Another find

…from my archive. Don’t know from who it is or if I have written it myself. I just feel that it resonates so much with my feelings and thoughts…

I need somewhere quiet

And it’s so hard to find

With all the buzzing in my head

All the thoughts moving at the speed

Of light

Despite the darkness of my mood

I tried my empty room

But the shadows made it hard to relax

And the air was too still

So I tried outside

And finally managed to sit still

In silence

And sink

Into my thoughts

Without interuption

Or worry

About hiding my feelings

So no one could know

 

I let the wind play with my hair

Let the sun warm my skin

And I floated

Through time and space

Without moving a muscle

Memories washed over me

Like waves on the shores

And I didn’t have to fight them back

For once

Remembering everything

That I’ve so carefully blocked from myself

And just this once

I didn’t even mind

I was happy

And everything was okay

If only in the moments

When I was able to sit and sink

Within myself

 

I didn’t miss the constant pressure

Behind my eyes

That’s been there so long

I barely even notice it any more

Until it was gone

And then again when it returned

Reminding me of all the things

I have to miss and worry about

So much it gives me a headache

Except in those fleeting seconds

When I allow myself to sink

And just stop

Moving

Thinking

Hurting

Feeling

Hiding

Crying

Stop everything

And just be

To finally be still

To sit and sink

Into myself

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image: favin