Like I said so many times before, betrayal by your own flesh and blood is the worst betrayal of all. No one can get over that. The wounds will never heal and will bleed at the slightest touch. If you cannot trust your own family, then who you can trust? If you are not safe within your most intimate circle, would you ever feel safe amongst strangers?
If you have been betrayed by your nearest and dearest (over and over again) you will have trust issues whether you like it or not. It happened to me. And naive that I was I refused to believe the truth that was staring me in the face all my life. I thought I meant something to them other than a meal ticket, we’re family after all. But sadly I was wrong. It took me five decades to realized I was and will never be anything to them but a source of income, someone to provide all their material needs. Not a single time they asked me how I am, never show a single ounce of gratitude, not even a superficial thank you. No, they thought and still think they are entitled to everything I worked for and everything I have and could earn. Care is something alien to them when it comes to me. I was the one who got away, and they hate me for it.
It hurts. And the subject of a family will forever be a very sensitive issue for me. Home and love of blood relatives are something I did not and will never have. It is hard to accept and I still lay awake some nights thinking about the hows and whys but life goes on and I have to move with it no matter how painful the experience is…
MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO 
You are not alone I this by a long shot.
“And the subject of a family will forever be a very sensitive issue for me. Home and love of blood relatives are something I did not and will never have. ”
You will and your own life with your own family. Eventually. Good things come to those who wait.
And five decades should be long enough for you to learn by your mistakes. Giving them money may not be the best idea. Especially since it feels like as a good adult, you want to help them but get nothing in return.
1) I realize I am not an advice columnist that you reached out to.
2) I realize this is sort of unsolicited advice and I Don’t expect you to follow it at all.
3) I don’t have the full story.
However it appears to me that you are financially supporting your family and it’s on you last nerve and you feel betrayed. I also feel like if you were to cut them off at this point you would feel really guilty. A lot of people speak about “boundaries ” which are close to impossible when your family is such a big part of your life for so long, and if you’d want to remove them from your life forever, that’s a choice only you can make. But instead of trying to get them solvent at your expense, why not compromise? Send them a pre/paid visa, which the have budget themselves. Effective or not, you’re not turning your back on them, your helping them without hurting you.
And if yang to throw in some passive-aggressive, do what I suggested, then enclose a blank thank-you card with your address on it and a stamp. If they fail to respond, it’s REALLY time to reevaluate your particular situation regarding your relationship with them.
I’m done now. I’d say you owe me $110 for my services 😉
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I’ve done everything I could to help them. Sent them to school, gave them means of income like grocery store and places they could rent out. A 27 hectares fishpond. Another house, another land, cash… It all went down the drain. The means were disappearing faster than I could provide and if I couldn’t they let me know how bad I am and tried to harm me in all possible and impossible ways. I’ts all over now. No more.
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Good for you. Some people are drains, plain and simple. Sounds like what’s going on here. I wish you all the best.
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It hurts but I have no choice. I can’t keep on giving. I have to think of myself sometimes.
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” I have to think of myself sometimes.”
Make it all of the time, and you’re on to something.
It’s not greedy or bad to put yourself first. I do believe it’s VERY important though.
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I will that try that sometimes.
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