Boundaries

It seems to me the fence separating us from who we are and who we can be is not a straight line, not erect, but something wavering and distant, a reflection of who we are and what we fear.

We were born to be free, to expand our horizons by going where we have never gone before, and not to hang out in the relative comfort and safety of the nest, the known. There is a place within us that is courageous beyond our human understanding; it yearns to explore beyond the boundaries of our daily life…

Weekly Photo Challenge

Quotes: Chloe Thurlow & Dennis Merritt Jones

The Future

“I don’t want to write depressing posts, but in order to do that I have to either lie or write fictions.”

~ ImpossibleBebong

As we wind down the course, let’s look forward to what’s next. You asked:

• Next month, I plan to . . .

… finally bite the bullet and honor my appointments with a neurologist, dermatologist some specialist otolaryngologists and orthodontist. The last time I have spoken with these people was when they hinted that I need to have few surgeries correcting my badly healed broken nose (which I didn’t know I have) resetting my jaw (apparently I have some problem there due to my cervical hernia – a cervical herniated disc is diagnosed when the inner core of a disc in the neck herniates, or leaks out of the disc, and presses on an adjacent nerve root) my hips also need some attention and a couple of my ribs. I have nasty skin tags that need to be removed courtesy of hormonal imbalance and according to them, I am due for another colonic irrigation. In other words nasty hydrotherapy.

• What does the remainder of 2015 hold for you?

I don’t know. Do you know? I mean what the future holds for you? I remember when I was studying for a job in the medical field or health sector or healthcare industry if you prefer, during one of those one-on-one talks with my mentor I mistakenly said something about not liking the course at all because it is very far from my interest and she asked me why I was doing it then and I told her about me wanting a sense/sort of security for the future because with a diploma in this field guarantee I can work anywhere and she said: “Future? What future? If tomorrow you run over by a car and die, where is your future?”

• I believe that my future looks . . .

For the die-hard optimists there among you, sorry to disappoint but I can only sum up my future in one word: bleak. How can I say otherwise? Look, I will be honest and say it straight and we will never talk about it again. Once and for all I will bare the facts so you understand. I have an auto-immune disease. One of its direct symptoms is RA. I have a cervical and lumbar hernia (Spinal disc herniation/slipped disc) I have an ulcer and IBS and experiencing signs of Apraxia and Agnosia, foggy brain if you like. The rest of the fairy tale you can read here. Specialists said between now and five years I will be in a wheelchair. I feel it will be sooner than that. So, tell me… how can I be optimistic?

• In the future, I could do without . . .

Pain.

• 5, 10, 20 years from now . . .

I will be surely dead.