Windmills Of Your Mind

Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel
Never-ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain, or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that’s turning running rings around the moon

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!
Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own

Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving in a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble someone tosses in a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face

And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!
Keys that jingle in your pocket, words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly, was it something that you said?

Lovers walking along a shore and leave their footprints in the sand
Is the sound of distant drumming just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in a hallway and the fragment of a song
Half remembered names and faces, but to whom do they belong?

When you knew that it was over you were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning to the color of her hair!
Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel
Never-ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel
As the images unwind, like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind!

[source: LyricFind]


The Joker

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t want to rock the boat, the boat is f—ing rocked. ~ Joaquin Phoenix

Someone asked me if I have seen The Joker yet and I answered no. In my mind, the no is in reality never. I don’t like Joaquin Phoenix. I don’t like him because I love his brother. And compared to River Phoenix Joaquin not only pales but totally disappears. Not only in appearance but in talents. Why on earth he has to die? The brother I mean. It could have been Joaquin instead.

I know… I know… Cruel. But that is how I feel.

We all know he won the Oscar and the Bafta and the Golden Globe etc. etc. I am aware of his out of the box speeches but still, I am not convinced. I saw some of his performances (by accident if they play them on television I will watch him for a while to see what he got) but each time it reminds me of what he is lacking compared to his brother. He doesn’t have the looks of River, he doesn’t have the charisma, he doesn’t have the natural acting abilities, he doesn’t have the aura and he doesn’t have the talents. He could probably act (or otherwise he will not win all those awards) and he probably is okay as a person but still, I don’t like him. Watching him up there on the stage delivering his speech I thought: It could have been River. It could have been River accepting those awards and delivering those speeches because we all know how great an actor he was. A unique and promising talent that had been taken away so soon before it could flourish. What a waste! What a pity! Life is so unfair!

If River lives, there would probably never been a Joaquin (as an actor) He will forever be living in the shadow of his more talented brother. And I probably will not dislike him this much. But as it is, every time I see him, every time he won an award, I think of his dead brother and what could have been. Mea Culpa Joaquin, but you cannot hold a candle to River. Truly not.

Mr. Right

If someone would ask me which part in a movie I would like to play, that would be of Bathsheba Everdene, the heroine in Thomas Hardy’s Far From The Madding Crowd. And like Carey Mulligan, who insisted and got what she wanted, I would love Matthias Schoenaerts to play Gabriel Oak. Heck, I would play any part opposite him. Physically, the guy has everything I don’t fancy in a man but there is something about him that makes him so irresistible and he is a Belgian which makes him more accessible to me. Dream big right?

On the other hand, the storyline isn’t new to me. Move over Bathsheba, if you got three suitors vying for your attention, I once had five if not an entire basketball team.

But that was once upon a time.

Dreaming of Matthias Schoenaerts is what’s now left of my once technicolor life.

Still, dream big right?

And keep dreaming…



“Girls get screwed.
Not that kind of screwed, what I mean is, they’re always on the short end of things.

The way things work, how 
guys feel great, but make girls feel
cheap for doing
exactly what 
they beg for.

The way they get to play you, 
all the while claiming they 
love you and making you 
believe it’s 

The way it’s okay to gift their heart one day, a backhand the next, 
to move on to the apricot
when the peach blushes and bruises.

These things make me believe God’s a man after all.” 

― Ellen Hopkins, Crank


True Love

I thought Transformers will always be my favourite film and Optimus Prime will always be my ultimate crush and for the longest time it remained true, till I saw the thriller of Big Hero 6 and behold this inflatable white robot that resembles a snowman/big marshmallow; right there in the cinema amidst popcorn munching crowd I fell in love on the spot, head over heels.

The fact that he is somewhat naïve only strengthens the feelings I have for this Healthcare Companion. Goodbye Optimus Prime. I never meant for it to happen but c’est la vie. Not every day a girl get the chance of meeting a man who is somewhat naïve, opportunity of a lifetime, grab it with both hands.

Given his guileless, calm caring nature and the fact that you can deflate and deactivate him with this simple phrase:  “I am satisfied with my care” make him a desirable wife material if he happened to be a female. I think it’s every man’s ultimate dream, being able to send their wives inactive from time to time. Don’t you think so?

Anyhow, the thing that made me fall in love with this bot is the scene where almost deflated he rest on the stairs landing stroking the cat on his lap saying: “Hairy baby… Hairy baby.” In my twisted brain I remembered it as: “Hairy thing… Hairy ball.” Don’t ask me where I get that because I don’t know. I already said I have a deranged mind, have I?

Three of my favourite quotes from Baymax are:

“My hands are equipped with defibrillators. Clear!”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?”

“Does it hurt when I touch it?”

Imagine that… Does it hurt when I touch it… I long to say these words (and a lot more) to someone…

Bottom line is… who would not fall in love with this huggable plus-sized inflatable deuteragonist with no distinguish features? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say. And if your perception can go beyond the shell of appearance into the essence, then it must be true love.

Or not?


“Roll out”

Transformers series are my favourite movies. They are fast moving, visually stunning and technically impressive. They are my guilty pleasures. Would you believe I’ve seen every each one of them three times! One: to get the overall idea  of the film since there is a lot going on it’s kind of hard to wrap your mind around it the first time. Second is for technical purposes, to study the action sequences especially the parts when they transformed. If I could watch it frame by frame I would. Third is to combine the first two to see the movie as a whole.   

 I watched them to be entertained and have some fun. I heard lots of people complaining about the dumb plot and poor dialogues and I thought: “C’mon people, you  don’t go to see Transformers expecting Shakespeare, do you?

My only problem with the film is there are people in there. I rather have that the movie is populated by just the robots. But then again it is a personal preference and has nothing to do with anything.

I don’t know what it is with me but the moment I hear the click-clack sounds when they transformed, I swoon. I find the action orgasmic. The scene where Bone crasher skates like a hockey player, zigzagging between cars is epic! And of course there is my biggest crush ever Optimus Prime, projecting a perfect endearing combination of alpha traits and vulnerability. With him I could almost forgive blue eyes. I believe him when he said: “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” What the heck, I believe everything that big heap of metal utter. I am not prone to crying, I don’t watch melodramatic romantic movies (except Some Kind Of Wonderful) like Bridget Jones Diary or any Richard Gere- Hugh grant affair but I cried watching Transformers.

In so many ways transformers is a sexist movie. We will not talk about Megan Fox and why she’s there because it is too obvious. But the fact that there are no female robots (okay there were in second installment – motorcycle Autobots Elita-1, Arcee, and Kromia, and the pretender Alice- but they are killed within seconds of the opening scene, except Alice of course. But who is she anyway? She pretends to be a woman but is she?) in any of the franchise bothers me sometime. If it is not for wonderfully delectable action sequences, I probably bear them a grudge.

But because Michael Bay loves to blow things up, I could (pretend to) overlook that mistake.

So, here it comes…

If I get to spend a day inside my favorite movie then I will be a female autobot. Having some kind of romantic interlude with their leader would be a dream part. I will not be one of those chicks who  let herself be rescued and dragged by the protagonist during the entire film, doing nothing but scream and moan. How many times I have watched action films and get irritated by the leading lady hiding behind something, trembling and occasionally shouting the principal character’s name often revealing her position which added to the tons of troubles he is already having and I thought:

“Oh, f-ck! Take a gun, a knife, a grenade, anything! But for Christ sakes, do something!”

No, I will not be beautifully passive spectator. I will be a bad ass rock ‘n roll chick. Every inch an equal of the leading character if not more. I will be a Lara Croft kind of transformer, leaving trails of broken bodies/hearts in my wake.

Decepticons here I come!!!


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