Letting Go

Last night (because it was raining the whole day with fairly strong wind and I could not go outside to walk) I decided to sort out my dressing and get rid of those items I didn’t wear for the last fifteen years. It was long overdue but it’s hard to say goodbye. What is harder is to accept the fact that I can’t get into those clothes anymore. I have gotten used to wearing the same outfits year after year with no problem at all but for the last three years, it gradually becomes a different story. I thought I was going to keep this, I will hold on to that in case I lose weight, and from there I accumulated tons of clothes I no longer needed.

But days becomes weeks and weeks turned to months and months rolled into years and still the excess weight stubbornly clings to my body in spite of my effort trying to lose it. Last year I gave up. No, I did not suddenly binge on anything in particular but I stop altering my diet, which on its own is pretty healthy already for I favor seafood rather than meat and I never had a sweet tooth to begin with and I grew up eating unprocessed food so, I still prefer them over anything that doesn’t look real. No, the problems I think lies in aging and changing hormones and there is not much I can do about that. Not that I gained a massive amount of weight since then. In fifteen years I accumulate ten kilos extra, not much you would say and I know that but accepting a sudden turn and twist in your familiar existence is much harder to digest than I expected especially if it brings certain obstacles and inconveniences like buying a whole new wardrobe. 

Speaking of wardrobes, I empty mine of five huge black bin bags full of clothes I hardly wear some of them still have tags attached. And that was only the beginning. Last year I got rid of more than that, shoes in particular. I still have a lot to say goodbye to but__ ever heard of emotional value? Yeah, good excuse to hoard I know but I am also sure that all of us are guilty of this particular sin, no use denying it.

My plan is to have a capsule wardrobe, easier said than done I know but I must have some goal if I ever want to succeed in minimalizing my closet_ consists of top-quality, long-lasting pieces brought together by intentional purchases rather than fast-fashion shopping. Clothes that fit my body and lifestyle right now instead of some fantasy image I have in my head of how I was and how I wanted to be. I also plan to shop age-appropriate items from now on. Still my style but upgraded to a more mature version, and I will supplement good timeless basics with some frivolities to stay true to myself and to keep my outfits from being bland and boring. I see it as accents, focal points, feature walls of a well-designed space.

I still have a lot to do but the project is already set in motion and the hardest part is almost over so crossing my toes and fingers here and hoping I have enough courage and perseverance to see this whole thing through.

Wish me luck!