My words will either attract a strong mind or offend a weak one.
“I hate solitude, but I’m afraid of intimacy. The substance of my life is a private conversation with myself which to turn into a dialogue would be equivalent to self-destruction. The company which I need is the company which a pub or a cafe will provide. I have never wanted a communion of souls. It’s already hard enough to tell the truth to oneself.”
― Iris Murdoch
“It can be difficult to leave a long-term relationship, even when our inner-wisdom tells us it’s time to let go. At this point, we can choose let go and endure the intense pain of leaving behind the familiar to make way for a new chapter in our life. Or we can stay and suffer a low-grade pain that slowly eats away at our heart and soul, like emotional cancer. Until we wake up, one day and realize, we are buried so deep in the dysfunction of the relationship that we scarcely remember who we were and what we wanted and needed to be.”
― Jaeda DeWalt
1. “Depression is a battle between a body that fights with all its might to survive and a mind that wants to die.”
2. “People ask me what depression is like. I tell them it’s a lot like walking down a dark hallway, never really knowing when the light turn goes on.”
3. “Remember this: You weren’t put here to be depressed. To feel guilty, ashamed, unworthy or condemned. You were put here to be victorious.”
4. “I honestly don’t know what I want in life. I don’t even know what I want right now. All I know is that it hurts so much inside, and it’s eating me alive. One day, there won’t be anything left of me.”
5. “I honestly don’t like getting close to people. In my mind, they’re just going to walk out of my life anyway no matter how close we were.”
6. “Depression is an overwhelming feeling of numbness, and the endless desire for something – anything – to take you from one day to the next.”
7. “I smile to make everyone’s day, but the truth is that I’m crying on the inside.”
8. “I hate feeling like I’m here, but I’m really not; like someone cares, but they really don’t; like I belong anywhere but here.”
9. “Sometimes, you just need that one person to tell you that you aren’t as bad as you think you are.”
10. “Depression makes you feel like you want to just disappear from the world, but in reality, all you truly want is to be found.”
11. “I really wish that I could go back to a time when I would smile, and it didn’t take every fiber of my being to do it.”
12. “In my mind, depression is comparing your current reality to a fantasy about how you think your life should really be.”
13. “Sometimes, you just don’t know the true weight of what you’re carrying until the day you feel its release.”
14. “I just don’t want to hurt anymore. Is that so much to ask?”
15. “The very worst kind of sadness is the kind that doesn’t have an explanation.”
16. “When words can’t express the pain you’re feeling, you cry. That’s the heart’s way of expressing the pain.”
17. “You never want people to see you cry because you want to be strong. But you hate how nobody seems to notice that you’re completely broken and torn apart inside.”
18. “It’s hard to answer the question “what’s wrong?” when nothing is right.”
19. “Depression is that feeling when you’re not really sad – you just feel empty inside.”
20. “That’s the scary thing about depression: humans can survive just about anything as long as we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But depression is sneaky and it continues to build up each day. Ultimately, it becomes impossible to see the light. The fog is like being trapped in a cage without a key.”
31. “Depression is like drowning and you can see everyone around you breathing.”
32. “I’m really tired of feeling hopeless and worthless. But above everything else, I’m just tired of being so tired.”
33. “My fingers text “I’m good”. My lips say “I’m okay”. My heart says “I’m shattered to pieces”.”
34. “Sometimes it’s better to be alone. That way, no one can hurt me.”
35. “I already know what it feels like to give up. Now, I want to see what it feels like not to.”
36. “Don’t ever allow your loneliness and pain to drive you into the arms of someone you know you shouldn’t be with.”
37. “I really want to be happy, but there’s something inside me that screams “you don’t deserve it!””
38. “This life was given to you because you’re strong enough to live it.”
39. “Flowers always grow back – even if someone stomps on them. So will I.”
40. “She’s just like the moon – part of her has always hidden away.”
41. “Sometimes, the sadness makes it hard to breathe. It gets hard to talk about your demons when they’re sitting on your lungs.”
42. “Depression, panic attacks and anxiety are not signs of being weak. They are signs that a person has been too strong for too long.”
43. “I am my own worst enemy. I’m the one who beats me up. I am the one who creates the monsters. I am the one who strips away my own confidence.”
44. “The bravest, strongest thing I ever did was continue on with my life even though I wanted to die.”
45. “I am stronger because I had to be. I am smarter because I’ve made mistakes. I am happier because I’ve been sad. I am wiser now because I’ve learned.”
46. “Depression is almost like a reverse nightmare. Instead of waking up from a nightmare and feeling relieved, I woke up into a nightmare.”
47. “I keep things inside because that’s the safest place to hide.”
48. “They never told me that monsters don’t actually sleep under your bed; they live in your mind.”
49. “How did I go from being a happy, care-free, laughing six-year-old to this?”
50. “Depression has a way of sneaking up on me when I think I’m flying high. It clips my wing, but not both because I will not let it take over every single piece of me.”
51. “I’m only now just learning how to smile. It’s really not as easy as it sounds.”
52. “I’m heartbroken and sad. I’m hurt and depressed. All I want to do is cry, but I don’t want to let this ruin my life.”
53. “Pain is emotional. Depression and fear are always in company with chronic hurting.”
61. “I think it’s time to stop keeping track of all my mistakes, and just forgive myself.”
62. “I don’t mind being alone. It’s the loneliness that I hate.”
63. “I hate it when I get flashbacks of things I don’t want to remember.”
64. “Sometimes, this overwhelming feeling of sadness just washes over me out of nowhere. I get upset and I feel discouraged. I feel sad, hurt and hopeless. I feel numb to the world.”
65. “People always comment on how sad and tired I look. Of course, I look sad and tired. I am sad and tired.”
66. “Why does it always seem like it’s raining down on me?”
67. “I think I’m just afraid to be happy. Every time I get too happy, something bad happens.”
68. “This is my heart. Do you know where I can get it fixed?”
69. “Please stop asking if I’m okay. I’m really tired of lying.”
70. “Do you ever feel like the people of the world just forget you exist and still have feelings?”
71. “Someday, this pain will all make sense to you.”
72. “I’m pretty sure that no one else could ever criticize me as viciously as I criticize myself.”
73. “I feel like everyone else is busy living their lives while I’m stuck here inside of this hole I can’t climb out of.”
74. “My past is constantly haunting me, and I just can’t seem to figure out how to let it go.”
75. “I feel completely lost in my own mind. I bottle up my emotions until I burst. It’s a vicious cycle.”
76. “She could never really tell who would leave or stay, so she just pushed everyone away. It was much easier that way.”
77. “Although things may seem like they’re falling apart, they may actually be just falling into place.”
78. “Everyone is searching for that one person whose demons play nice with theirs.”
79. “The scars may have healed, but that doesn’t mean that the pain has.”
80. “To heal a wound, you have to stop touching it.”
81. “How do you run away from – escape – your own mind?”
82. “I can’t sleep at night. I can’t wake up in the morning either.”
83. “My life is a constant battle between wanting to be left alone, but not wanting to feel lonely.”
84. “When you’re depressed, sleep isn’t just sleeping; it’s an escape.”
85. “Sometimes, I’m really afraid to open up to my friends about my anxiety and sadness because they’ll think I’m just looking for attention.”
86. “Don’t think for a second that my bad days are a sign of weakness. Those are the days that I’m actually fighting the hardest.”
87. “I’ve reached a point where everything is incredibly overwhelming. Even the smallest of tasks make me feel like breaking down and crying my eyes out. It’s all just too much to bear right now.”
88. “I feel like, secretly, everyone around me hates me.”
89. “I always feel like everyone is prettier, funnier, skinnier, better than me.”
90. “Oh, there’s a hell. Trust me – I’ve been there.”
91. “You may smile, but you really want to cry. You may talk, but you really want to be silent. You pretend that you’re happy, but you really aren’t.”
92. “When you’re depressed, you just keep going and going until you finally crash and break down about anything and everything.”
93. “Depression is a kind of tired that no amount of sleep in the world can fix.”
94. “I’m really not sure if I’m depressed. I mean, I’m not really sad. But late at night when I’m alone, I just forget how to feel.”
95. “There are some days when I feel like I’m on top of the world. And then the next day, it’s falling down all around me.”
96. “I keep all the hurt and pain inside because I would rather have it destroy me than everyone else around me.”
97. “I think people really have a hard time understanding how stressful it can be to try and explain all the things going on in your head when you can’t even understand it yourself.”
98. “There are times when I feel like I’m getting better. I’ll eat normally. I’ll laugh more and talk more. I’ll sleep better. But then it’s like something happens – like a switch turns off in my mind. And all of sudden, I’m left with just the darkness of my mind.”
99. “You can’t change the things that are going on around you until you change the things that are going on within you.”
100. “I am just not me anymore. And that scares me.”
101. “I just never get my hopes up. That way, I can never be let down.”
102. “I’ve had people tell me that my depression is all in my head. But why would I ever want to feel this way?”
103. “When you feel like you’ve reached the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and keep holding on.”
104. “Sometimes, it’s the one person who tries to make everyone else happy that is the loneliest of all.”
105. “The strongest people in the world are not the ones who win battles in front of us, but the ones who win the battles we know nothing about.”
106. “You know that moment when you can physically feel the pain in your chest when something breaks your heart?”
107. “I think most people don’t realize that there are a lot of people out there who expend a tremendous amount of energy just trying to be normal.”
108. “I tend to be silent when I’m really screaming inside.”
109. “I knew who I was this morning, but since then, I’ve changed a few times.”
110. “Every person has their own secret sorrows that they hide from the world. Oftentimes, we call people cold when they’re just sad.”
111. “When I feel anxious, it’s because I’m living in the future. When I feel depressed, it’s because I’m still living in the past.”
112. “I’ve finally realized that I just have to accept things the way they are. Life gets much easier when you do this.”
113. “There are times when I just want to run away and see if anyone misses me.”
114. “I always compare myself to every person I see, and I lose every single time.”
115. “I know first-hand what it’s like to be completely terrified of your own mind.”
116. “Each day, you wake up just to fight the same demons that left you feeling utterly exhausted the day before.”
117. “Please – do not mock or poke fun at a pain that you’ve never personally endured.”
~via Awesoroo by David Gorkonel
Don’t ever allow your loneliness and pain to drive you into the arms of someone you know you shouldn’t be with.
Intimacy, I suddenly realized, is a tender thing, slow and hard to gain, quick and easy to lose.
If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness, and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days. ~ Kris Carr
It is very hard to explain to people who have never known serious depression or anxiety the sheer continuous intensity of it. There is no off switch. ~ Matt Haig
Here is the tragedy: when you are the victim of depression, not only do you feel utterly helpless and abandoned by the world, you also know that very few people can understand, or even begin to believe, that life can be this painful. There is nothing I can think of that is quite as isolating as this. ~ Giles Andreae
We live in a society bloated with data yet starved for wisdom. We’re connected 24/7, yet anxiety, fear, depression, and loneliness is at an all-time high. We must course-correct. ~Elizabeth Kapu’uwailani Lindsey
I’ve always liked depressing music because a lot of times, listening to it when you’re down can actually make you feel less depressed. Also, even though a person may have problems with depression, sometimes you can actually be kind of comfortable in that space because you know how to operate within it. ~ Chris Cornell
It’s really easy to slide into a depression fueled by the pointlessness of existence. ~ Robert Smith
Never once, during any of my bouts of depression, had I been inclined or able to pick up a telephone and ask a friend for help. It wasn’t in me. ~ Kay Redfield Jamison
You don’t think in depression that you’ve put on a gray veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a bad mood. You think that the veil has been taken away, the veil of happiness and that now you’re seeing truly. ~ Andrew Solomon
I don’t want to wake up. I am having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It is almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I wake up each day into a nightmare. ~ Ned Vizzini
That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.” ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel
If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do. ~ Stephen Fry
~by Bella Bliss via Elephant Journal
I don’t remember ever having faked an orgasm in my life, honestly. For many years I just didn’t have orgasms with lovers, but somehow it never occurred to me to fake it. However, I am realizing lately how common it is for women to fake orgasms.
Quite a few of my female clients tell me they fake it because they feel so dissatisfied sexually and just want to get it over with. This happens for many different reasons related to lack of contact with their sexual energy, low libido, insecurity, lack of connection to the body, relationship issues and not enough foreplay.
Considering our global average for total sexual intercourse time of roughly four minutes, it’s safe to say that most couples don’t spend much time on foreplay. This can be an issue since, according to Tantric principles, a woman’s body needs much more time to fully awaken and reach states of ecstasy and true orgasm. I usually recommend at least 30 minutes of foreplay, preferably more.
If you don’t believe that women fake orgasms, or that there’s a remote possibility you’ve ever been with a woman who faked an orgasm, see the video clip below for Meg Ryan’s spectacular and convincing fake orgasm. Ahem, so that’s settled then.
Even when they are having orgasms, many female clients I meet only experience short, superficial clitoral orgasms, leaving them feeling exhausted and depleted afterward. Very few women experience deeper internal orgasms or the feeling of dissolving into orgasmic bliss or expanding into an ecstasy that is actually part of every woman’s sexual potential.
A friend of mine was taught in high school sex education that 90% of women cannot have internal orgasms, so she didn’t bother even trying to have anything but clitoral orgasms. My own sex education in Australia in the 90s basically consisted of putting a condom on a banana. This kind of disempowering, bogus “sex education” makes me annoyed.
Why not teach women that their body can be a wonderland of ecstatic bliss if they’ll only devote the time and energy to discovering its secrets? Why not teach men that they can have whole body non-ejaculatory orgasms? Why not teach all teenagers that sex can be sacred, profound, loving and deeply transforming when done consciously?
Most of us are never taught that there are more than 50 different kinds of female orgasm. The clitoris is just one tiny, little aspect of female sexuality. The real gold lies buried deeper in the Yoniverse (vagina)—the G-spot, the A-spot, and the cervix are all important places to get to know better.
Then there’s also whole body energetic orgasm, orgasm from nipple stimulation, vaginal canal orgasms, orgasms that come from your lover kissing your labia, the list goes on. Women usually need long, slow foreplay to experience these kinds of orgasms. Men need long foreplay too, to build the sexual energy gradually so they can last longer, connect deeper to their partner and develop higher sensitivity.
It’s not about chasing orgasms though, the idea is to become orgasmic. We want to feel the orgasmic energy flowing through our bodies for hours on end, interspersed with more intense orgasms, rather than just short peak experiences where we feel exhausted afterward.
During prolonged states of profound pleasure and orgasm, we let go of the mind, any stress and tensions, and relax into the fullness of who we are. The more often we can experience these states with awareness, the easier it is to release limiting ego patterns, become more conscious and connected to ourselves and our loved ones and feel our blissful nature in all areas of life. Sex becomes a deep spiritual practice.
So without further ado, here are my seven essential elements of Tantric foreplay:
1. Make sure you’re in a good mood and feeling connected,
Contrary to popular belief, foreplay doesn’t begin in the bedroom. It starts with making sure you’re in a good mood and feeling connected to yourself, then and only then can you truly connect with your lover. Do whatever you need to do before to feel relaxed, peaceful and present in your body: move around, dance, do yoga, meditate, run, have a bath. Just don’t go straight from work or being on the computer to play time! Take time to prepare yourself so you feel fresh and clean and wear something you feel good in.
2. Create an inspiring space,
Dirty dishes, piles of washing or paperwork, kids toys and clutter are just not a turn-on, ever. Take a little time to create an inspiring sacred space for your lovemaking. Some people say that the difference between Tantric sex and regular sex is incense and candles. That’s not exactly true, but I do really love lighting a few candles to set the mood and transform a mundane space into something more beautiful and magical. I strongly recommend banning all overhead lighting from your intimate experiences. Think soft, gentle lamp light and mood lighting. Throwing fabric over unseemly clutter works wonders too.
3. Connect in the heart first.
Take a few minutes to just sit together and tune in to your partner and let go of any distractions from your day. Simply hold hands, breath, close your eyes and feel the connection between you. Visualise love flowing between your hearts. Set the intention to be fully present, give your best to each other and have a beautiful experience together.
4. Let go of the idea of a goal.
In Tantric foreplay, we’re not just trying to get things wet enough to go on to the main event of penetration. We focus on being conscious in every moment, taking time to really feel, going slowly, developing a more refined sensitivity instead of going for more sensation. A slow warm-up is essential and makes for more ecstatic bliss later for everyone.
Men, don’t skip straight to the breasts or genitals, but take time to caress her whole body – there are many erogenous zones to discover! Keep the foreplay going for at least half an hour, no matter how much she begs for you to come inside. Just try it. Trust me. Also, for a change, don’t end in ejaculation and feel the difference in your energy level afterward.
5. Explore orally.
Traditionally, Tantric foreplay involves the man being more active, as his body generally doesn’t need as much time to warm up. I heard a joke once: For a man, there are basically only two types of foreplay: The first is waiting to have his penis touched, and the second is having his penis touched.
So, men, it is generally better to kiss her down there first and let her warm up deliciously slowly. Take time to get to know her intimately, don’t focus on the clitoris too much. Experiment with different tongue strokes. Realise how beautiful and sacred this part of her body is. Honor every inch of her.
6. Be intuitive, follow the flow, be spontaneous.
Most articles I’ve read about Tantric foreplay say things like, “Take a bath together, touch each other in this specific way, lick her toes one by one.” In reality, there is no set formula and it can be a danger to follow those kinds of specific instructions because everyone is different. It’s just about tuning in to your partner and feeling what connects you deeper and makes you more present together.
7. Above all else, strive to be present.
Keep your eyes open and the lights on most of the time. Stay present together. There is nothing sexier than someone fully present in their body, someone so conscious they can feel even the most subtle orgasmic energy and let it fill their whole body completely.
If you’re totally stuck in your mind, you can’t feel connected to your lover, and you definitely can’t dissolve into ecstatic orgasmic bliss! To become more present, just focus on the breath and the physical sensations in the body. If your mind wanders away, gently bring it back again and again to the present moment. Embrace the sensory experience fully.
Oh, and don’t forget to enjoy the journey!
Do you have any juicy foreplay tips I’ve missed?
I’d love to hear them, feel free to tell me in the comments below.
Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse.
~Regina Brett
What I feel these days? I don’t know anymore. It is nothing like I’ve felt before but, whatever it is, it’s overlaid with so many other emotions that it’s difficult to isolate…
“August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time.”
― Sylvia Plath
And here we are… Listening to The Last Summer Song. Appreciating every single sun ray. Dancing in the most beautiful sunsets. Enjoying silence and unity with nature. Daydreaming in the shadows of weary oaks. Gathering wildflowers while wearing a linen dress…
It’s Friday and I don’t know what to do. Last Wednesday was mother’s day Ascension Day, therefore, National Holiday. My son decided to bestow on us a royal visit fresh from a month holiday all over Italy where he was canvassing for an ideal place to buy a house which he said I could inhabit if in case I would really go through with the divorce. He said he will never hinder my freedom since we will never be married. Nice to know I have some options.
We ended up taking a very long walk of 12 kilometers along the coast. Far too far for my limit these days. The outcome is I was flat and out yesterday and just about alive today. I want to go to the shopping mall for no specific reason other than to buy a massage oil for my aching bones. I gulped down a shortbread raspberry tart (a big no-no for my gluten and lactose intolerance but what the heck) with real green tea in the hope of perhaps it could revive me but only succeeded to make me feel heavy and bloat my tummy. When I’m going to learn?
I’m off to take a bath now to feel human again. Till next time and Happy Weekend!
I don’t have one.
I do have a fixation problem once in a while but it doesn’t last very long. For the moment it is succulents and cacti. It used to be scarves, then handbags, then blazers then shoes or pizza. My son’s poison is coffee. For D. anything sweet, in particular chocolates, but cakes and ice creams will do. He’s onto it too much that he hallucinates if he can’t eat any of those within three days. My Ex’s weakness is more lethal: alcohol. It’s a habit, a dependency, an enslavement it cost him our marriage and I heard that history is about to repeat itself. I hope not. I hope that he learned already his lessons but does leopard really lost his spots?
How about you? What is your addiction?
MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO 
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