Compartmentalizing without realizing,
My feelings keep on resizing and rearranging.
Changing positions to keep my heart safe,
Changing positions to keep my pride intact,
I react to failed attempts and failed attacks
Without a hint of emotion,
As if I’m unchanged by the notion.
While the devotion grows in a safe in my mind,
It lies behind gray matter in a box of things that matter.
I placed them there so they can’t shatter.
I thought I kept them behind glass for all to see,
But really, they’re behind an opaque shape of me.
And so a feeling grows and no one knows
And I expect them to really understand who I am,
When understanding wasn’t part of my initial plan.
The plan was to play it safe,
Using safes and locks and metal boxes,
Under the pretense that they are glass.
And if anyone asks I’m always okay.
Because never okay is never okay right?
When the feelings fight to resurface I’ll build more walls,
And more blocks, adding new locks.
These fortresses protect my most sacred parts.
But now in these hours of honesty and humanity…
I’m just dying to break down the walls,
And give someone all of me…