment that is.

But those are nothing but temporary diversions and never last long enough to do real damage. When it comes to the monetary aspect of my so-called cravings I have but one rule: never spend more than you can afford. That means your spending should not cost more than what’s in your bank account. That when worse comes to worst, you can pay what you owe without going bankrupt. Or even better: Never put yourself in credit.

I know all addictions have underlying reasons somewhere. I still have to find out what mine is. If there is any. Because if you ask me I would say there are none. I just like pretty things. Especially the ones that apart, unique and creative.

There were times that I overindulged in alcohol and passed out a couple of times. One of those episodes I ended up in a hospital with an infected wound. Apparently, in my dazed state, I stepped on a broken rusted tin can. How’s that for hilarious. Other times I tumbled down from the stairs and showered with my clothes on and went to sleep soaking wet.

I also did some things I would not do when sober. Like kissing a fourteen -year old kid and an engineer suitor I despised or lying down in the mud because I thought it was inviting and so soft.

But those were a long time ago and belonged to my wilder years of subconsciously looking for my rainbow connection. Who doesn’t have those episodes anyway? Everyone I guess has one moment in their existence when they are wild and carefree.

The bottom line is, even though I overindulged sometimes, I always wake up right on time before my doings could pose a real threat.

Eternal Delight

When the greenwood laughs with the voice of joy,
And the dimpling stream runs laughing by;
When the air does laugh with our merry wit,
And the green hill laughs with the noise of it.

-William Blake 1794

Saying Goodbye

Why the things that hurt the most are the ones that are also liberating

It is painful but at the same time lighter

As if there is this massive weight that has been taken off your shoulder

Suddenly you feel light, happier, inspired, more positive and at the same time

Hurting like hell.

You feel like laughing and crying at the same time

Because though it pierces your heart you also realized that

You know where you stand and at last, you are finally free!

Time Traveler

Just because I’ve made it all up doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Remember this, this, this and this? Among so many others that belonged to this category? Check it out and we will discuss it when you come back.

Done?

Okay.

My son once told me that I imagined the whole thing. When I asked him why it seems so real he said because to me it is. Granted. Maybe I hallucinated the ones that involved solely me. But what about those times when there were other people present, they have imagined the whole episode with me as well? How you call that? Collective insanity? Folie à deux? Herd mentality? Mass delusion? Tell me.

Do you believe in magic?  I don’t.

Not even after those experiences which have no logical explanations. But I strongly believe in a parallel universe(s) and other dimensions and I also believe that there are people who are able to navigate in both. I don’t know if I will consider that ability a gift or a curse. Personally, I don’t mind the idea as long as the traveling stays more or less cozy and doable but not when things turn into some kind of nightmares and you end up running for your life.

What about you?

What do you believe in?

There Was A Boy There Was A Girl

Dusk is just an illusion because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. And that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are there cannot be one without the other yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel I remember wondering to be always together yet forever apart? ― Nicholas Sparks

The above quote reminds me of the film Ladyhawke with Rutger Hauer and Michelle Pfeiffer starring Matthew Broderick. But most of all, it makes me think of a song my mother used to sing when I was little. I told D. about it and for some unknown reason, it seems to traumatized him. I don’t understand why. It is just a song. Here are the lyrics.

There was a girl, there was a boy
If they had met they might have found a world of joy
But he lived on the morning side of the mountain
And she lived on the twilight side of the hill

They never met, they never kissed
They will never know what happiness they’ve missed
‘Cause he lived on the morning side of the mountain
And she lived on the twilight side of the hill

For love’s a rose that never grows
Without the kiss of the morning dew
And every Jack must have a Jill

To know the thrill of a dream that comes true
And you and I are just like they
For all we know our love is just a kiss away
But you are on the…