I grew up with meager everything. We didn’t even own a house. We didn’t have a television set and there were no neighbours to go to to have some interaction. The only two gadgets my father had were both essentials to our living; a transistor radio to track the ever-changing weather and a flashlight he used to patrol the fishpond in the night.
We didn’t own a table and chairs aside from what my father fashioned himself from bits and pieces of wood he could find lying around. Beds, closets, cabinets, sofas were unknown to us. We had plastic plates and cups, few cutleries, a couple of pots and one pan. Nothing we could not bundle and take in a moment notice which usually the case.
Our pillows were made by my mother from cotton-like fluff obtained from Kapok tree seed pods we gathered wherever we could find them. We, siblings, shared two blankets between the six of us and slept under one mosquito net. No wonder I have insomnia.
I saw and held a telephone for the first time when I was fifteen. I finally owned a wristwatch when I was 17 (almost eighteen) and by that time, I was already married to my ex and could afford a little bit more than before. That was when the bad dreams turned into full-blown nightmares…
“I take it as a compliment when somebody calls me crazy. I would be offended if I was one of the sheeple, one of the sleepwalkers in the matrix or part of the collective hallucination we call ‘normal.”
Weekly Photo Challenge: Ascend
The problem with theories as with just about every discipline or industry in the world is putting them into practice.
Elegance is usually confused with superficiality, fashion, lack of depth. This is a serious mistake: human beings need to have elegance in their actions and in their posture because this word is synonymous with good taste, amiability, equilibrium and harmony.
Elegance is achieved when all that is superfluous has been discarded and the human being discovers simplicity and concentration: the simpler and more sober the posture, the more beautiful it will be.
It’s that time of the year again.
Since I lost my faith in organized religion and God himself, I have troubles celebrating anything that has something to do with it. I used to be religious. Not fanatic, but religious. I’ve been brought up surrounded by blind faith and superstitious beliefs. We dutifully recited the Holy Rosary each evening at six o’clock. I’d been tied up around the foot of a table whole night without supper for failing to memorize the Our Father prayer. I attended masses and offered flowers to deities. I had my first communion and confirmation. I’ve been baptized and heck, even married in the church, twice.
For all that happened to me, I never blame anyone let alone God. I accepted everything without question. I thought my faith was the only thing that was constant in my life and my unshakable belief in the power of the Holy Almighty was something no one can take away from me. I imagined myself being imprisoned and having to choose between death or live by renouncing my faith and I was sure I will rather opt for the first anytime anywhere, till two years ago. Something happened that made me abandoned everything I was taught and live by all those years. There is no way back.
Now, we are this far again. The season to be merry, the time to be jolly and I am neither of those. But even if I didn’t lose my belief in God, I doubt if I am going to join the hysteria of masses during this period. I wrote about the reasons why a few seasons ago and if you have the time, you can read it here, here and here.
What about you? Are you religiously celebrating the most celebrated time of the year? Do you still believe in God? How you hold on to your faith when everywhere you look you see the opposite of what you believe in? No, I’m not criticizing. Just showing interest. If you wish to share your thoughts I would love to hear them.
“No varnish can hide the grain of the wood; and that the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself.” ― Charles Dickens,
Or you can also say: put lipstick on a pig, put rouge on the corpse, making a purse out of a swine’s ear, putting a racing stripe on a … am I allowed to say it here? Probably not. Better leave it at that.
I think basically what Dickens wanted to say is: you can’t hide someone’s true nature. And I believe him. One’s genetic makeup is very hard to alter. Sure, surroundings, upbringing, experience and all those things could have an effect on someone’s innate nature but only on the surface, it cannot change what lies beneath. One’s inner essential nature will always come through sooner or later.
I’m not saying someone can be born a saint or evil and who can say what makes those people act a certain way. A basically good person can commit a grave offense out of desperation, necessity, passion, anger or whatever valid for that moment reason she or he might have but it doesn’t make them a bad human being automatically. You can almost see the genetic makeup of a person by his actions, the nature of their crimes, and how they react to a certain situation. Unplanned circumstances always provoke spontaneous reactions. And that’s when you can see how people truly are, by the way they handle crisis and surprises.
I remember breaking up with someone after accidentally observing his behavior towards others. It was a simple occurrence. We were aboard a public vehicle and the driver stopped to let an elderly passenger in. The person had a difficulty ascending the steps and my then boyfriend was sitting by the door. He could have easily extended his hand and help but he never did nor offered his seat to that person who was clearly having troubles to remain standing during that treacherous ride because of his advanced age. In the end, I gave up my place so the person could sit.
What happened was a revelation to me. My boyfriend was a gentleman. Caring, solicitous, respectful and sweet. To me he was. But to others, he could not care less. And that is something I cannot possibly accept. God knows what he gonna do later in the relationship when the cloak and dagger aspect of courtship is over. I decided I’ve seen enough and dropped him just like that. I believe I made the right decision.
What about you? Do you think I made the right decision?
I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of genetic makeup in general if you care to impart your knowledge. Nothing too fancy or complicated, just your own truth and beliefs. It is always nice to hear other people’s input. I have learned so much that way.
A cheeky cat and a cheeky bird 🙂
The cat, I encountered during one of my walks. The bird, outside my kitchen door. Both are wearing an expression akin to Robert de Niro’s in Taxi Driver. You know… “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to? You talkin’ to me? Well, I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” That one.
Now, at this very moment, I will trade everything to be able to swim in a natural spring water again. It was such a long time ago that I have experienced that kind of feeling, free, uninhibited and clean. A privilege that most of my countrymen are taking for granted especially those that are on the lower rung of the status ladder and living close to these kinds of natural environments not knowing my dream (and probably other people like me) is situated on their backyards…
Most people (I think) are on tenterhooks about the future. Unless of course, you are one of the lucky few whose future is secure. But then again who knows what tomorrow might bring… no one knows what’s around the corner. The only thing secure in this life is the fact that we all gonna die sooner or later, the rest is a big question mark. Anything could happen. Some say the future is in your hands, you can shape it and make it happen. I beg to disagree. We could try and hope for the best but that’s all we can do. No one can predict the future. Sure we can guess the possible outcome of some things based on the proof that lies before our eyes today but even that is not one hundred percent sure. I’ve seen enough twist of fate to warrant my claim but as always I could be wrong. You know, in every rule…
The best thing to do (they say) is not to worry about the future and enjoy today because today is a gift that’s why it’s called a present. Add to it all the motivational quotes you can find about the future and you will get my drift, but__ there is always a but__ worry (about the future) we can’t help but do. People tend to worry about the unknown. They seldom pay attention to the present (those motivational quotes again) maybe because the present is a done thing, you cannot do much about what already is so, why not worry about what comes next?
Not worrying about the future is one of those things that is easier said than done. Believe me, when I’m worried about the possible future, I didn’t even know I was doing just that. I thought I was just contemplating, deep in thoughts (maybe I was too) till I caught myself worrying then I knew I was doing it again. Seem to me being anxious about the future is a natural, most normal thing to do. No one likes bad surprises. And being caught in the rain without an umbrella is seldom good. Forget about learning to dance in the rain and all that jazz. Better safe than sorry they say. And though we know worrying about tomorrow is (probably) a waste of time, like I said, we do it anyway. And no amount of motivational quotes is going to stop us from doing that.
What to do then? Why not try to enjoy the ride while bracing ourselves for what’s around the bend. Fair enough?
Does age matters?
Yes, it certainly does.
No matter what others might say or want you to believe.
It matters in all sorts of ways.
I married someone eleven years my junior and my first husband was eleven years older than me. Though it doesn’t/didn’t matter to us it matters to the outside world and to the family. It matters physically in the sense of I/he was approaching middle age and starting to show and feel the telltale signs that belong to that age while he/I was barely out of his/my twenties. It matters psychologically/mentally as well. People constantly evolve and their preferences and mindset are constantly changing through the years. The differences are so apparent sometimes it can’t be ignored. It matters emotionally as well. How people react sometimes is a great deal depends on their age and the level of maturity. So is the way they handle problems and situations. Someone has to take responsibility and often times if not always, it falls to the shoulders of the one who is older and more experienced partner.
Socially it matters as well. Your circle of friends don’t belong to the same generation and it can pose quite some problems especially in the beginning. Like with my ex-husband for example, I was still in my teens while he was already in his thirties and going out wasn’t a straightforward matter. We didn’t even have the same taste in music. We ended up leading separate lives.
It matters financially too. Not only career wise but the actual earnings as well. You can’t compare a salary of someone who is barely out of school to somebody who is more experienced and already has a long work history behind him. Try to imagine this: Your spouse is already on a pension while you still have a decade or more before you can take yours, or vice versa. I think it is not easy for both dealing with this situation. I have seen problems arise between couples once they reached this stage whereas before they didn’t have any problems at all regarding age differences.
Deciding to have children when there is more than a generation gap between a couple is another matter to consider. I know someone personally who in his fifties married someone who was still in mid-thirties and had a five-year-old kid. See what I mean? No one wants to be a parent anymore at that advanced age. People might think it’s your grandchild instead. There is nothing wrong with that but going through with that stage (again) when all you want is to be peaceful and relax enjoying the fruit of your hard work instead of waking up in the middle of the night to feed a crying infant or dealing with teenager tantrums and late night escapades. No, thank you.
Age matters. It really does. Especially when the theories put suddenly to practice. And I don’t even talk about balding/thinning hair and sagging skin, gaining weight and declining libido and all that jazz.
So, next time you think/say age doesn’t matter; think again…
The truth hurts. Especially when it hits close to home like this one does. But what do you prefer, a truth that hurts or a lie that kills?
Daily Prompt: Zoo
For the man sound of body and serene of mind, there is no such thing as bad weather; every day has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously. – George Gissing