Hope Is The Thing With Feathers

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chilliest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

– BY EMILY DICKINSON

Paper Tigers

Amelia Earhart said:

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

I agree with the first step/plunge is the hardest to take. Once you are airborne/on the move, there is no turning back unless of course you are a bonafide coward. With the plunge, you have no other choice but to swim or sink. There you go.

However, I don’t agree with fears being paper tigers. Some fears are grounded and born out of survival instinct. You know… gut feelings which are in most cases accurate. We know when we are in mortal danger; we somehow sense it. So, if you are afraid, better check that before you run, you know what it is you are running from. But never, ever ignore your fears. Most of the time it will save your skin and keep you out of trouble. Feeling afraid is healthy. It means your senses are working. There are irrational fears of course (perhaps that was Amelia was talking about) I know a lot about it being born paranoid from a dysfunctional family having more baggage than I could carry and being served since day one with traumas; yes sir! I know a lot about irrational fears.

But those are real too for the sufferers. Crippling and suffocating as well. But mind you, it takes courage to live with those. Not so many could function with them as companions. Only the brave survived.

I don’t know about the procedure, the process being its own reward. The process are more difficult, more challenging, more deadly than the outcome. It is not the same as the journey is better than the destination.

The doing is often more important than the outcome. The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.

Lessons yes, reward no. When it comes to irrational fears, coming to the light after journeying through deepest darkest tunnels of your mind is more rewarding than the process getting out of there. Believe you me.

How about you?

Any fears? (Of course we all have) Irrational or otherwise?

Brave enough to talk about it?

Agree To Disagree(?)

This past year, I lost several really close friends for speaking up. A true friend is not afraid to let you know their opinion. Their opinion of you or the things that happens around you. Their boldness and frankness relies heavily on the fact that they have faith in your relationship enough to be authentic. Comfortable enough to speak the truth. Respectful enough to be honest. Cares enough to be frank.

A fake friend, however, will feed your mind and ears whatever you need and want to hear and see. These people are so eager to please most especially when they want something in return or when the relationship has “benefits”. I am not that. I am very outspoken, bold, frank, highly opinionated, obstinate, rational, and logical. Hand in hand, I must say, I am compassionate. However harsh words may come out of me it is said with integrity and with pure intentions. I pride myself for *trying* to follow the 4 Way Test. Is it the truth? Is it beneficial?

How one receives other people’s thoughts and opinions is a reflection of their inner world. How reactive one is defines who they are. Do you edit yourself in accordance to other people’s inner world? Is their inner dialogue, their thought process, your responsibility? You cannot do much with people who are trapped in victim mentality. They usually receive opinions/pieces of advice that don’t suit them as “personal attacks”. Whatever it is, their thought process is never your responsibility. Just put it simply. Always be honest. Be kind. Be gentle if you may. But be truthful, no matter how “harsh”. Be bold. Be frank. Do not be afraid. Last but not the least, always have positive intentions. How they receive it is never your responsibility.

Pika Yonzon said this on her FB page. I don’t know her personally and she doesn’t know I exist. I visit her space once in a while because it interest me. I may not agree with everything she says but I admire her honesty and the courage to travel the path less taken regardless of the circumstances. Like they say; it takes one to know one.

About the above quote: I cannot emphasize enough the vast difference between being honest and being tactless. There are lots of politically correct manner to air one’s opinion without offending others. I am all for honesty. But on the other hand, if one’s purpose for speaking their minds is to humiliate, hurt and offend then I can’t agree.

I agree with you cannot and should not edit your thoughts to please others. But I don’t agree with giving unsolicited advice. I am a front runner for live and let live. If others words and actions don’t concern you personally and not harming you or anyone, let it go. pick your battle and don’t go into it with an unarmed person. Learn to walk away sometimes.

Whenever you questioned others motives and choices, it is automatically a personal attack. What else it could be? If you bring in doubt one’s own decisions and criticize them, it is difficult not to take it personally. However, if they ask for your opinion, you can give yours honestly without hurting their ego. There are so many ways you can voice your thoughts without offending. Unless of course if someone has onion skin. You can share your view on things by asking questions, by weighing the pro and con, by comparing or presenting the big picture as whole if this decision or that decision is taken and so forth and so on. Avoid using demeaning/derogatory words and don’t ever, ever be on your high horse. Keep it brief to avoid discussion and confusion and always stick to the point.

If How one receives other people’s thoughts and opinions is a reflection of their inner world, then that much can say also about you. Your words are reflection of you too and your actions speak volumes as well. So, it cuts both ways.

Another thing I’ve learned navigating this planet for more than 5 decades now is: you can’t expect others to see/think/understand/experience the way you do. Most likely, two people who shared the same event experience it differently. Everyone has their own version of the same thing.

Pika understands this because she said:

Not everyone aspires the same things. Not everyone enjoys the same things. Not everyone dreams the same things.We all react differently. Our opinions vary greatly. Our faith is always personal, our struggles are always personal, our desires always personal.

We are all unique not only in physical sense but our genetic and psychological makeup as well. We laugh at different things, we cry at different things. We have our own unique set of triggers. We have our own unique set of fetishes. And in these differences we realize we are all the same.

It’s unity in diversity.

It’s knowing we are different from everyone thus understanding and respecting the differences of each. Conflicts and wars occur when we begin to assert that what and how we are is what and how the rest of the world should be. It is when you believe your version of the world should be the only version. Your version of the Truth is the only truth. When you stop respecting the uniqueness of one is when you start disrespecting the diversity of God’s creation.

For me, if you keep in mind the Golden Rule and put Respect on the top of your list, everything will fall into place.

Well, mostly.

Till next time.

And thank You Pika for inspiring me to write my own opinion regarding your thoughts.

If to correct you must humiliate; you don’t know how to teach.

I have said it already thousands times before:

Only those who have serious issues with self-confidence and self-worth and not happy with themselves have an urge to belittle others and stand on someone else’s back to look tall.

It is like being a king of fools.

If you feel smart among ignorant people, what are you then?

Adjust your way of interaction according to whom you are dealing with. No need to brandish your knowledge to those who are not in the same spectrum as you are and not in anyway capable of understanding whatever you wish per se to share so you can feel better about yourself. Talk to them as equals. Respect people’s limits. You have yours too.

Someone once said:

Do not humiliate people, shame is a lifetime lasting effect that can be nursed but can never be cured.

Remember the Golden Rule and you’ll be okay.

Playing A Role

“I am a conformist within reason. I was born with strong beliefs of family tradition as well as honoring the law. I also have a strong sense of respect for the people and places around me. I was taught that our social system was put into place for the better of the people. Well as you get older you realize that is not always the case. I guess you can say I am a hypocrite when it comes to being a Conformist. Although a lot of my traditions and beliefs are part of my foundation of who I am. My frame work some would say. My life experiences are the bricks of the walls as I build my life. It is those life experiences that make me second guess the Social order that is put in to place as for the greater good of the people. That is what makes me a conformist within reason.
I guess you can say I am a righteous nonviolent rebel. I dance to the beat of my own drum. I do not break any laws. But I live in a country that it is against the law to commit a violent crime. Although I live in a world that is rapidly changing I am trying very hard to stay true to my Values and traditions that make me who I am today. And for that I am not a conformist I am a rebel.”

― Bonnie Zackson Koury

A Good Lesson In Life

I will never be someone’s last choice, second option, narcissistic supply, doormat, ego booster, sidekick, secret, last time or after thought. I stand for truth. I know my beauty, my talents, my accomplishments, what I have to offer. But, most of all I know my value and I will never let any man define my worth. ― Shannon L. Alder

Wild Ducks Flying Backward

Perfume is a disguise. Since the middle ages, we have worn masks of fruit and flowers in order to conceal from ourselves the meaty essence of our humanity. We appreciate the sexual attractant of the rose, the ripeness of the orange, more than we honor our own ripe carnality.

Now today we want to perfume our cities, as well; to replace their stinging fumes of disturbed fossils’ sleep with the scent of gardens and orchards. Yet, humans are not bees any more than they are blossoms. If we must pull an olfactory hood over our urban environment, let it be of a different nature.

I want to travel on a train that smells like snowflakes.

I want to sip in cafes that smell like comets.

Under the pressure of my step, I want the streets to emit the precise odor of a diamond necklace.

I want the newspapers I read to smell like the violins left in pawnshops by weeping hobos on Christmas Eve.

I want to carry luggage that reeks of the neurons in Einstein’s brain.

I want a city’s gases to smell like the golden belly hairs of the gods.

And when I gaze at a televised picture of the moon, I want to detect, from a distance of 239,000 miles, the aroma of fresh mozzarella.

― Tom Robbins