There are lots of real reasons to decide to leave something or someone, but there are lots of other reasons that are less valid and less real and less about a relationship than our own minds: Fear (of screwing up, of being left, of not being good enough), restlessness, resistance to growing up, PMS, not knowing how to live without drama, fearing that you’re getting happy, and happiness is boring.
The thing that scared me the most was the knowledge that if I stayed, something was going to change and that something was probably me. I didn’t know what changed me would look like, or if I would like him more or less than I already did. Would I still recognize myself? Would I still be myself? ―
2 thoughts on “Happiness Is Boring”
I’m not sure what to say about happiness, since I find it as exciting as it is infrequent. But the fear of change, as in an uncomplementary change of self while in and because of a relationship, that concern is relevant and exigent. In a good relationship, I imagine change happens to both persons; and it is reasonable and real. But one-sided change that is more likely a matter only of accommodation, that might not be so savory. It’s certainly worth examining.
Change is inevitable. People evolved and so does circumstances. The priorities and preferences go with the cycle. Those factors affect relationships in so many ways. Some folks grow ups, others don’t. I am a passionate person. I need ever changing horizons in order to function. If I’ve met my current husband earlier in life, the union would never had a chance. He is so docile and predictable. But since I have no choice but to settle down, we make it work.