The problem with theories as with just about every discipline or industry in the world is putting them into practice.
The problem with theories as with just about every discipline or industry in the world is putting them into practice.
My blog? Snippets of random thoughts, ideas, beliefs, opinions, views, hopes, dreams and fears. No chronological order, no labels, no category. Just pure feelings coming from the heart. It may be vague and irrational at times but always real, honest and true. This is me on a plate without embellishments and trimmings, take it or leave it. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I don’t know any other way. I can edit my words but not my thoughts and feelings. And even if I could I would not. What is the use of having a voice and your own corner if you can’t say what you want? It is like whispering in your own house, afraid somebody might hear you. No, I can’t do that. I will always adhere to common decency and approach each topic politically correct but I would not dilute my writings so it suits sensitive ears and weak minds. I will never apologize for being myself. I know the path to freedom is not the easiest path to traverse, I have been on it since day one. Lots of hurdles but I can’t go off course, that would mean lying to you and to myself. I would appreciate if you walk with me down this road but I would also understand if you can’t. Not everyone is cut out for this journey. I will always be grateful I have met you along the way. These random encounters taught me a lot about life. I will continue this expedition with an open mind and an open heart as always. Maybe we will meet again someday. Take care and see you around…
“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills,
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
Daily Prompt: Faint
… one of those dying virtues along with honesty integrity dignity devotion tolerance respect and so much more. In this world when partner and job hopping are considered fashionable and so many options to choose from, loyalty nowadays is as scarce as rain in Egypt and as elusive as anything when you want it. Based on what I see read and heard around, nobody is loyal to anything or anyone anymore. Except for pets (dogs) probably, but then again I don’t and will never know because I don’t have pets and if I would have it will not be a dog or cat but cute birds and (gold) fish, nothing larger. I’ve been devoted to my other whole for the last fifteen years. That’s the longest I’ve been faithful to someone. I hope he is the same but who knows. Anyway, it doesn’t keep me awake. He’s a big boy he knows what he wants. Let him have it. What about you, are you a loyal person?
I’m homesick for a home that hasn’t yet been built
That has no foundation
Except for the tears that I’ve spilled
A home where my dreams start to breathe
And my wild things can dance
And twirl in the wind
And believe in romance
My heart aches for a place that’s been only a whisper
A thought I haven’t had but can clearly remember…
— Deanne Tiffany
“I’ve still got a place for you in my heart, just not my life.”
The truth that I have come to believe is that any man who really wanted to be with me, wouldn’t be conflicted about it—he’d be all in.
Simply for the reason that I’m a woman worth being all in for.
But you never could quite decide what I was to you—and while I think you did know more than you pretended to—it doesn’t matter so much what we think or feel, it matters what we do.
And you never did a damn thing when it came to me.
The reality is—indecision can be a decision unto itself.
I used to become frustrated with you because I could tell there were no easy answers and that there was always more to our story-line than you ever let on.
I spent time wondering about everything that lay unsaid between us—but I don’t anymore.
Because I said all that I needed to, and whether you did or not isn’t something I need to spend time losing sleep over.
And the closure I sought from you—that never came—no longer haunts me, because I’ve accepted that loose ends are just part of who we are.
I’ve learned that sometimes there are no endings—and that’s okay because I know now that I can still find a new beginning.
I won’t sit here and disgrace our history or promise that my lips will never again touch yours because I will never assume that I know more than whatever divine force governs this world.
But the only thing I do know is that at this moment in time, you don’t want to be here in this place by my side with your arm around me—and so, I’ve decided to pursue things with someone who does.
You wanted me to move forward and move on, so I am—right into the arms of a man who doesn’t make me second-guess his interest and who doesn’t shut down when I ask difficult questions.
The thing is, I don’t really even know what we were because you could never find the words yourself.
And although you never asked me to be yours—you also never really closed the door on us completely.
But this time—as much as I care for and respect you—I cannot remain in this place any longer.
I can’t keep asking if you’re ready, to be honest and to address things like adults, only to be shut down once again.
My heart is tired—and a woman can only be pushed away so many times before she actually makes the choice to walk away.
The thing that hurt me the most was how you made it seem as if I coerced you against your will—acting as a siren, beckoning you to demise along my curvy coasts.
I was never your downfall, but perhaps I was your kryptonite because even Superman has a weakness.
I don’t know if you have ever admitted the truth to yourself or if lies still taste that much sweeter.
Because you are the artist in this masterpiece, and therefore you only see what you want to—or what you are comfortable with.
Regardless of our tangled loose ends—and no matter how many tears I may still shed over you—I can’t be an option for you when you decide you want to find yourself again.
I don’t expect you to care because you’ve made it clear that you already have moved on.
Yet I still have to wonder that if through all your bolstered convictions, you were trying to convince me or yourself more.
Although I know that I can no longer be one of your options, I don’t actually know how to do that—because somehow you’ve become a part of my heart without me even wanting you there, and so now it makes it difficult to discover how to exactly remove you.
All I know is that no one has ever brought me to my knees, simply by looking into my eyes, like you have.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring—all I know is that you can’t (or don’t) want to be here, and there is another man who does.
A man who I still can’t picture touching my body, simply because I haven’t yet been able to erase your name from my skin.
One of the saddest parts of all of this is that I know I had the same effect on you—it just wasn’t convenient or “supposed” to happen.
But our eyes don’t lie, even when our hearts try to.
And so, with every step I take away from you, I sometimes take two back.
You are the most delicious struggle to move on from, but I am trying.
So I travel a little bit further every day, until maybe someday I’ll get far enough away that I can convince myself neither of us felt anything.
And it won’t matter if it’s the truth or not because I know that with time we can convince ourselves of almost anything.
However, before I leave this place for good, you should know that I meant every word I’ve ever said to you.
Especially when I told you that I love you.
Because I know that no matter what has transpired, I will never regret telling you those beautifully simple words.
With each step I take, I send you my sweet succulent love, not knowing where my path will lead me.
It’s possible it will lead me into the arms of the man who’s been waiting for me to find him all along—or it might lead me right back to you.
Because the pain and confusion of leaving loose ends mean that you know quite well they’re still there, left untied and waiting, in case this time—you decide you really do want to tie it up, once and for all.
“Some things just need to be let go of. If it’s meant to be you’ll find each other again.”
Relephant: Via Kate Rose
The deeper you are, the harder it becomes for you to find someone who wants to have a relationship with you. You can go out on a lot of dates but at some point the relationship fails to progress any further and that is mainly because of the intensity of your depth. Not every man is strong enough to handle a deep woman. Here’s why:
1. A deep woman asks deep questions. A deep woman will probe further into your life and ask questions that you may not be prepared to answer. Even on the first date, she will dig deeper and ask personal and philosophical questions – she will never enjoy a shallow conversation.
2. A deep woman is honest. Too honest – often blunt. A deep woman takes her integrity seriously and one thing she believes in is honesty. If you ask her anything, she will tell you the truth and she expects the same from you.
3. A deep woman knows what she wants. Or who she wants. A deep woman knows right away if she likes you and doesn’t need to date around or explore her other options to be sure of her feelings. Her heart only beats for a special few people and she knows them right away.
4. A deep woman wants a deep relationship. She wants long conversations about your life, she wants to hear stories about your past, she wants to understand your pain and she wants to add value to your life. She wants a real relationship that goes beyond going out and having fun.
5. A deep woman is not afraid of intimacy. She is not afraid of getting closer or risking getting hurt in the process. She doesn’t think it will entrap her freedom or make her vulnerable. Her depth and intimacy go hand in hand and she will always cherish the beauty of intimacy in relationships.
6. A deep woman sees through you. She can see who you really are and what makes you vulnerable. She is not the one to hold back from pointing out what she sees in you or how well she can read you. Even though it makes you uncomfortable, she wants you to know that she understands you and that you can be yourself around her.
7. A deep woman craves consistency. She gets turned off by inconsistency or flaky behavior. She desires a strong connection and a solid bond and she knows that consistency is the foundation of that bond. A deep woman will not participate in the dating games.
8. A deep woman is intense. She may be slightly intimidating because she brings intensity to everything she does. Her emotions are intense and so are her thoughts. She will never be indifferent to things that matter to her – not everyone is strong enough to handle her intensity.
9. A deep woman only knows how to love deeply. If you can’t love her deeply, she will walk away. She doesn’t know how to casually date someone she’s really into or be friends with someone she has feelings for. A deep woman knows when someone can’t meet her halfway and she will slowly detach herself from anyone who is not willing to give her the deep love she is looking for.
10. A deep woman won’t wait for you. She will not wait for you to make up your mind or watch you be hesitant about her. She is strong and passionate and will not waste her emotions on someone who doesn’t appreciate their depth. Even though she is looking for a special kind of love, a deep woman is not afraid of being on her own.
I basically have two moods, either let’s do something spontaneous and awesome, or let’s just lay in bed all day and forget the world exists.
Intelligent people have fewer friends. The more real you are the fewer friends you have. Here’s why:
1. You’re liberated in your own speech, thoughts, and actions, which can be contrary to those of your “friends.” You have a strong mindset and values. Your mind isn’t limited and you always have something to say. You think differently to others but you’re not bothered by their opinions on it.
2. You don’t have time for forced fake catch-ups or pointless conversations, trying to keep up with what everyone is up to. So, you mostly spend time alone. You don’t care about the latest trends or latest music. You have no interest in materialistic things. You also don’t have FOMO (fear of missing out), so you’re quite content doing your own thing. Your world seems to flourish more on your own.
3. You can see beyond people’s “trying hard” persona so you distance yourself from people who aren’t worth your time. These people are what I like to call social climbers. They try to get involved with certain people for the sake of being popular or simply to look good (I have lost all faith in humanity).
4. You talk less and listen more so you find yourself sitting back observing the norms of today: The constant posting on social media, backstabbing, unloyal partners and disrespectful behaviour. It puts you off because you’re far more mature. You see more to life. You believe in radiating the energy you want to be around. You are humble and encouraging to all but you don’t put your time and trust into people who don’t deserve it.
5. You don’t get involved in drama. You don’t thrive off it like others do. Family is more important to you. You would rather watch an episode with your sister then go to a bar with the girls. The unnecessary drama that comes with a night out is exactly what you avoid because you know you’ll regret it when they instantly put you in a bad mood. You prefer doing things according to your own terms/will.
6. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. You’re happy with yourself. You’re independent and strong. You don’t rely on others. You can support yourself. You don’t need to wake up to 10 snapchats or 300 Instagram likes to be able to smile every morning. You’re grateful for the little things. You don’t feel the need to be accepted by anyone but yourself.
7. You have already worked out who your real friends are so you don’t feel the need to have any new ones. You are aware of who’s curious and who’s concerned. You are very cautious when letting people in your life unless someone throws your mind for a whirlwind and is as compatible as you. And by this I mean: thinks the same, express the same and has the same values. That’s the only time you let a new person in your life. But it still isn’t as easy as that. You still test them in situations to see if they really care about you as a person or if they just want to know your tricks of the trade.
8. You’re an old soul so you have visions for the future. You feel uncomfortable telling your dreams to small minded people. You work hard to achieve your goals and you don’t have time for setbacks. While others are trying to plan their night out at the club, you’re grinding. You see more than just going to a club, you see a life you want to chase. Your focus is different. Your time is being invested on growth. You don’t expect people to understand what you’re up to. Eventually, they’ll see.
9. People see you as a threat because you keep to yourself. Nevertheless, you have no fear in saying it straight or confronting someone when they’re out of line. You’re a force to be reckoned with. However, there are few that take you seriously and know how unique you are. These people are the ones you have time for and make effort with. You know what you bring to the table, and so this is why you’re not afraid to eat alone.
Words by: Natalie Villani
I met a girl today…I guess it’s best to call her a woman.
She doesn’t see herself the way she is, but I do.
As she journeyed her way up the mountain, solo, she wasn’t afraid to engage in conversation with strangers. How often people walk by with no exchange, but she acknowledges everyone around her, as if she sees everyone in her presence as a gift that she warmly accepts into her world.
She is observant and meticulous too. It’s rare that she crosses a boundary that doesn’t warrant crossing. She assesses, then takes a mindful step, even when it pushes her to the point of discomfort. And one might think it would stop there, but there is more:
Her laugh is full of joy. Her tears are filled with depth. Her words carry wisdom. Her presence holds space. But she can also do a total 180 and joyfully act like a kid, which shows you she is real. Oh…and I almost forgot to mention, she is smart. Crazy smart. She knows people and she knows business, giving her the character of a loving shark.
But what makes this amazingly beautiful, almost perfect individual not quite complete is that she cannot fully see herself. When she looks into a mirror, she only sees her exterior and quickly picks away at it. When she connects with another and falls deeply in love, she takes no credit. When she walks away from a life altering experience, she struggles to pause and take ownership of the fact that she herself was a part of the creation. She fails in the way that so many of us fail: to truly see and accept the beauty and gifts we all have within.
One day—and I feel that day is coming soon—she will see herself completely. She will accept that all the pieces of her are one whole so that she doesn’t have to live divided, leading her to easily fall apart.
One day, I will see all of this and know that there is no need to search outside myself because she has always been here inside of me.
~Via Cara Chandler
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential as if a job title and salary are the sole measures of human worth.
You will be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.
– Bill Watterson
Do people live in circles today? No. They live in boxes. They wake up every morning in a box of their bedrooms because a box next to them started making beeping noises to tell them it was time to get up. They eat their breakfast out of a box and then they throw that box away into another box. Then they leave the box where they live and get into another box with wheels and drive to work, which is just another big box broken into little cubicle boxes where a bunch of people spend their days sitting and staring at the computer boxes in front of them. When the day is over, everyone gets into the box with wheels again and goes home to the house boxes and spends the evening staring at the television boxes for entertainment. They get their music from a box, they get their food from a box, they keep their clothing in a box, they live their lives in a box. Break out of the box. This not the way humanity lived for thousands of years.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like a hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.
– Richard Gere
To the girl who needs to fall back in love with herself,
You’re going to be more than okay.
It’s very normal to abandon yourself in a toxic love in the effort to keep the relationship. And that’s usually when we start to fall out of love with ourselves. When this happens we hand over our whole self-worth and significance to another person, and before we know it our mood and happiness becomes entirely dependent on them.
When that relationship ends we don’t know how to live, let alone how to be happy without them. The truth is you’re going to be more than okay – there is so much light and happiness ahead if you chose to let go, and fall back in love with yourself.
Stop fighting the old.
Don’t try to understand why the person did what they did. You can spend years analyzing and still never know. Why they did it is not important. What’s important is the right now. The new.
Trying to fight the old is a battle you will never win because your wasting all your energy that you can be using to build the new, to innovate the life you actually want to live.
Refuse to entertain your old pain.
The pain I felt when my ex-betrayed me will always be a part of me because it shaped me and taught me much more than a happily ever after ever could.
Some love isn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one, but instead can give you new life, a life that has more love than you have ever seen. Understand that some love is meant to change your life rather than give you someone to grow old with.
Learn to let go.
You cannot move forward with your life with one foot on the brakes. Sometimes we don’t want to let go of our pain because it’s the only thing still attaching us to our ex – let go of your pain and you let go of our ex, sometimes we’re not ready for that.
I held on to the hurt for a long time. But the energy it took to hang on to the past was holding me back from living my life fully. When your heart is broken open, new light gets in. Embrace it.
I know that heartbreak feels like a stab wound to the heart, but understand that someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. Forgive them. Someone’s past, their demons, whatever the reason is, some people are not ready for love and happiness and will push you away.
Understand that they haven’t done the work to be ready and you cannot convince or inspire anyone to do the work, you are only responsible for yourself.
Love them from afar.
When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there. But when your mood became entirely dependent on them, it becomes a toxic relationship and you lose the love for yourself. Don’t be frustrated if you still love them, just be sure to love them from afar.
Understand your worth.
The first step to falling back in love with yourself is understanding what you are and are not willing to compromise on. Never abandon yourself in the effort to keep someone or something.
Don’t regret anything.
Mistakes are inevitable in a life worth living. As long as you learn from them, mistakes are very important. They teach you exactly what you want and who you want to be.
Maybe you fought with your ex too much, maybe you argued with them at inopportune times. But your anger was fueled by your passion and emotions for them. You cared. You loved them. Don’t regret it.
All that pain and frustration shaped you.
You cried, you laughed, you were alive, and that changed your life. All that pain produced understandings that have created a new level of living.
You now have a chance to be happier than you have ever been before – you can realize everything that is holding you back and create a life that you want to live.
Learn to love your edges.
You loved your ex’s edges, all their roughness. Their imperfections were perfect to you. Why can’t you do that for yourself? There’s nothing you loved more than holding their hand and whispering words of reassurance in their ear, because you knew they weren’t broken, they were just bent. Do that for yourself. Love those gory bits, grow into your own wrongness.
Crave more from yourself.
You confronted your ex a lot. You craved more from them – you had opinions and big dreams for the future, you wanted the best for them.
You never let them get away with slacking on their talents – do the same for yourself. There is a more extraordinary love out there that you would never know if it didn’t end it with the last one. But the extraordinary has to start with you – fall back in love with yourself and let everybody else come searching for you.
Words by: Anna Bashedly
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