Running On Empty

When you have too much time in your hands you begin to question everything. You begin to doubt your own morals and values and everything you believe in. You begin comparing it to the life outside your island and begin to doubt if ignorance is really a bliss and if alone is not really lonely. You begin buying clothes you would not wear in normal circumstances as if by transforming yourself you will somehow change the course of your life. You begin accumulating things you don’t really need just to feel momentary pleasure and convince yourself you have a wonderful life compare to most. If that doesn’t work, you move into another house, another place every four years to keep yourself busy half believing the change of scenery will do you good. And when everything begin to settle and looking like you might actually develop some roots where you are, panic strikes and you start the whole process again of running away from the truth because you know that if you look reality straight in the eyes and see it for what it truly is, you know that there is no way back; the dam of long years of frustrations and anger will suddenly come crashing down and you will end up either in a loony bin dead or in prison. So, what to do other than pretending everything is alright and continue looking for diversions hoping one day you will stumble upon the true meaning of life and realize that there is something  worth living for…  

Suicide-new

39 thoughts on “Running On Empty”

  1. ouch but there is much truth here. Maybe we must make our own meaning. Maybe there is not one meaning that fits all people everywhere but many small meanings that fit each individual. Something to consider at least….

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      1. True! I agree 200 percent. You don’t have to define yourself trough someone or be a half of another person when you can be whole and complete on your own. It’s like expecting other person to make you happy.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m working on that. It’s a lonely process though because life has conditioned me to believe that I need someone in my life to be complete. I butt up against that thinking often when I am not busy.

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      3. I think if you feel that you don’t need anyone psychologically, emotionally, financially and physically to survive, then your complete and only want someone to be there because you want not because you need him.

        Liked by 1 person

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