It’s that time of year again… Hello December.
Food For Thoughts
I’ve read this somewhere:
Family annihilation is not a crime that can be attributed to social exclusion or poverty most commonly it occurs among the affluent upper middle classes this is because of the need to keep up appearances, to present an image of perfect family life, happiness, success. And the higher socio-economic echelons, image matters more, people want to be the envy of their friends, so they put on a front. And sometimes, when the more complicated and painful reality of life intrudes_
_ and right away I thought of social media and the fact that its influence doesn’t necessarily centered on affluent, rich, or upper/middle class family but people from all walks of life especially at this time and age where everyone has an access to internet. In the case of less fortunate, painful reality of life doesn’t intrudes but a constant companion turning to social media and creating a fantasy image becomes a form of escapes.
If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets.
And…
If wishes were fishes and cattle were kings, the world would be full of wonderful things
Meaning…
If wishes were instantly granted, we’d all swim in riches
So…
If wishes were horses then beggars would ride,
If turnips were swords I’d have one by my side.
If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ were pots and pans
There would be no need for tinker’s hands!
Basically the point is wishes are useless. Or more simply: “Shut up and work harder.” It’s that simple.
September Rhymes With Remember
… of the birthdays you will never celebrate or no longer part of
…the life of the people you once knew and still think of
…what could have been if things and circumstances were different and
…of other memories you could have been making but now are just a part of
…wishful thinking.
It is September again.
The lone wolf: 10 powerful traits of a sigma female
by Paul Brian
It takes all kinds of kinds to make this world go around.
But one of the most misunderstood kinds of people is the sigma female.
The sigma female is a lone wolf and a rebel.
She doesn’t take orders from anybody and she dreams bigger than the sky.
16 powerful traits of a sigma female
1) She’s a charismatic, natural-born leader
One of the most powerful traits of a sigma female is her charisma and confidence.
She is the strong silent type, but everyone is drawn to her.
She may not always be the outward leader of a group, but she is who people turn to when times get tough and answers are needed.
The sigma female gets respect as soon as she walks in the room. She has people’s attention as soon as she speaks.
Her friends and family look up to her and she attracts high-quality partners in her personal life.
The sigma female isn’t one for drama and loud attention-getting antics, but she’s a low-key leader who others love and respect.
Sigmas are queens, but they’re not drama queens.
They naturally lead the pack in their own quiet way, and they can become trendsetters without even trying.
Their general desire, however, is to avoid the limelight and do their own thing.
2) High levels of self-sufficiency
Another one of the powerful traits of a sigma female is her self-sufficiency.
She can work well with others, but she never depends fully on others or surrenders her agency and free will.
If you want to work with her she is welcoming and enthusiastic, but she will not cling to dependency and weakness in any scenario.
Whether it’s work-life or her personal relationships and friendships, the sigma female does not require somebody else to make her dreams work.
She will work hard solo and do whatever it takes to succeed.
She loves to socialize, but she will be absolutely fine spending long periods on her own honing her skills and setting herself up for a bright future.
As Wise Thinker says:
“It’s not that a sigma female lacks social skills. She just prefers to be alone instead of in social circles.
But that doesn’t make her any less popular.”
The sigma female blazes her own trail and gets things done.
She’s sociable, but she’s not really into chit-chat or random get-togethers and fun times that are just goofing around.
3) Nobody pushes her around
The sigma female is a winner. Even when she loses it’s just a lesson and an obstacle that makes her stronger in the long run.
Nobody pushes her around and nobody tells her what she’s worth or what her abilities are.
She defines her boundaries and pushes the limits to the absolute maximum to achieve her dreams.
If you try to put her down, demote her or insult her, she surges past you in a cloud of dust and quietly leaves you behind in your bitterness.
The sigma female isn’t here for the drama: she’s here for the results.
And results are what she gets:
Hustling consistently for health in her financial life, love life, family life, work-life, and spirituality.
She’s not going to take second best and she’s not going to let anyone – even her closest friend – tell her when enough is enough.
She’ll decide that.
Not being pushed around is a surefire sign of a sigma female. But what else makes you unique and exceptional?
4) The sigma female looks for answers, not excuses
The sigma female is something of an introverted alpha. She looks for answers, not excuses.
Even when life is hard, she’s on the job and being as steadfast as possible in pursuing her goals and standing by her core values.
In a world of excuses and almost good enough, the sigma female is quietly working at her life and goals behind the scenes.
She’s creating, innovating, and relentlessly invested in her life and the lives of those she cares about.
The sigma female is a conundrum and a mystery, but she’s a beautiful mystery.
While she may appear cold or detached on the surface, there’s a fiery core burning inside which drives her to new heights and self-achievement.
5) She’s loyal and doesn’t let friends down
If you’re looking for the most powerful traits of a sigma female then look no further than her intense loyalty.
This woman absolutely has your back if she says she does.
She will always come through and be behind you through thick and thin, and temporary fights or disappointments will never be enough to sour and sabotage the bond you have with her.
The sigma female is someone others trust and turn to in their hardest times, as I was saying.
For this reason, she is often the “rock” of a friend group and those who others rely on and trust when they are in their darkest hour.
As Brandon Gaille writes:
“A sigma female will never forget what someone has done for them and will always be ready to repay a debt to someone to whom they are close.
“Getting close to a sigma female means you will have an ally by your side who is always going to be there to stand for you.”
6) She’s independent and strong
The sigma female isn’t a loner with a chip on her shoulder.
She’s a woman who makes the conscious choice to be independent and who has the strength and fortitude to stay the course and follow her dreams.
Whether she’s at work wowing clients and earning the respect and admiration of her colleagues or at home raising children and making a home, the sigma female is an icon for all of us.
She knows how to handle her own shit so that she can give back to others, and never leans on someone else to give her the answers or the resources to get a job done.
The sigma female is often the breadwinner for a family or a couple, but she can also be even more effective behind the scenes, organizing and arranging things so that those who come to her are taken care of and cared for.
7) She never settles in a relationship
When it comes to relationships, the sigma female can be picky but she’s never a victim.
She won’t go for a guy she doesn’t want to be with, and if a relationship starts infringing on her freedom and goals she will drop it.
It’s not that she can’t take hard times or disagreements: she absolutely can.
It’s just that she doesn’t enjoy wasting time on something that’s going nowhere or sapping her energy and focus for the sake of drama,
A sigma female wants to be with an equally strong and confident man. And she knows exactly how to empower him to be one.
The hero instinct is a new concept in relationship psychology and is right up her ally.
Men have a biological urge to step up for women and earn her respect in return. It’s hardwired into them.
I know it sounds kind of silly. A sigma female doesn’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like one.
The few women who actually realize that can gain a lot of strength and power in the way they approach their relationships.
8) Her personality is fascinating and mysterious
The personality of a sigma woman is far from average.
She usually has a killer sense of humor, sharp wit, empathetic nature, and high emotional intelligence.
Her downsides are that she can come across as closed off or aloof to those around her, but once you get past the surface you’ll find it’s often not the case.
The sigma woman is like an enigma that attracts some and frustrates others.
It can take time and patience to “crack her shell,” but once she lets you in there is a world of possibility and discoveries awaiting.
The sigma female attracts others because she is not easy to read, but she’s always genuine.
She will tend to attract people who open up to her and are interested in her opinions and judgment.
As the author Madeline Miller writes:
“The world was made of mysteries, and I was only another riddle among the millions.
“I did not answer him, and though he pretended frustration, I began to see that it pleased him in some strange way.
“A door that did not open at his knock was a novelty in its own right, and a kind of relief as well. All the world confessed to him. He confessed to me.”
9) She has high standards for finding a mate
The sigma female has high standards in a mate.
As I mentioned, she never settles in relationships and she leaves the ones that aren’t working for her or meeting her needs.
She won’t cripple herself emotionally, financially, or in any way just to make someone else happy or live up to his standards.
And when it comes to finding a guy, the sigma female will bide her time.
If she has to stay single for five years to finally meet the man who will truly fulfill her dreams, then she’ll do exactly that.
She does care about looks, lifestyle, and social status, generally, because she understands that these are outer signs of a man’s inner progress.
This is not to say that no outwardly unsuccessful or plain-dressing man ever had anything to him, but the sigma female does always want the best – and that does include external accomplishment.
The part that’s a bit complicated is that it’s not so much what others think of someone that sways a sigma, it’s what she thinks of him.
This is often equally based on the effort he’s putting in and challenges he’s overcoming than to a static assessment of status.
10) She doesn’t conform to pop culture
Sigma females march to the beat of their own drums, and that includes their taste in film, music, food, and literature.
One of the most powerful traits of a sigma female is that she thinks for herself and loves what she loves regardless of popularity.
She can take a joke, but she won’t ultimately bend and change just to fit the current trends.
This is a very strong trait that carries over into every area of the sigma female’s life.
It also means she’s a great person to go to if you’re looking for unique recommendations about what to read, watch or play in terms of video games, for example.
The sigma female is an iconoclast who loves what she loves and doesn’t tailor it to fit anyone else’s demands.
11) She means what she says
The sigma woman doesn’t talk frivolously.
If she says something then you can bet your bottom dollar that she means it.
This increases the amount that people trust her and makes her respected in her job and personal life.
These days there’s so much talk out there on social media, in texting, and in our popular culture.
The fact that the sigma woman doesn’t bother with all this junk makes her a breath of fresh air to those around her.
It also means that if you do any business with her or make an agreement she will do her level best to stick by it and see it through.
The sigma woman builds trust and respect wherever she goes because of her practice of speaking truthfully as much as possible.
12) If you double-cross her she’ll pay you back
One of the top powerful traits of a sigma female is her toughness.
If you double-cross her you’ll most likely live to regret it.
The sigma female is not a vengeful or petty person. She doesn’t hold grudges or gravitate to drama.
But if you cheat her in business and romance you will pay for it.
She’ll make sure you pay for what you did by giving you an earful or making you repay for the damage you did.
In practical situations such as disagreements or conflicts, this also means the sigma female doesn’t let herself get pushed around.
If her car gets dinged by a driver she will calmly and firmly ask for the proper paperwork to get the insurance to cover it.
If her boss or someone in authority is being irresponsible or stupid she will call him or her out.
It’s just who she is and the code she lives by.
13) She adapts to change without too much drama
Change can be hard for all of us at times, including the sigma female.
Setbacks and changes are just a fact of life, and she knows that. She embraces this as much as possible and adapts rapidly.
Because the sigma female is oriented toward her own values and priorities, she doesn’t tend to be as dependent on outer circumstances.
Even if a job or a relationship goes south, she finds a way to roll with the punches and come back from it.
She makes moves that are necessary to move on and do her best with the situation she’s handed.
The sigma female is a lone wolf who heads into unknown territory bravely and energetically.
She never sits back and lets life come to her, she goes out and finds it herself.
So when change inevitably arrives, she moves with it instead of against it.
14) She doesn’t judge others without knowing them
We live in a day and age when we’re basically surrounded by rumors and chit-chat 24/7.
Social media, TV, and our fast-paced news cycle encourages an addiction to drama and judgment.
“How dare he do that,” and “she is such a bitch” are things you could hear any given day about a celebrity, politician, or person.
But the sigma female doesn’t have an interest in these pile-ons and judging people she doesn’t know well.
Even if someone is a truly toxic loser, she won’t throw them under the bus just based on their reputation.
The sigma female really has to know someone and see them in action for her to judge them in any significant way.
She’s not interested in second-hand reputation and deciding who somebody is without finding out for herself.
This makes her a very good judge of character because the sigma female only judges those she knows and has seen up close and in action.
15) She embraces risk and adventure
As someone who adapts quickly to change and rolls with the punches, the sigma female embraces adventure.
She takes risks when necessary and knows that you have to go out on a limb sometimes to see really sizable rewards.
If this means moving to a new city or taking a chance on love then she’ll do it.
She’s far from reckless, but she is brave.
The sigma female has a clear set of goals and priorities and she sticks to them.
She adapts to the outer needs and changes as they come and makes big moves when she deems it necessary.
“Once you are convinced that the cost of the status quo is too high to sustain and the reasonably expected gains are too great to ignore, then ask yourself how you could scrape together what is needed and start moving forward.
“This question opens your eyes to resources you may have forgotten about or not thought of earlier when your mind was focused on potential losses.”
16) She hates gossip and baseless rumors
In addition to avoiding judging others unless she knows them, the sigma female hates gossip and baseless rumors.
For one thing, she just doesn’t see the point. What do they accomplish but wasted time and bitterness?
For another thing, gossip and rumors just aren’t fun for the sigma female.
She enjoys her time alone, working on projects or spending time with one or two close friends.
Concerning herself with the supposed actions and controversies of other people is just not worth it for her.
The sigma female enigma
Sigma females can be a bit of an enigma to people around them.
They can sometimes be mistaken for an alpha female who is just unique and doesn’t talk as much.
The truth is that sigma females and sigma males are one of the rarest personality types.
It can be harder for them to meet the right person romantically and find their place in the world, but when they do then the world had better watch out.
Because they are competent, self-sufficient, and determined!
A sigma female is a special breed:
A sigma woman is self-sufficient and does her own thing.
She is like an introverted alpha, even though some of her close friends might be extroverts.
I Just Wanted To Tell You
“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Yesterday I found out via FB that the youngest brother of my late mother died. Away from the family in a foreign part of the country. He was just two years older than me and as old as my sister Maricor whom I’ve never seen since I was 15 years old. She ran away and never came back.
I’ve met my uncle only on three occasions but those meetings had a huge impact not only on both of our personal lives (though I did not realize it then) but on the lives of all people concerned. I will cite misunderstanding as the main reason for the drama. Misunderstanding from all sides and the mistake never been rectified. Partly because I never have the urge to depend. He never (as far as I remember) find it necessary to either admit or deny,. Largely because we I guess both know that nobody will believe. So, the myth still lives and will be a continue reminder to future generation never to walk the same path.
The first time I’ve met him was at the funeral of my grandfather. I was seven years old, he was nine. We travel far to attend the occasion. We lived in the middle of nowhere remember? And my father will never be good enough to the eyes of my maternal relatives. Too poor and too uneducated to be fully accepted.
I don’t remember much about that time. All I can recall was the saw dust that covered almost everything on sight.
The second time we met, I was already in junior high school and studying in the capital while working as a house sitter to pay my tuition. He used to visit me and put me on the front of his bike and we drove around in the rain while he was singing Nothing Gonna Change My Love For You by Glen Medeiros. I enjoyed his company. He was sweet to me. He said my mother was his favorite sister therefore I was his favorite niece.
I did not know when and where the rumor start but it happened, and I did not understand how and why. I still don’t.
Okay, I was the only one who could make him tear apart from the gambling table. I did not even have to do or say anything, my presence was enough. He skipped work just to be with me and only going to wake up if I was the one who woke him up. He bought me coke and hamburger whenever he came home late from work and watched me ate them. He guarded the door of the public toilet in their block so I can take a bath safely he said. They say he was a drunkard but I never seen him drunk. Likewise with drugs. If he was a user, I never seen an indication of it. To me, he was just a pleasant person. Easy to get along with. Friendly and cool.
He avoided being in the same room/house with me alone. He said it gets warm when I’m around. He told me he will tell me something important one day. He refused to elaborate. He said it was not the time nor the place.
That his mother threw us out in the middle of the night I don’t understand. We came home from strolling around the neighborhood and the next thing I knew our clothes were flying everywhere. My uncle while picking up the mess said to his mother and everyone that nowhere in the bible stated that it is a sin to fall in love with a family member. In fact, he said, if those holy men didn’t sleep with their mothers, daughters and sisters, we will not be here at all. I failed to grasp the meaning of what he said that time. I was too young and too naïve. And____
For the record, my uncle never touch me maliciously or indicate something of that kind. He never show or hint anything untoward to my person. Never. That’s why I can’t understand why years later, I was already married and living abroad, he was working overseas, he sent me letters after letters, professing his undying love for me. On one occasion, he even tried to convince me to elope with him somewhere nobody knows us. I declined. I told him I don’t feel that way for him and besides, we carry the same family name.
He never married.
The last time I saw him was when I was processing my papers to join my then husband here in Europe. He helped me to queue for the necessary papers. We said goodbye at the airport and I never laid eyes on him again.
Now he is dead and the truth died with him. So be it.
I Am Here
I know I’ve been away for so long which is uncharacteristically me. Before when I went away even for a short period of time I scheduled some of my work to be posted in specific time so my readers will not feel abandoned. But C-thing happened (I don’t want to make it as an excuse but—) to all of us and I don’t have to tell you how it affected all people globally from all walks of life and if you read me before you know already that I have issues with my declining health and the consequences of it. But resilient person as I am I bounced back and here I am, alive but not yet kicking but courageously and stubbornly fighting.
With the C- thing going on and travelling become an ordeal instead of something to look forward to, my partner and I decided to realized our lifelong dream to own a mobile home/camper. We ordered it! It will take sometime before it is in our hands but at least it will sure be there. It will be more suited to my needs in the way of we will have our own time as opposed to a package tour which you have to abide to the rules of the hotels in regards to waking up, dining and such. The knife cuts both ways I understand but at this stage in our lives a camper is a synonym for freedom.
I will keep you posted as we go along and I will provide links to our future FB page and YT channel I am planning to make to document our progress as wannabe nomads. I hope you can accompany us through our journey.
Till then and keep safe people!
The Only Thing That Keeps Us afloat.
Today the tender buds of hope, tomorrow blossoms.
Living A Thousand Lives
What if it’s the there
and not the here
that I long for?
The wander
and not the wait,
the magic
in the lost feet
stumbling down
the faraway street…
― Tyler Knott Gregson
The Halo Effect
It’s when you do the things you know are right for your body, mind, and spirit, and in doing so you begin to exude this powerfully beautiful and enticing energy others can’t get enough of.
Hope Is The Thing With Feathers
“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –
I’ve heard it in the chilliest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.
– BY EMILY DICKINSON
Paper Tigers
Amelia Earhart said:
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
I agree with the first step/plunge is the hardest to take. Once you are airborne/on the move, there is no turning back unless of course you are a bonafide coward. With the plunge, you have no other choice but to swim or sink. There you go.
However, I don’t agree with fears being paper tigers. Some fears are grounded and born out of survival instinct. You know… gut feelings which are in most cases accurate. We know when we are in mortal danger; we somehow sense it. So, if you are afraid, better check that before you run, you know what it is you are running from. But never, ever ignore your fears. Most of the time it will save your skin and keep you out of trouble. Feeling afraid is healthy. It means your senses are working. There are irrational fears of course (perhaps that was Amelia was talking about) I know a lot about it being born paranoid from a dysfunctional family having more baggage than I could carry and being served since day one with traumas; yes sir! I know a lot about irrational fears.
But those are real too for the sufferers. Crippling and suffocating as well. But mind you, it takes courage to live with those. Not so many could function with them as companions. Only the brave survived.
I don’t know about the procedure, the process being its own reward. The process are more difficult, more challenging, more deadly than the outcome. It is not the same as the journey is better than the destination.
The doing is often more important than the outcome. The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.
Lessons yes, reward no. When it comes to irrational fears, coming to the light after journeying through deepest darkest tunnels of your mind is more rewarding than the process getting out of there. Believe you me.
How about you?
Any fears? (Of course we all have) Irrational or otherwise?
Brave enough to talk about it?
LET THE FLAMES BEGIN!
Sometimes the perfect man is not the one you fall in love with. Sometimes he is the match instead of the flame.
MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO 
You must be logged in to post a comment.