Uncompromising

That’s me when I have already made up my mind. Yes, I have an iron will but only when I’m sure of my right. Sometimes I’ve been asked how I get through the divorce, how I processed the whole thing and I’ve read about people who had hard times with the transition from one life to another, the guilty phase, the loneliness, the doubts, the anger, the heartbreaks, and I can’t say I can relate because I can’t. I never get through all these. Maybe because I made sure that before I close one chapter of my life I always see to it that it is truly finished, that I already did all in my power to make the relationship works often to the point that I let people walk all over me. 

It takes for me a lifetime to say quits but once I heard that tell-tale click in my brain, nothing, and no one can change my mind. They can die before my eyes, literally and I will not even bat an eyelash. Once I get over something, I truly get over it. I am not the one to play hard to get, it’s either I’m in or I’m out. I have no patience for guessing or chasing games, that’s for children. Say what you mean and mean what you say and stand and stick with your decision once you decided and suffer the consequences. We’re adults for God’s sakes. That’s (one of) my motto. 

I’ve been accused of being a hard bargain simply because I refused to play or follow the rules. My mentor (who by the way said to me that every time she was in for a meeting with me she not only mentally preparing herself for the confrontation the night before she literally bracing herself, holding her desk with both hands before I came in the room because she knew by experience that whatever I was about to say will guarantee to blow her away) told me that I go on in life like a horse with blinkers, that once in a while it will do me good to consider also other people’s perspective. But then again she doesn’t really know me. She doesn’t know (and I didn’t tell her- I’m not good at depending my myself- if someone thinks or says I’m a whore then so be it. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. What is the point of telling otherwise when they are already made up their minds?) that before I come to a decision, it means I have already considered other options, weighed and compared them to mine, deliberated their significance in the big picture and then come to conclusion. 

True I decide fast but never in a hurry. And once I’ve reached my decision, I am resolute. Uncompromising indeed.

How about you? Are you relentless?