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To The Guy Who Thought That I wasn’t Good Enough…

Thank you you for making me feel that I wasn’t someone worth fighting for. Thank you for making me question and doubt every little thing about myself. Thank you for making me second guess my actions. Thank you for making me feel unimportant and a nuisance in your life.

Thank you for letting me down countless times. Thank you for keeping secrets that everyone knew but me. Thank you for constantly lying about who you really are. Thank you for making a big fool out of me.

Thank you for bringing out my worst side.

Thank you for showing me that you can change for the better for someone else but you can’t for me.

Thank you for leaving even if I give you everything I had. Thank you for letting go and reminding me that I was the only one holding on.

Thank you for all the times you made me feel bad. Thank you for making me regret all the years I spent loving you.

Because if you hadn’t done all these things, I wouldn’t realize my worth. I wouldn’t realize that I should finally stop settling for any less than I deserve. I wouldn’t realize that I want to find a love that would never make me feel the same things you did.

And I know I will, eventually. I will find someone who appreciates everything I do. I will find someone who will never take me for granted. I will find someone who will treat me the way I should be treated.

I will find someone who will do everything you wouldn’t.

For now, knowing that is enough. I am enough. I know I am, even if you didn’t.

Words by: Micaela Andres

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Dear Self

Write a letter to your 14-year-old self. Tomorrow, write a letter to yourself in 20 years.

Dear Fourteen year old me,

In three years from now, someone will force you to marry somebody you don’t even like. Don’t listen. Don’t obey. Even it means being disowned. Runaway, follow your dreams, walk your own path and don’t look back. It’s not worth it.

P.S.

I don’t want to wait another day to write to a twenty year old you so I’m including the message here. Divorce that jerk or otherwise you’re in for a long nightmare. Forget your family because they will not value your hard work and will never appreciate all the sacrifices you made for them. You’re nothing but a meal ticket to these people. They don’t care. All they want from you is money. Nothing else. Think about your own future because one day you will get awfully sick and you will find yourself alone. You need to take care of yourself. Start now. And be strong.

Always.

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Green-Eyed Monster

We have been ask to write an anonymous letter to someone we’re jealous of. Here’s mine.

Dear Youth,

Look at you, acting as if there is no tomorrow, as if you own the world. With your  perfect appearance, freshness, vigor, spirit, etc., you think you’re immortal and can handle it all. Well, I have some news for you; you’re not going to live forever.

But before you reach where I am now, you will lost first everything you value at this moment. You think it’s okay to be rude to old people? Wait till you are in that phase of life you will see… those toned abs and legs you are very proud of, the unlined face and perky breast and shining eyes… it will not stay with you indefinitely.

So, don’t be so smug if you see us trying to get up our seat moaning and grumbling, or trying to walk erect and dignified. Don’t laugh at us “has been”  for you will get there eventually and let’s see if you like being laugh at.

You think you know it all, that we are suffering from early onset of Alzheimer if we try to say something to make you understand. You have no patience, no respect, no compassion. We are your future. When you look at us you are looking at your destiny. Doesn’t matter how beautiful, rich and powerful you are at this moment; you will be like us, there is no escaping that. Bear that in mind next time we see each other again.

Sincerely,

A shadow of your former self

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Dearest

Dearest,

I do not know what to say….lately it seems we do not have much time for each other. I believe it is my fault as much as yours or perhaps circumstances have also a hand in the matter. What I’m trying to say is that I miss you greatly. I want to feel connected to you. I hate to think that our relationship might already be showing flaws here and there at this early stage. If that is the case, how would it be after a couple of years? I don’t dare to imagine!

You could perhaps understand my concern regarding this matter if like me, you also allowed yourself to dwell in the future from time to time. Perhaps it is my restless nature that always brings me to this idea. Indeed you are probably right when you mentioned about my familiarity to a certain situation which makes me worrisome. Dare I say I’m scared? I’ve been told before that if certain things keep happening for so long, you kind of expect it.

Why must I feel afraid always? Why I cannot be just like the most of us? Must I always believe that I am no worthy of any love, or kindness? Not even compassion? How I long to be ordinary for those are the most happy of beings.

Was I born in a certain era, I am truly convinced that they would burn me at the stake by just being different. Truly as you have witnessed dozens of times already that indeed I have this gift (or curse) of foretelling and I do possessed uncommon behaviour, which only once witnessed in  asylums. As if that is not enough, it seems that I was born in the wrong family as well. But that notion I don’t wish to further entertain and if I could I want to forget about it altogether. Ah,the kind of thoughts I’m having in my head sometimes!

Dearest, I don’t know if I will ever feel worthy of you for you are such a fine example of a perfect gentleman. Though you have your shortcomings and weaknesses like any man and from time to time you inclined to test my patience but it does not make you none the less capable and attractive in my eyes.

I for one will always think of you as sweet and forever hold you in highest regards against your contemporaries whom I cannot find a single decent word in my limited vocabulary to describe their general conduct, so I am confined to be silent about it.

I would like very much to believe that I am indeed lucky that you bestowed upon me your undivided attention and lavish me with all the comforts you can afford. How I wish I could be certain about your devotion as well. Though you never give me reasons to think otherwise and yet still I get this ungrounded feeling from time to time that you might…perhaps…oh, it is my doubtful nature again which always make me ill to the core of my bones.

Even though it is surely nothing but just some fragments of my imagination, to me it is real enough to keep me from being merry and robbing me of my night rest. For I am truly certain that one of these glorious days, you will wake up and find me a tiresome nobody not worth a backward glance, and you will discover the truth I keep telling you that I am truly not wonderful nor special and there are some fine young lasses out there who are more suited to you and your needs.

Am I out of my mind? Perhaps! Am I fortunate? No doubt! For I am aware that so many maiden will give their treasured belongings and indeed their virtues just to imagine themselves in my position. And that Sir, I am certain!

So, do forgive me from time to time if I am being silly and not agreeable for it is only my nerves which I am sure would settle the moment I carry your name.

 

Will remain your affectionate,

Wife-to-be

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To Whom It May Concern

I opened a book I recently purchased from a charity shop.  A piece of paper fluttered to the floor. I picked it up and started reading. It says:

I’ll be back. I don’t know how long it will take but I will. And if our love is strong enough, I will find you there waiting for me. 

I closed the book. I don’t know what to think.

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the note

“Bedroom isn’t the right place to explore with him, unless… you’re very, very desperate… I’m leaving today. I can’t take it anymore. Sorry mother.”

I folded the small paper that was stuck under my shoe. Found it accidentally when I crossed my legs to lessen the cramp I was feeling sitting on a train for quite some time.  How long it had been there? Where I had steeped on it? I looked around; everyone was busy with their business. Nobody noticed. I gazed outside the window.

The train stopped. I reached my destination. I left the note folded on the table.

I could have written it. I muttered to myself.

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