Tag Archives: opinion

Jolly

It’s that time of the year again. 

Since I lost my faith in organized religion and God himself, I have troubles celebrating anything that has something to do with it. I used to be religious. Not fanatic, but religious. I’ve been brought up surrounded by blind faith and superstitious beliefs. We dutifully recited the Holy Rosary each evening at six o’clock. I’d been tied up around the foot of a table whole night without supper for failing to memorize the Our Father prayer. I attended masses and offered flowers to deities. I had my first communion and confirmation. I’ve been baptized and heck, even married in the church, twice. 

For all that happened to me, I never blame anyone let alone God. I accepted everything without question. I thought my faith was the only thing that was constant in my life and my unshakable belief in the power of the Holy Almighty was something no one can take away from me. I imagined myself being imprisoned and having to choose between death or live by renouncing my faith and I was sure I will rather opt for the first anytime anywhere, till two years ago. Something happened that made me abandoned everything I was taught and live by all those years. There is no way back.

Now, we are this far again. The season to be merry, the time to be jolly and I am neither of those. But even if I didn’t lose my belief in God, I doubt if I am going to join the hysteria of masses during this period. I wrote about the reasons why a few seasons ago and if you have the time, you can read it here, here and here

What about you? Are you religiously celebrating the most celebrated time of the year? Do you still believe in God? How you hold on to your faith when everywhere you look you see the opposite of what you believe in? No, I’m not criticizing. Just showing interest. If you wish to share your thoughts I would love to hear them.

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Varnish

“No varnish can hide the grain of the wood; and that the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Or you can also say: put lipstick on a pig, put rouge on the corpse, making a purse out of a swine’s ear, putting a racing stripe on a … am I allowed to say it here? Probably not. Better leave it at that.

I think basically what Dickens wanted to say is: you can’t hide someone’s true nature. And I believe him. One’s genetic makeup is very hard to alter. Sure, surroundings, upbringing, experience and all those things could have an effect on someone’s innate nature but only on the surface, it cannot change what lies beneath. One’s inner essential nature will always come through sooner or later.

I’m not saying someone can be born a saint or evil and who can say what makes those people act a certain way. A basically good person can commit a grave offense out of desperation, necessity, passion, anger or whatever valid for that moment reason she or he might have but it doesn’t make them a bad human being automatically. You can almost see the genetic makeup of a person by his actions, the nature of their crimes, and how they react to a certain situation. Unplanned circumstances always provoke spontaneous reactions. And that’s when you can see how people truly are, by the way they handle crisis and surprises.

I remember breaking up with someone after accidentally observing his behavior towards others. It was a simple occurrence. We were aboard a public vehicle and the driver stopped to let an elderly passenger in. The person had a difficulty ascending the steps and my then boyfriend was sitting by the door. He could have easily extended his hand and help but he never did nor offered his seat to that person who was clearly having troubles to remain standing during that treacherous ride because of his advanced age. In the end, I gave up my place so the person could sit.

What happened was a revelation to me. My boyfriend was a gentleman. Caring, solicitous, respectful and sweet. To me he was. But to others, he could not care less. And that is something I cannot possibly accept. God knows what he gonna do later in the relationship when the cloak and dagger aspect of courtship is over. I decided I’ve seen enough and dropped him just like that. I believe I made the right decision.

What about you? Do you think I made the right decision?

I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of genetic makeup in general if you care to impart your knowledge. Nothing too fancy or complicated, just your own truth and beliefs. It is always nice to hear other people’s input. I have learned so much that way.

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Age

Does age matters? 

Yes, it certainly does.

No matter what others might say or want you to believe.

It matters in all sorts of ways.

I married someone eleven years my junior and my first husband was eleven years older than me. Though it doesn’t/didn’t matter to us it matters to the outside world and to the family. It matters physically in the sense of I/he was approaching middle age and starting to show and feel the telltale signs that belong to that age while he/I was barely out of his/my twenties. It matters psychologically/mentally as well. People constantly evolve and their preferences and mindset are constantly changing through the years. The differences are so apparent sometimes it can’t be ignored. It matters emotionally as well. How people react sometimes is a great deal depends on their age and the level of maturity. So is the way they handle problems and situations. Someone has to take responsibility and often times if not always, it falls to the shoulders of the one who is older and more experienced partner. 

Socially it matters as well. Your circle of friends don’t belong to the same generation and it can pose quite some problems especially in the beginning. Like with my ex-husband for example, I was still in my teens while he was already in his thirties and going out wasn’t a straightforward matter. We didn’t even have the same taste in music. We ended up leading separate lives.

It matters financially too. Not only career wise but the actual earnings as well. You can’t compare a salary of someone who is barely out of school to somebody who is more experienced and already has a long work history behind him. Try to imagine this: Your spouse is already on a pension while you still have a decade or more before you can take yours, or vice versa. I think it is not easy for both dealing with this situation. I have seen problems arise between couples once they reached this stage whereas before they didn’t have any problems at all regarding age differences. 

Deciding to have children when there is more than a generation gap between a couple is another matter to consider. I know someone personally who in his fifties married someone who was still in mid-thirties and had a five-year-old kid. See what I mean? No one wants to be a parent anymore at that advanced age. People might think it’s your grandchild instead. There is nothing wrong with that but going through with that stage (again) when all you want is to be peaceful and relax enjoying the fruit of your hard work instead of waking up in the middle of the night to feed a crying infant or dealing with teenager tantrums and late night escapades. No, thank you.

Age matters. It really does. Especially when the theories put suddenly to practice. And I don’t even talk about balding/thinning hair and sagging skin, gaining weight and declining libido and all that jazz.

So, next time you think/say age doesn’t matter; think again…

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Snippet

My blog? Snippets of random thoughts, ideas, beliefs, opinions, views, hopes, dreams and fears. No chronological order, no labels, no category. Just pure feelings coming from the heart. It may be vague and irrational at times but always real, honest and true. This is me on a plate without embellishments and trimmings, take it or leave it. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I don’t know any other way. I can edit my words but not my thoughts and feelings. And even if I could I would not. What is the use of having a voice and your own corner if you can’t say what you want? It is like whispering in your own house, afraid somebody might hear you. No, I can’t do that. I will always adhere to common decency and approach each topic politically correct but I would not dilute my writings so it suits sensitive ears and weak minds. I will never apologize for being myself. I know the path to freedom is not the easiest path to traverse, I have been on it since day one. Lots of hurdles but I can’t go off course, that would mean lying to you and to myself. I would appreciate if you walk with me down this road but I would also understand if you can’t. Not everyone is cut out for this journey. I will always be grateful I have met you along the way. These random encounters taught me a lot about life. I will continue this expedition with an open mind and an open heart as always. Maybe we will meet again someday. Take care and see you around…

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Thought Of The Day

“I cannot be part of a world where men dress their wives as prostitutes by showing everything that should be cherished. Where there is no concept of honor and dignity, and one can only rely on those when they say “I promise”.

Where women do not want children, and men don’t want a family.

Where the suckers believe themselves to be successful behind the wheel of their fathers` cars, and a father who has a little bit of power is trying to prove to you that you’re a nobody.

Where people falsely declare that they believe in God with a shot of alcohol in their hand, and the lack of any understanding of their religion.

Where the concept of jealousy is considered shameful, and modesty is a disadvantage.

Where people forgot about love, but are simply looking for the best partner.

Where people repair every rustle of their car, not sparing any money or time, and themselves, they look so poor that only an expensive car can hide it.

Where the boys waste their parents’ money in nightclubs, aping under the primitive sounds, and girls fall in love with them for this.

Where men and women are no longer identifiable and where all this together is called freedom of choice, but for those who choose a different path-get branded as retarded despots.

I choose my path, but it’s a pity that I did not find similar understanding in the people among whom I wished to find it most of all … “  -Keanu Reeves

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Express

Freedom of expression…

The right of every individual to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Sounds great right? How’s this translate in practice? Now, it is starting to get complicated. We all know that expressing your thoughts/yourself was never been easy, it is still not easy and it will never be easy as long as there are censorship, prejudiced and judgmental people who are stuck in their own ideas of what is and what is not and fond of putting others in boxes complete with labels. What the heck, you cannot even dress the way you want, come out the closet or choose a religion or political views without others riding your back. More so if we really are going to express our real uncensored thoughts. I wonder how many people say what they mean (and mean what they say) in daily life. In my experience not so many. And that’s why I am not popular. Mind you I know that there is a huge difference between being honest and being tactless and I would like to think that I am the first rather than the latter. At least I hope so.

Anything that associated with freedom (expression or other) is nothing but a myth in this world. Nobody is totally free. Think of mortgages, nine to five, duties, relationships, citizenships, religion, politics, anything and you will realize that freedom is just a fairy tale, a wishful thinking, an illusion; and freedom of speech, expression or whatever we want to call it falls in the same category. How can we express our thoughts and feelings out there when we can’t even say what we really think to our own spouses and relatives without fear of being an outcast? I know that people don’t tell their honest thoughts even to their best friends. Most of us are afraid of offending someone and nursing the greatest fear of being disliked. Image is all that matters for most. And don’t bother to deny it otherwise selfies and instagrams have never been created let alone become a hype. And before that, it is big houses (bigger than your neighbors at least) big cars, nice clothes expensive jewelry and private schools. You know the drill.

I wonder also how much truth there is in images that people are trying to project to the outside world. Are they really an expression of their true selves or a shot in the dark of what they think others wanted to see. On the other hand, if you care enough to project whatever it is to the public, that says enough about you isn’t it? Acceptance is the key word I guess. Deep down inside we all want to belong, or to be acknowledged or otherwise why bother.

Whatever our own personal reasons for doing our version of self-expression, I’m all for that as long as nobody gets hurt, go for it. Express yourself to the world and have a blast while doing it. Don’t be different for the sake of being different. Just be who you are and the rest will follow. But be brave enough to stick to your own path no matter what because I can guarantee you the ride will be bumpy.

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Risky

What is not risky in life? Even loving or marrying someone is a risk, probably the biggest risk of all since nursing a broken heart and emotional wounds are far worse than losing material and financial assets because money you can gain it back as long as you got a sound mind and healthy body whereas the scars and wounds caused by emotional and psychological trauma brought by failed relationships of any kind stay and often time never heal and bleed by the slightest pressure. It alters your beliefs and perspectives in life, making you more cautious and distrustful if not outright paranoid.  

Everything in this world involves some kind of risk one way or the other, from boiling eggs for breakfast to getting in your car and driving to work. And even there lie greater risk of making the wrong decision like flipping a finger behind your red alpha boss not knowing the person can see your reflection on the glass door of the meeting room.     

Every choice we make in any given situation carries an enormous amount of risk, even those that we think are safe and ordinary like telling the truth or lies can lead to losing your job or a divorce or a fatal fight simply because you happened to look up at the same time a suicidal person is randomly looking at you, or you happened to be walking in the city when someone decided to drive his car through the unsuspecting pedestrians or you are at the concert because it’s your birthday and out of nowhere somebody open fire for whatever reason. There you go.

Life is a risk. No matter what you do and how careful you are. Staying inside is not a solution since most accidents happen at home anyway. Living is dangerous. You are a danger to yourself whether you like it or not. From the cradle to the grave we are running at risk. Babies are risky beings because of their helplessness, toddlers, and children in general too because of their natural curiosity and zero sense of danger, teenagers and young adults are liabilities with their raging hormones and beliefs that they are immortal. And what can I say about elderlies…          

The moment we decided to hang in there we are in danger, so simple is that.

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Sympathy

It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. It’s okay to do what’s healthy for you. It’s okay. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of nonsense everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You are human, and you have the right to say. You have a right to protest against your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions.

– Note to Self

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Critical

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.

Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential as if a job title and salary are the sole measures of human worth.

You will be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.

– Bill Watterson


Do people live in circles today? No. They live in boxes. They wake up every morning in a box of their bedrooms because a box next to them started making beeping noises to tell them it was time to get up. They eat their breakfast out of a box and then they throw that box away into another box. Then they leave the box where they live and get into another box with wheels and drive to work, which is just another big box broken into little cubicle boxes where a bunch of people spend their days sitting and staring at the computer boxes in front of them. When the day is over, everyone gets into the box with wheels again and goes home to the house boxes and spends the evening staring at the television boxes for entertainment. They get their music from a box, they get their food from a box, they keep their clothing in a box, they live their lives in a box. Break out of the box. This not the way humanity lived for thousands of years.

– Elizabeth Gilbert


None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like a hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.

– Richard Gere

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Visceral

I’d like to think that my posts embodied this very word. For the record, I am not doing it deliberately, it’s just me; I’m all feelings, instincts, and intuitions following and trusting them most of the times. Mind you I do follow my feelings but I take my wits with me, always. I’m not doing that deliberately either. Just my genetic makeup. I am who I am. If you doubt the authenticity of my claim, check this out and this for examples and tell me what you think. I would like to believe also that I am not all feelings all the time. Sometimes I (think) I wrote articles that relating more to the intellect rather than mere feelings. Check this, this and this out if you have the time to explore to have an idea what I mean. I will always be me, leaning on the dark sides writing from the heart and serving it raw without embellishments. No wonder I am not popular. But I will gladly take the anonymity anytime versus writing for likes, comments, popularity, and applause losing my self and my core in the process. No, thank you. I rather be me than follow the crowd, adapt herd mentality and become who I am not. I have to stay true to myself. Hence my gravatar only dead fish go with the flow. I know, I know, we are here to share and be read or otherwise why not keep a bedside journal instead of pouring our hearts online and I agree. We all want to be heard/read that’s why we are here but (and it’s a big but) not at the cost of your own true self. I don’t believe in writing for an audience (unless of course if you have to to pay the bills) I call it forced creativity and I am not a big fan of anything forced. Nothing good can come out of it. I’m talking out of experience. Before I have a verdict I sample the wares first so I would know what I’m blabbing about. Before I run, I want to know what it is I am running from. And after running around with the usual crowds I find out that being a copy of the majority in order to belong is a too high price to pay. It made me unhappy and feeling like a fake I don’t even recognize my own self. It’s easier though than swimming against the current but things that are worthy are worth flexing some muscles. Good exercise. Keep the body and mind healthy. And I’m getting sidetracked again so I will leave you here and till next time.

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Shallow

Empty vessels make (the) most noise, you know… bells… Still water runs deep. Coins always make sound but paper money are always silent. I heard somebody said: Deep down, I happen to be very shallow. Talk of juxtaposition. Here’s another one: Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties. Funny. Funny because there is some truth in it.

I’d like to think as a rule, I am very careful to be shallow and conventional where depth and originality are wasted. I borrowed that from somewhere. Can’t remember anymore where. 

They say To define yourself by some label or some level of resources – that’s pretty shallow. I agree. Some people might not. They would and could argue that:

There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it.

I will not pretend I understand. Probably I will if I am having one of those Eureka moments which are getting fewer and fewer these days. Is this mean I am becoming shallow? When one gets older and priorities and preferences changes and reduce to essentials, is one becomes shallow? F. Sionil Jose said:

“We are all shallow because we have become enslaved by gross materialism, the glitter of gold and its equivalents, for which reason we think that only the material goods of this earth can satisfy us and we must therefore grab as much as can while we are able.”

Is this true? In our current society, it seems to be. Sad isn’t it?

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Love Your Body

Little babies love every inch of their bodies. They have no guilt, no shame, and no comparison. You were like that, and then somewhere along the line you listened to others who told you that you were “not good enough.” You began to criticize your body, thinking perhaps that that’s where your flaws were.

Let’s drop all that nonsense and get back to loving our bodies and accepting them totally as they are. Of course, they will change—and if we give our bodies love, they will change for the better.

The subconscious mind has no sense of humor and does not know false from true. It only accepts what we say and what we think as the material from which it builds. By repeating these positive affirmations over and over, you will be planting new seeds in the fertile soil of your subconscious mind, and they will become true for you.

I Love My Body

My body is a glorious place to live. I rejoice that I have chosen this particular body because it is perfect for me in this lifetime. It is the perfect size and shape and color. It serves me so well. I marvel at the miracle that is my body. I choose the healing thoughts that create and maintain my healthy body and make me feel good. I love and appreciate my beautiful body!

When you practice affirmations to Love Your Body, stand in front of the mirror and repeat each new thought pattern ten times. Do this twice a day. Also, write your affirmations ten times during the day. Work with one affirmation a day. You can also write your own positive affirmations. Then if there is any part of your body you still dislike or have a problem with—use that particular affirmation daily for at least a month, or until positive change takes place.

If doubts or fears or negative thoughts come up, just recognize them for what they are—old limiting beliefs that want to stay around. They have no power over you. Say to them gently, “Out! I no longer need you.” Then repeat your affirmations again.

Where you stop working is where your resistance is. Notice the part of your body that you don’t want to love. Give this part extra attention so you may go beyond the limitation. Release the resistance.

In this way, within a short time, you will have a body you really love. And your body will respond by giving you excellent health. Each part of your body will be working perfectly as a harmonious whole. You will even find lines disappearing, weight normalizing and posture straightening.

I love and appreciate my beautiful mind.

I love my eyes. I see clearly in every direction.

I love my nose. I am the power and authority in my world

I love my back. I am supported by life itself.

I love my hips. I carry myself through life in perfect balance.

I love my legs. I move forward in life, unencumbered by the past.

That which we constantly affirm becomes true for us.

– Appreciate Every Inch Of You by Louise Hay

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