Amnesia

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

Yes and No.

Yes I hold grudges when the offense is very personal, mean, premeditated, evil, repeatedly done without asking for forgiveness and the outcome is life changing and not for the best. 

I never forget. I am blessed/cursed with photographic memory and I am amazed to find out that after all these years words still have the power to hurt me.

Forgiving is depends upon the crime and how it is done. How can you forgive someone who says sorry for stepping on your toes but keep standing on them? How can You forgive people if they don’t ask forgiveness thinking it is their birthright to abuse you? How can you forgive someone when there is always something there to remind you of their cruel deed? How can you forgive your own blood for betraying you?

No. Some crimes don’t deserve forgiveness and some stay engraved in memory no matter how hard you try to forget them…

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36 thoughts on “Amnesia”

  1. I agree with this. I think that all of us make mistakes, but a calculated act of premeditated malice is hard to forgive. I know that I’m dealing with someone unforgivable when I hear the words: I’m only human.

    I’m only human means; yes I know that I hurt you and betrayed your trust, I’m only human so, no I’m not sorry.

    I think that most of us can sense when someone comes to us a sincere apology.

    But a vapid “I’m sorry” with no reference to the why, or any willingness to explain themselves is not a genuine apology. What they want is another shot at doing damage.

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      1. Exactly.

        Genuine apologies come accepting that one is not always going to be right, that there are no perfect people.

        Sometimes we screw up.

        That’s not the same as deciding to smear someone’s reputation because they’ve questioned your sense of entitlement. A decision to spread lies about someone is almost unforgivable.

        Deciding to act out psychopathic sexual impulses with a toddler is completely unforgivable.

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      2. I prefer to use the one where I just remove the offender from my life…

        I don’t think it’s possible to punish someone who has no shame and I’m loath to consider summary executions of everyone in the world who is shameless…

        Although if we did it would empty entire regions of what we call the Western world…:)

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      3. This comment made me smile. Especially the last part.
        I know that what I previously said is open for interpretation and can go anywhere depending on who’s viewing. In practice it can get even more complicated.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m only human is not an unforgivable sin. I screw up all the time and it’s because I’m human that I can not feel horrible all the time. Granted, there is a difference between someone hurting you and then mumbling “I’m sorry, but I’m only human”, and what I’m talking about which is something I mostly say to myself, or when the situation calls for it. For example, when my nephew broke something of my mothers he apologized and meant it – even tried to fix it (glue sticks don’t work on ceramic), she went insane. Yelling, screaming, and just making a ridiculous scene. I became angry and I told her to stop, she didn’t, I got more angry and I said “he’s only human! And a child!” She stopped yelling as much, but the grumbling and general complaining continued for another hour. She gets that way, she always has. And sometimes “I’m only human” is the only answer you have to a barrage of criticism and attacks over a lengthy period of time. Just my 2¢.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with you 100 percent. I think that children get a break because their version of being only human includes needing to build social skills that adults should already have on board.

        You wrote: ““I’m only human” is the only answer you have to a barrage of criticism and attacks over a lengthy period of time. Just my 2¢. ”

        I think that the people who need to apologize are the one who have launched the attack. In my opinion subjecting someone to a barrage of criticism and attacks that last over a lengthy period of time is psychological abuse.

        What you’ve described seems like torture to me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My parents used to beat us up for every little mistakes and for every word that was not to their liking. I don’t see it as abuse either. No one in our country. It is just part of tradition.

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      3. Well I wouldn’t say that what I went through was culturally accepted, but we got smacked too. Honestly, my entire extended family did. And adults could smack any child. None of us see it as abuse, we openly talk about it, and mostly remember with humor how bad we were

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    1. I appreciate enormously the gesture and I’m flattered beyond belief but I am afraid I have to decline. I don’t accept awards. I don’t believe in them and I find the procedure tedious.Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Forgive, not for them, but for yourself. Release it; they should hold no power over you, and won’t as long as you forgive. Do it for yourself. But NEVER forget. Don’t trust them again until they’ve proven themselves, don’t allow yourself to be hurt again. Let go of the past hurts by forgiving, but protect yourself from future hurts by remembering.

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      1. It does come naturally once you decide it’s what you’re going to do. Forgiveness is not an addiction, just wanting to can be enough to allow you to decide to.

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  3. I try to be a forgiving person, but as you state it is an extremely hard en-devour if the act is sever. But I would rather forgive than hold onto the resentment. Though there are times where something happens and I decide to just simply cut ties and never look back.

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  4. I agree as I am quite the same. Forgiveness is the most difficult part, but sometimes you just simply can’t do it. Some things aren’t meant to be forgiven or forgotten. Maybe I’ll reassess them on my death bed😊

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