I Feel You

“Don’t you feel lonely? I see that you always eat out alone, watch movies alone, drink in cafes and read books in libraries alone. I always see you isolating yourself in a room with your phone, alone. Doesn’t it make you sad? Lonely?”

“Loneliness doesn’t work that way for me. The reason why I’m always alone is that I don’t want to be lonely. To be with myself is appreciating my own presence, especially when others couldn’t. You see, for me, being surrounded by people but still feeling alone— that’s lonely. Having a group to go out with but not feeling like you belong— that’s lonely. I’d rather be with myself and be alone, and no— that doesn’t make me lonely. Being with myself means I don’t have to fight for attention. Being with myself means that I don’t have to pretend that I’m a different person.”

~ thalia b.

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2 thoughts on “I Feel You”

  1. Last social event I went to people spoke to me, I responded in my own ‘unique’ way and felt ok, almost a bit happy

    Until the boss said ‘some things you said at the work social worried a few people’… crap!

    Alas the illusion that I would be well off in those environments shattered into various jagged pieces to put plate smashing scenes to shame, so once more to myself and the company of the cactus I returned (and WordPress)

    My only regret I hope to fix one day, that I can find someone who doesn’t get worried about what I say and if so directly confronts me with a bit of tact and jest, as long as she gets the idea that sometimes I need to be alone to be myself in the truest way
    But that women I suspect would expect me to grant her the same opportunity to be herself

    Like

    1. Some people married their best friends so they can be themselves in a romantic relationship. Aside from being able to keep their identity, they have also friendship to fall back to when the passion is over.

      I was lucky to be able to keep my job while staying true to myself. But then again if you’re not working for a living you are not afraid to lose your source of income. A privileged of being a woman.

      Liked by 1 person

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