We delude ourselves with fallacy, the belief that we can be truly happy.
It’s embarrassing how we can lie to ourselves in such a cruel deceptive way.
There’s no point in masking misery when it cannot be escaped?
I learnt the truth when I was seventeen. From that day forward, my heart changed.
The day He married me I became colder than ice.
I can never feel the same again. Nothing can wash away that pain of the past; no one can protect me from the suffering his end brought me.
A past of torture, years of rejection, days of fear, too frightened to express myself because of what might happen, driven to panic, to paranoia, constantly terrified the world may abandon me, each day plagued with exhaustion unable to find rest.
Why do you think I am filled with so much sorrow and such pain?
I bear loathing even toward my own pleasure and lust, it serves only to bring sorrow afterward, yet I do it in the name of true love.
This life is why I utter the words “I do not care” Next time someone asks me if I am happy; I shall say… that does not exist for me…
~Emmaessence on DevianArt
MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO 
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