Sunday Rant

This is the most depressing weather.  You don’t know if it is early in the morning or early evening. So wet; so cold so dreary. This is the kind of weather that if you are depressed you might decide to hang yourself because everything looks so bleak, hopeless. Very difficult to find inspiration to do anything. I’m tired of the malls, Can’t walk outside, don’t want to see anyone. What’s the point anyway? People are so indifferent nowadays and becoming more detached even from themselves. Yesterday we dined out and the first thing that people do upon sitting at their tables was to put their phones on display, lay it on the table and fiddle with it, eyeing better phones around with resentment as if you have no right to ride the latest sport model of BMW, carry a designer bag and eat where they are. Good that I don’t like to dress up or wear my collection of custom made 22k  jewelries (courtesy of my ex for every physical and emotional blow he dealt ever so often in the past) or otherwise they will hate me more. I wonder if I’m white, maybe they can be more forgiving. I know I’m ranting but this is my page I can rant as much as I want. Better than getting even more crazy or pretend there is nothing wrong. Few of my neighbors have put up holiday decorations. I’m looking at it from my office window across the street thinking I used to be the first who hang Christmas lights outside but this year I can’t really convince myself to believe that there still some meaning behind the dying tradition. I cannot deny anymore or pretend out of rebellion the simple truth that this world is changing for the worst heading for the inevitable ultimate disaster we seem cannot wait to accomplish. I’m off now to eat tortellini with green pesto. Till next time…