There are some strange things happening to me lately. Perhaps strange for me but normal for others. My seasons are always been in reverse I know but even then…
One of those is craving donuts. Not just donuts because I cannot stand the other varieties. Only plain ones will do with a little sprinkle of sugar on top. I eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and anytime in between. Lately, they are the only food I can consume without sending me straight to the loo puking my heart and soul out. I even drive to cinemas, late open fast food chains, and night shops at ungodly hours in search of donuts. I often coupled them with steaming black coffee (real men drink their coffee black) or real green tea. Where I live, finding (plain) donuts is an arduous task. You will have more chance scoring a date on a Saturday night than finding plain donuts.
I don’t have a sweet tooth. I used to hate anything sweet. My stomach (which is a pro when it comes to knowing what it wants and has an amazing capability of puking only things it can’t stand and keep the ones that suit its taste even when I mix my food, deliberately going against doctor advice to separate food groups for better digestion ) has an aversion for processed food especially those that contain sugar, dairy and chocolates. That’s why I find it strange that I’m craving for sugar (in this case donuts) or pizza, which is another strange addiction of mine. I don’t even like pizza, but these days I drive to shopping malls so I can have my favorite variety. No real Italian restaurants for me (like we used to do once in a while on special occasions) for two reasons: I can only eat one slice. More than that and it will be another trip to the loo for me. The second reason is: no restaurants will make the flavor I like, which is called supreme with a thin crust. I normally partner it with diet coke. What a fucking cliché.
I’ve read somewhere that problems in brain stem area can affect one’s eating habit. Maybe that’s why.
I always have temporary addiction before (but not sugar) let it be food, clothes, beverages or places to go and things to do. But they lasted only for a couple of days never to be repeated again. Like the time I was buying shawls, bags, and consuming kilos of artisan hummus and bread and drinking liters of Tao pure infusion drink, that’s nothing but a distant memory now.
Another thing happening to me these days is the fact that I’m not sleeping. Okay, I am insomniac, always been. I am also a night person but at least I was able to sleep in the daytime and on occasions, nighttime; especially when I was traveling. What can someone do on a long non-stop flight but sleep? Besides, airplanes (or any public places like train/bus stations and airports) are an excellent substitute for bedrooms. You’re surrounded by people (therefore”safe”) that you have nothing to do with. It’s like hiding in the open. Fantastic!
But lately, sleeping is becoming a really serious affair. I can’t sleep. Unless of course, it’s a drug-induced sleep and even then I can only manage 3- maximum 4 hours before I’m fully awake again. That is on a good day for I have these reverse reaction to tranquilizers; it energized me instead of guiding me to la- la land. And please, don’t let me start with therapy, yoga, herbal teas, physical activities, saunas and massages; they simply don’t work. Not for me.
I just woke up (at 20:00 hours) and wrote this before I forget because aside from the things I’ve mentioned above, I seem to be suffering from apraxia and agnosia I’m terrified it will develop into something worse like ataxia/abulia or allochiria. God, I’m becoming hypochondriac. I better stop right here before I bore you people if I’m not busy doing that already…