“Roll out”

Transformers series are my favourite movies. They are fast moving, visually stunning and technically impressive. They are my guilty pleasures. Would you believe I’ve seen every each one of them three times! One: to get the overall idea  of the film since there is a lot going on it’s kind of hard to wrap your mind around it the first time. Second is for technical purposes, to study the action sequences especially the parts when they transformed. If I could watch it frame by frame I would. Third is to combine the first two to see the movie as a whole.   

 I watched them to be entertained and have some fun. I heard lots of people complaining about the dumb plot and poor dialogues and I thought: “C’mon people, you  don’t go to see Transformers expecting Shakespeare, do you?

My only problem with the film is there are people in there. I rather have that the movie is populated by just the robots. But then again it is a personal preference and has nothing to do with anything.

I don’t know what it is with me but the moment I hear the click-clack sounds when they transformed, I swoon. I find the action orgasmic. The scene where Bone crasher skates like a hockey player, zigzagging between cars is epic! And of course there is my biggest crush ever Optimus Prime, projecting a perfect endearing combination of alpha traits and vulnerability. With him I could almost forgive blue eyes. I believe him when he said: “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” What the heck, I believe everything that big heap of metal utter. I am not prone to crying, I don’t watch melodramatic romantic movies (except Some Kind Of Wonderful) like Bridget Jones Diary or any Richard Gere- Hugh grant affair but I cried watching Transformers.

In so many ways transformers is a sexist movie. We will not talk about Megan Fox and why she’s there because it is too obvious. But the fact that there are no female robots (okay there were in second installment – motorcycle Autobots Elita-1, Arcee, and Kromia, and the pretender Alice- but they are killed within seconds of the opening scene, except Alice of course. But who is she anyway? She pretends to be a woman but is she?) in any of the franchise bothers me sometime. If it is not for wonderfully delectable action sequences, I probably bear them a grudge.

But because Michael Bay loves to blow things up, I could (pretend to) overlook that mistake.

So, here it comes…

If I get to spend a day inside my favorite movie then I will be a female autobot. Having some kind of romantic interlude with their leader would be a dream part. I will not be one of those chicks who  let herself be rescued and dragged by the protagonist during the entire film, doing nothing but scream and moan. How many times I have watched action films and get irritated by the leading lady hiding behind something, trembling and occasionally shouting the principal character’s name often revealing her position which added to the tons of troubles he is already having and I thought:

“Oh, f-ck! Take a gun, a knife, a grenade, anything! But for Christ sakes, do something!”

No, I will not be beautifully passive spectator. I will be a bad ass rock ‘n roll chick. Every inch an equal of the leading character if not more. I will be a Lara Croft kind of transformer, leaving trails of broken bodies/hearts in my wake.

Decepticons here I come!!!

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