“I picked up each fragmented piece of me and studied it. Where did it belong? Did I need it anymore?”
If I start doing that, I may end up with nothing but the core.
Which is not bad I guess because that’s all we need to build and rebuild ourselves.
When I was younger, I never let obstacles bother me to the point of giving up. In fact, I never entertained the notion of throwing the towel in. Something inherent in me never allows those kinds of thoughts to even cross my mind.
Get up, dust myself and walk on. Forward. Always forward and never look back if you don’t want to go that way again. I never question. I never blame.
I thought: It’s okay if I lose everything. As long as I have myself, I can start all over again.
Only when I reached a certain age I started thinking about things. Wondering about the hows and whys the ins and outs and doubts began to creep in.
I’m not anymore shoulder on charge it to experience and forget about it.
Suddenly I want explanations, justifications, and answers.
Never get it though.
I started to be scared too. Fear of the future and what it may bring.
I guess if you have nothing, you are not afraid of losing.
On the other hand, if you build and become used to a certain way of life, then you have everything to be afraid of.
You see, there is a limit. An expiration date to all you could do and tolerate before. You realized that your energy, your vigor, your optimism, and enthusiasm are not bottomless. Your ability and strength to bounce back are not that superelastic anymore. Not only the time (your time) is running out, but also your patience and perseverance. You will wake up one morning to find out that you are tired of running and want to rest, declutter your life in every way and embrace minimalism.
You are ready to settle and enjoy the fruit of your labor.
But what if life is not done with you yet?
What if it decided to test you all over again, toss you around to see if you are still as resilient as before?
Then, my friend, you got a problem.
What to do about it?
There is nothing you can do if fate wants to play.
Either you sign in or___
You sign out.