It’s how I fill the time when nothing’s happening. Thinking too much, flirting with Melancholy.
Is it possible to feel sad all the time?
Someone said to me (a long time ago) that it’s okay for people to feel down once in a while but not all the time (note that this person only knows me online via my blog) as is the case with me. She said that all my articles tend to lean more on the dark side rather than on the sunny side of life. Always rain, no sunshine. Too heavy to consume and digest on a daily basis, she said.
If she means I’m pessimistic and negative, I disagree. I’m always positive to the point of I tend to see bad days as ordinary days and learned not only to dance in the rain but make the most of it.
A little bit of storm will never stop me on my way. I’m used to getting wet.
So, why my blog posts are mostly not everyone’s cup of tea?
Maybe that’s why.
I don’t find happy times worth mentioning. They are few and far between and what is happiness anyway? If you don’t feel like killing yourself today, are you happy? If you smile because something touches your heart, are you happy? If nothing out of the ordinary happens and life goes on the way it was, are you happy? If you had sex after three months or longer without and feel no different than yesterday, are you happy?
Whatever happiness is, I don’t do happy. No happily ever after in my fairy tales. I detest happily ever after, that’s why I don’t read chick-lit or light-hearted fictions. If you know already that whatever might happens in between those pages prior to the ending will nothing but a diversion because, in the end, they will ride into the sunset, why bother?
I find it a waste of time.
Besides, it doesn’t mirror the reality of life.
In reality, the story only begins when happily ever after has ended.
But yeah… As someone said:
“I strongly believe that we must tie our sanity around something (or someone). May it be your dog, a future event, past regrets, or current obligations. We must keep ourselves anchored so we don’t easily drift away into nothingness.”
To each his own.
Whatever floats your boat.
But pessimistic I am not.
But never negative.
I prefer to be called realistic.