Tag Archives: thoughts

Trance

Compartmentalizing without realizing,

My feelings keep on resizing and rearranging.

Changing positions to keep my heart safe,

Changing positions to keep my pride intact,

I react to failed attempts and failed attacks

Without a hint of emotion,

As if I’m unchanged by the notion.

While the devotion grows in a safe in my mind,

It lies behind gray matter in a box of things that matter.

I placed them there so they can’t shatter.

I thought I kept them behind glass for all to see,

But really, they’re behind an opaque shape of me.

And so a feeling grows and no one knows

And I expect them to really understand who I am,

When understanding wasn’t part of my initial plan.

The plan was to play it safe,

Using safes and locks and metal boxes,

Under the pretense that they are glass.

And if anyone asks I’m always okay.

Because never okay is never okay right?

When the feelings fight to resurface I’ll build more walls,

And more blocks, adding new locks.

These fortresses protect my most sacred parts.

But now in these hours of honesty and humanity…

I’m just dying to break down the walls,

And give someone all of me…

(found poetry)

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Grainy

I feel like a fish out of water, a bird in the sea

But in the mirror is a girl who looks just like me

She goes through each day like she did before

Suddenly she just isn’t content anymore.

 

Each day is so fake, words are so hollow

She takes all this in, but it’s hard to swallow

Who is she, this girl that I see?

We look so alike, but how can this be?

 

I’m a horse in the city, a dog in a cage

A little girl in a body that’s three times my age

That’s not me in the mirror, no not at all

This girl hangs her head low, I held mine up tall.

 

How did I get so out of place

I want to look in the mirror and see my real face.

I want to hold my head high, I want to see;

There’s a girl looking back, but… she isn’t me.

 

(from a stranger I don’t recall the name)

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Carousel

That’s life, full of ups and downs twists and turns. But unlike carousel rides life has many obstacles and you never know what’s around the corner. The journey will never be the same even if you do it over and over again on the very same road with the same people. You can never go back to the past yet you can’t outrun it either. It will catch up with you sooner or later when you least expect it. Life is like that, going round and round but seldom merry. You know what they say… Good things never last. One thing you can say about life is_ it is never boring. There is always something happens to knocks you off your feet. Literally. And not always favorable. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse or both, life’s little surprises. And I don’t know if it is a good idea to write a post when you just woke up and nothing in your stomach wanting to take a bath while listening to the irritating noise of high-pressure cleaner outside knowing you ought to be preparing dinner- a very late one ’cause you woke up too late- instead of playing with the computer keyboard pretending to write. I better get going before I do more damage to this muddled thoughts. Till next time…

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Five To Midnight

Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to used during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course? Each of us has such a bank, its name is time. Every morning, it credits you 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off at a lost, whatever of this you failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and life. The clock is running. Make the most of today.

-David Wolfe

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Tuesday Wisdom

“Never presume to know a person based on the one-dimensional window of the internet. A soul can’t be defined by critics, enemies or broken ties with family or friends. Neither can it be explained by posts or blogs that lack facial expressions, tone or insight into the person’s personality and intent. Until people “get that”, we will forever be a society that thinks Beautiful Mind was a spy movie and every stranger is really a friend on Facebook.”

― Shannon L. Alder

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Shallow

Empty vessels make (the) most noise, you know… bells… Still water runs deep. Coins always make sound but paper money are always silent. I heard somebody said: Deep down, I happen to be very shallow. Talk of juxtaposition. Here’s another one: Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties. Funny. Funny because there is some truth in it.

I’d like to think as a rule, I am very careful to be shallow and conventional where depth and originality are wasted. I borrowed that from somewhere. Can’t remember anymore where. 

They say To define yourself by some label or some level of resources – that’s pretty shallow. I agree. Some people might not. They would and could argue that:

There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it.

I will not pretend I understand. Probably I will if I am having one of those Eureka moments which are getting fewer and fewer these days. Is this mean I am becoming shallow? When one gets older and priorities and preferences changes and reduce to essentials, is one becomes shallow? F. Sionil Jose said:

“We are all shallow because we have become enslaved by gross materialism, the glitter of gold and its equivalents, for which reason we think that only the material goods of this earth can satisfy us and we must therefore grab as much as can while we are able.”

Is this true? In our current society, it seems to be. Sad isn’t it?

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A Mistake

I am wild if you like; but I stayed in my burrow a long, long time, – nibbling your straws and snapping at your fingers, but always just a little out of reach. Until at last, I got to trust you so much that one day I ventured out for a minute, – and you threw rocks at me. And I will never come out again“

– Edna St. Vincent Millay

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What Does A Caterpillar Think

Is happening to the world when

He lies down in his cocoon

And everything is dark

And everything still

And his body starts to change?

Does his whole body ache?

So much so that he thinks his

World is ending?

Does he think this is the end?

Does he think his body is falling

Apart?

He must feel his world crumbling

Chaos

Darkness

Change.

Does he know he is growing

Wings so he can fly above

It all

And soar with the wind?

Does he know he is growing legs

And he is growing the most beautiful artwork for wings

So he will be able to lift himself

Off the ground

He once was stuck to?

Probably not.

When your life is filled with darkness

And your body starts to ache,

Your world is unrecognizable—

Remember the caterpillar

Who curls up thinking that this his final darkness

And his body is failing him,

Who is only but changing

And who awakens one morning to a new life,

A new body—

A butterfly.

~Author: Liz Brenna

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Love Your Body

Little babies love every inch of their bodies. They have no guilt, no shame, and no comparison. You were like that, and then somewhere along the line you listened to others who told you that you were “not good enough.” You began to criticize your body, thinking perhaps that that’s where your flaws were.

Let’s drop all that nonsense and get back to loving our bodies and accepting them totally as they are. Of course, they will change—and if we give our bodies love, they will change for the better.

The subconscious mind has no sense of humor and does not know false from true. It only accepts what we say and what we think as the material from which it builds. By repeating these positive affirmations over and over, you will be planting new seeds in the fertile soil of your subconscious mind, and they will become true for you.

I Love My Body

My body is a glorious place to live. I rejoice that I have chosen this particular body because it is perfect for me in this lifetime. It is the perfect size and shape and color. It serves me so well. I marvel at the miracle that is my body. I choose the healing thoughts that create and maintain my healthy body and make me feel good. I love and appreciate my beautiful body!

When you practice affirmations to Love Your Body, stand in front of the mirror and repeat each new thought pattern ten times. Do this twice a day. Also, write your affirmations ten times during the day. Work with one affirmation a day. You can also write your own positive affirmations. Then if there is any part of your body you still dislike or have a problem with—use that particular affirmation daily for at least a month, or until positive change takes place.

If doubts or fears or negative thoughts come up, just recognize them for what they are—old limiting beliefs that want to stay around. They have no power over you. Say to them gently, “Out! I no longer need you.” Then repeat your affirmations again.

Where you stop working is where your resistance is. Notice the part of your body that you don’t want to love. Give this part extra attention so you may go beyond the limitation. Release the resistance.

In this way, within a short time, you will have a body you really love. And your body will respond by giving you excellent health. Each part of your body will be working perfectly as a harmonious whole. You will even find lines disappearing, weight normalizing and posture straightening.

I love and appreciate my beautiful mind.

I love my eyes. I see clearly in every direction.

I love my nose. I am the power and authority in my world

I love my back. I am supported by life itself.

I love my hips. I carry myself through life in perfect balance.

I love my legs. I move forward in life, unencumbered by the past.

That which we constantly affirm becomes true for us.

– Appreciate Every Inch Of You by Louise Hay

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