We All Have A Life We Aren’t Living

“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.” ~ Tuck Everlasting

Inside each of us lives a secret—the life not taken.

There are moments in which we truly live and centuries in which we die—all the while we hope that somehow we can just get by.

We hold onto the faith that we will end up exactly where we need to be, and that in the end it will turn out to match where we wanted to be, too. We make decisions based on money and narrow our options based on sensibility, yet we always wonder what would happen if we drifted outside of the margins we have grown so accustomed to.

We each have a path that lives unlived inside each of us. The life we deemed too risky to try, the one that made sense to our hearts but not our minds.

But we chose our reality. Maybe the choices were made for us, or maybe through the choices we were made—but ultimately we neglected this life, this almost-what-if.

Yet this life doesn’t die. Instead it lingers on the edges of our memory, sometimes so close it seems as if we could reach out and touch it. Sometimes, it seems this life is still an option.

There are decisions that exist for all of us that can change the entire course of our lives when it comes down to it. We just have to be aware that some choices create walls that confine us, while others plant gardens and open up paths that we never knew existed.

This life business isn’t easy. We don’t receive a rulebook for it nor do we always know how each choice will pan out—yet all of us simply try to do our best. However, I suppose the question is, are we doing our best for the right reasons? What is the right reason for making the choices we do in our lives?

We are each here for a specific purpose in this lifetime, one that our souls signed up for before coming to earth. Some of us are here to balance out our karmic debt, others are here to learn by struggling, some are gifted with ease and abundance, and still there are those whose only purpose in this life is to love.

But, regardless of which purpose our souls were assigned in this life, we can still make the choice to choose happiness.

Oftentimes, it seems something as simple as happiness is a foreign currency that rarely seems to have value against the more materialistic and tangible measures of success. But we often neglect the reality that all of the things in the world we could own—including the life we believe we should be living—can never take the place of true, authentic happiness.

Finding out what makes us happy is scary. It almost seems as if at times, the pursuit of it is a threat to the status quo if we define our happiness differently than the rest of society. That perhaps if we found out what truly made us happy, we would then abandon everything that didn’t support that individual pursuit. We can fool ourselves of many things—our righteousness, our direction, our meaning, perhaps even our satisfaction—yet we cannot fool ourselves into happiness.

Because no matter how we try to fake it, we know deep down when it is not genuine.

Life is as simple as love; it’s we who complicate matters. It’s we who create problems where none exist.

The life that sits below our surface, bubbling with possibility and the allure of authenticity, is there for a reason. It reminds us of our authentic selves. It is quite possibly the life we were born to live.

We can say that everything happens as it’s meant to, and perhaps that is true to some degree, yet that doesn’t mean that sometimes we don’t let fear ruin the beauty that could be. It’s our job in this life to never back down from what speaks in and to our hearts. It’s our mission to never become derailed by the belief that anything else matters more than this.

It’s our purpose to see that our greatest happiness is in our hands.

There isn’t magic in shelving this un-lived life away for greater conveniences or for supposed responsibilities. On the contrary, it’s our greatest tragedy to walk away from everything

But guess what?

The really amazing and beautiful thing is that it’s never too late.

It’s never too late to make the choice to live our previously unlived life.

It’s never too late to be happy.

Our lives are solely in our own hands. While we can elevate others to places of great importance in our lives, ultimately if we are not happy, no one else in our lives will be either. Just as we can’t expect another to be responsible for our happiness, we also can’t take someone else’s upon our shoulders. For that is a weight that eventually will not only crush us, but our dreams as well.

In order to take that un-lived life and reopen it up for exploration, we have to give up fear of leaving our comfort zones and of having others disapprove of our choices. We have to decide to be brave enough to explore whatever avenue our souls feel pulled to.

We simply have to realize that this life is meant to be lived—not just endured. Explored, caressed, loved, and enjoyed until the very last minute on this beautiful planet.

And if we get to the end, and our hearts are full and our bodies weak, then perhaps we succeeded in this life. Just maybe we were not only alive, but also living.

Just maybe we will find that in the end, regardless of our purpose, it’s only happiness and love that truly matter.

Author: Kate Rose

6027189764_99b9b99f7f_b

Roots

“A tree without roots is just a piece of wood.”

I was watching a pre-recorded version of Masterchef Australia early this morning (around 2:00 o’clock insomniac that I am) when suddenly talking to the contestants, encouraging them to  go back to their childhood and use their earliest memories as inspirations for that day challenge Marco Pierre White said: “A tree without roots is just a piece of wood.” Immediately it conjures up in my mind an image of a driftwood on the beach, no anchor to hold it down and the waves carry and toss it around. It goes from place to place from shore to shore completely in the mercy of the ever changing whim of nature and it hurts, it really hits me to the core. Being brought up isolated by tyrannical parents and being part of a dysfunctional family of nomad gypsies who moved a lot, I never find where I belong. My roots had been pulled out before they can even have a chance to settle and get hold. Me and my siblings, we never had a contingency to grow and flourish in a familiar soil. I’ve said these already before, If I could reach for something brilliant that would be the home which been denied to me and the presence of the peace I’ve never known…

homeless-girl

The Anatomy Of Three Words

Scene 1:

Just outside your door, I coughed once. Adjusted my collar; took a whiff of my underarm: expensive cologne charms. Knock. Knock. Knock. You opened the door with your hair tied in a bun, and that dark maroon dress. Was it a blue eyeliner? “Shall we leave?” You grabbed my arms.

Scene 2:

“Love is overrated,” you said as you took another sip from a glass of bloody mary. Stranger is playing songs on guitar, idle chatter around the bar, your fingers tracing my lines of destiny: whatever happened to old-school romance. “You are way too sad, but I guess melancholy has its own charm,” you asserted with a half-seductive smile. “Come dance,” you dragged me. You were drunk enough to fall in my arms.

Scene 3:

“This is it, then?” you tapped the edges of the table. Tear-stained mascara, the stench of rotten past, and few memories too precious to reveal: we burn them all. “Listen to me,” you lean forward. “Don’t ruin us by saying it.” I nodded, and you kissed my forehead. I gulped down cheap alcohol, and you packed your belongings. I watched you go with a lump in my throat: too weak to admit; too fragile to just leave.

-from the Honest Musing via Facebook

5415336016_467c72a72d_o

Thought Of The Day

Single people want relationships, settled people wonder if they’re missing out on something, traveling types miss stability, stable ones are restless, old friends want new friends, new friends miss old friends, and basically almost everyone my age has some dangling worry trailing around after them everywhere that they’re somehow not doing everything, that what they’re doing is not altogether the right thing, that they are missing out. Do not be ashamed. The doubt is natural, and everyone you know yes, even that person carries it sometimes too.

Allow yourself to be peaceful. Allow yourself satisfaction in what you have. If you really don’t like it, allow yourself permission to make changes.

– Lillian Schneider

fl1

Harmony

My house is buried in the deepest recess of the forest, every year ivy vines grow longer than the year before. Undisturbed by the affairs of the world I live at ease, woodmen’s singing rarely reaching me through the trees.

While the sun stays in the sky, I mend my torn clothes and facing the moon, I read books aloud to myself. Let me drop a word of advice for believers of my faith.

To enjoy life’s immensity, you do not need many things.

– Ryokan

1980001_636173269788185_1889073098_o

Opaque

Some say I’m the quiet type
usually not the life of the party

I’d much rather stay home and
sip on a bottle of pineapple Bacardi

Reflect on life
and all of its meaning

Cook, listen to music
and spend all night dreaming

of what the future looks like
contemplate the afterlife

Don’t need to live rife
or excessively abundant

Don’t mean to sound redundant

Don’t need many friends
not quite sure how to trust

Hard to let down my guard
hard to adjust

my mind to the fact that
people don’t always act

with your best interest in mind
Will have you resigned

thinking they’ve left you behind
might have turned a blind eye

to all that you’ve given
over time

I won’t go into that deeper
probably because

I’m a peacekeeper
doesn’t mean I’m fragile

especially not a pushover

Doesn’t mean I’m a doormat
or someone you can get over

or disrespect in any way
shape or form

I’m out of the norm
don’t usually conform

to the thoughts and ideas
you might have of me

See

a girl like me
always knows

but doesn’t always show
or really disclose

how she feels

I’m like the calm before the storm
I like to keep the peace

but don’t think
you can get by with a wink

and a smile
Because after a while

I’ll put you on trial
and question your lifestyle

So even though
I’m the quiet type

I’m an original
not a prototype

Won’t stick to stereotypes
won’t fall for the hype

I’m just me
and I’ll continue to be

on this quiet path of happiness
where my spirit is completely free…

~Author: Carrie King

73647_54615_big

To The Guy Who Thought That I wasn’t Good Enough…

Thank you you for making me feel that I wasn’t someone worth fighting for. Thank you for making me question and doubt every little thing about myself. Thank you for making me second guess my actions. Thank you for making me feel unimportant and a nuisance in your life.

Thank you for letting me down countless times. Thank you for keeping secrets that everyone knew but me. Thank you for constantly lying about who you really are. Thank you for making a big fool out of me.

Thank you for bringing out my worst side.

Thank you for showing me that you can change for the better for someone else but you can’t for me.

Thank you for leaving even if I give you everything I had. Thank you for letting go and reminding me that I was the only one holding on.

Thank you for all the times you made me feel bad. Thank you for making me regret all the years I spent loving you.

Because if you hadn’t done all these things, I wouldn’t realize my worth. I wouldn’t realize that I should finally stop settling for any less than I deserve. I wouldn’t realize that I want to find a love that would never make me feel the same things you did.

And I know I will, eventually. I will find someone who appreciates everything I do. I will find someone who will never take me for granted. I will find someone who will treat me the way I should be treated.

I will find someone who will do everything you wouldn’t.

For now, knowing that is enough. I am enough. I know I am, even if you didn’t.

Words by: Micaela Andres

stock-footage-girl-typing (1)

A Letter To The Mistress From The Wife

Dear Mistress,

I have something to say to you.

Don’t worry, this will be brief.

I really didn’t think we’d hear from you again. I was under the impression that you were gone forever. I thought we had dismantled your body and dissolved the remains. Yet, judging by the sight of your tear stains and the lingering stench of low self-worth, that is not the case.

You’ve somehow crawled your way out of that dark, abandoned hovel where we banished your memory.

You must have been waiting for the perfect moment to reappear.

When everything seemed to be so promising and so pleasant.

When life was flowing effortlessly in our favored direction.

When we felt free to inhale and exhale with only the sweetest of breaths.

Well, I can’t say that it’s good to see you again.

But, perhaps it is.

Because now I can finally tell you what I really think of you.

Now I have an opportunity to put you in your rightful place.

You see, mistress, this is not your place.

You don’t belong here.

You don’t belong in this void in which you have wedged yourself, somewhere between approval and rejection.

You don’t belong in the pause, the haze, the in-between.

You don’t belong in the maybe, the I’m not sure, the until something better comes along.

I know it may seem like this is home. But this is not your home.

You’ve just gotten used to these paper-thin prison walls.

I know you.

I know that you willingly give your love to those who can only toss it aside. Because you are terrified of what would happen if someone actually loved you back.

I know you only get involved with men who treat you like a pitstop on their way to greater destination.

I know you blame them. But they are not culprits, monsters, or the evil manipulators you may want them to be.

You are the only one responsible for putting yourself here. You are the only one to blame.

You are not a victim to anything except your lack of self-consideration.

Life will give you more of what you give to it.

If you show disregard for that heart that beats through you and as you, life will only bring you those people who will do the same.

Because while you may pretend that everything is okay as it is, while you may project a false air of self-reliant indifference, while you may act as if you don’t care for the ones that share your bed,

I know that you are lying.

I know that you want more than what you’ve been getting.

I know that you want something genuine, something reciprocal, something real.

I know that you want to feel loved as I am loved.

It might be scary to ask for it, but I know you want it.

And now I need to tell you, since you clearly don’t believe it:

Mistress, you are lovable and you are loved.

You are no one’s second choice.

You are no one’s back up plan.

You are no one’s side gig, part-time hole, some time hearth.

You are not a convenient object of use.

You are not a casual hobby or a passing fad.

You are not a receptacle for emotions, worries or bodily fluids.

You are someone to be admired.

You are someone to be adored.

You are someone to be sure about.

All of you is desirable.

Mistress, all of you is lovable and all of you is loved.

You do not have to settle for bits of fickle attention.

You do not have to hold onto scraps of false affection.

You are deserving of an entire feast of love.

Sweet talk will coat your ears and rot your heart.

Promises mean nothing when not intended to be kept.

You can learn the difference between authentic and illusory.

You can learn to trust your instinct.

You will never again have to feel used.

You will never again have to feel needy.

You will never again have to coerce, pressure, or force someone’s commitment.

Because mistress, you are lovable and you are loved.

You are always loved by the infinite presence that created you.

Call it God, call it the Universe, call it whatever you will.

Life created you just as you are.

And it loves you just as you are.

You can feel this love whenever you want to.

It is always present and it is always yours.

You are connected to all of life.

When you have love for yourself, you have love for all of life.

And when you love all of life, it will love you right back.

In a way you always hoped you’d be loved.

In a way you never before have allowed yourself to be.

Remember and live this truth.

Life will always match you at the level of your truth.

And at some point, life will bring you another person who values you as much as you value yourself.

When you truly feel this—when you trust this like you trust your pulse—then you will find yourself in the position in which I stand

Contrary to what you may have thought, I don’t hate you. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

I only hold the highest of hopes and intentions for you.

Because I was you and I am you.

Because I love you and I love us.

With immense respect and an infinity of gratitude,

~ Wife

sabbat_opened_letter1

Text via Elephant Journal

Timely

We are a generation that replaces, that doesn’t repair, that doesn’t try, because we are busy in the race of life. We are too cool, too rigid, with “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, and we are too confident that, we can find other people who will be so much better than these stupid people who once were an inseparable part of our life. We break up on text messages, we end friendships by a whatsapp message followed by un-friending, unfollowing on every social media portal. I mean, seriously? Texts, the most fucked up form of communication that only and solely causes confusion and communication gaps!

I am not saying, keep chasing, keep running behind that person, but at least give it one shot? Drop them a text, place a call, and talk, try to figure it out. I know it’s easy to find yourself new cool chaps to hang out with, go grab a drink with, and dance the weekend away, but don’t you think for all the times you people were there for each other when no one else was, do you think you’ll be able to find someone; who you’ll run to when your heart is breaking, who you’ll run to when you need to approach that guy you’ve been crushing since forever, someone who you want to share every tiny detail of your day, who you run to when you need those arms to heal you, who you’ll call when you have no words to explain what’s happening in your head and heart. I think, “your person” should be given one chance, what you shared should be given one chance. The numerous emotions, memories, etc deserve one chance?

-by Divyar Rikhari

5623539943dae