I know it could be you. I realized this upon our first meeting (?) the very first time we have “spoken” to each other I mean. You made me… curious, which is rare. Normally I don’t give a damn about what’s going on around here. You made me think otherwise. Nothing you have said is coincidental. Your written thoughts show that much. Of course it also helps that you’re one of those so few intellectuals lurking in this site. You understood early on that in order to get through the walls, you have to romance my brain first; that, you did, successfully. It might have taken a few years to do it but you’ve got this far. I’m telling you, not so many managed to do that. You’re interested. That I could tell. As to what extent, is until now a puzzle to me. You never show your hands. You’re careful enough to veil your true feelings. Or maybe I am just reading too much into it. Typically me.
I remember the first indication that I’m harboring a soft spot for you is when I found out that you are romancing other brains too. I felt a little twinge of ‘curiosity’ and thought: this is bad. I digested everything in silence and went on as usual as if there is nothing new under the sun. I’m good at that. Pretending it didn’t matter. After all, that’s the truth. There is nothing going on between us but few exchanging of words. Nothing more, nothing less.
Maybe it’s all a play for you, a game to spice your life online, to see who is who and what is what.
Like you said: what were your exact words? It’s safer to flirt from a distance? Not true. You can still break a heart from where you are. Not mine though. I simply not made that way. I can experience sadness sorrow and pain but my heart will always be safely intact.
Sometimes I imagine how it is to see you in real life. Would you be the same as I know you here? Would the words have the same familiar ring? Would I fall deeper or change my mind? Pity, I would never find out. For if I’m careful, you’re twice as cautious as I am. Can’t blame you, at your age, it’s almost impossible not to be burn once if not a lot of times. So, where are we? In no man’s land I guess, like where we are all this time. In fact, I can sense you are pulling away from me; gradually. Maybe it’s for the best. Best for you best for me.
I guess I cannot say goodbye because we are sharing the same cyber space. I have no right to vanquish you and even I stay away for a long time, I cannot be banished. Not because of you. So, I guess it is quite okay if I say… see you around?
By the way…
Here is the copy of comment I’ve made but you never see on your space. Sounds harsh but I mean it.
First of all I greeted you on your blog a very prosperous new year on the very hour itself wishing your loved ones the very best. You chose to ignore it, fine by me; it’s your privilege. Then you came here and left the type of comment I care nothing about and now you dare to demand civility??? If your so called association with someone is teaching you to be like this, then I suggest we better terminate our acquaintance. Wish you all the best still…