Toxic

Your Mother fed you stories about
a Prince Charming who’ll kiss you and
wake you up to take you away from
everything that’s wrong with this wretched
world. And when your parents screamed at
each other late at night, you pretended to
be asleep: you waited for someone, anyone,
who’ll hold your hands and sneak you out
to somewhere where noise doesn’t drown.
And when you sit crossed-legs at remote
cafes, reading Orwell with a sigh, you
expect to meet someone. All the stories
that you’ve been chewing about grand
romantic gestures and a blue-eyed stranger
falls flat on its face because you know
it’s not real. When I met you, you told me
Eiffel Tower is overrated, and romance is dead.
And I told you how love is nothing but
a combination of three chemicals acting funny
in our head. But yet, you caress my earlobe
and talk for whole five minutes about its shape.
And I — I look at you shivering at night from fear,
wondering if I can hold you to a deep sleep.
When you read to me, I wonder if you still
think about fairy tales. I wonder if
you realize this is not one. When I kiss you,
our moans are filled with terror. And when I hold
you, I do it like it’s the last time, because
one day we’ll wake up from this.
In this story, there’s no Prince Charming.
In this story, there’s no saving.
In this story, there’s just us,
until there isn’t.

~ The Honest Musing

In_a_Perfect_World_by_reference

8 thoughts on “Toxic”

  1. It’s a beautiful post. Just remember. There is no such thing as a Prince Charming. There are only people who have baggage, and in the words
    Of Rent, the best you can hope for is someone’s baggage that goes with yours.

    Also it sounds to me that you have started to give up before you really started. ThAts most certainly your choice, bit realize that the real hero in your story is not some fantasy man who probably has Mommy-issues and still wets the bed. You are the savior in your own story. Men are nice, but they can’t save you, only you can. Once I stopped believing that my hubby couldn’t fix much, I realized I had to fight for every inch I ever had. Yes he’s supportive, but he’s not perfect, and his advise usually makes me more insane than I already am.

    Accept him for him, and let him do the same for you. You’re worth a good person who will truly make you happy, rather than someone you already have designs on leaving. Why but you both? Instead, find. Way to make it work, or make an exit strategy. I know there are Mr Right Moe’s and that’s ok, but usually people don’t really want to be in a relationship or start thinking that there needs to be someone crushed at the end of it. Be fair to him, and by extension you; you might find gold there, or rusty junk. Either way, you deserve to know what you’re giving up, and realize that you are not now, or we’re you ever truly alone.

    Good luck!

    Like

    1. As always it’s fascinating and interesting to read your thoughts. Thank You for gracing my page.
      I believe in being whole on my own rather than being half of anybody. That way I will not be incomplete if they leave. Mind you, I don’t do it on purpose. I just born that way.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Being whole on your own is an amazing feeling, but doesn’t mean you gotta go it alone. You can have your cake and eat it too. Just never forget you’re you and never let anyone take away your freedom of self-discovery and power. And then you’re half-way home!

        Like

    2. As always it’s fascinating and interesting to read your thoughts. Thank you for gracing my page.
      I believe in being whole on my own rather than being half of anybody. That way I will not be incomplete when they leave. Mind you, I don’t do it on purpose. I was born that way.

      Like

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