The Habit

Tell us about a habit you’d like to break. Is there any way it can play a positive role in your life?

There are few things in my life I would like to do differently, like for example going to bed early. But I was born insomniac and nothing helps (herbal teas, physical activities, massage, sex, sauna, pills, therapy, combination of all) I don’t know where to begin. The direct result of my nocturnal habit is another thing I would like to change: eating pattern; I have none. My (Circadian) rhythm is  so severely disturb that I can’t function normally anymore. Make me wanting to study chronobiology even just  for the sake of (it) curiosity.

I’m weird, different (it’s always irritates my son when I say that. He doesn’t want me thinking I’m special or something. He said the reason why D. or other people who have the same “condition” are able to function normally is the fact that his parents concealed to him the naked truth that he has Asperger syndrome therefore by believing he is normal he can function normally) unusual from birth. And my life experience and upbringing only strengthen that conviction. There are lots of behavior I possess that I never seen from others and others widely consider abnormal but it doesn’t bother me. My other habits in general I mean.

Like checking under the bed, behind doors, inside the closets, when I come home and before I go to sleep. I cannot sleep without locking doors either or putting on a night lamp. Among so many other things I also have scotophobia. What a fun life I have. But that’s for another blog post…