A Valentine Story

She was my best friend.

At least, that was what she told everybody including me. But in reality, we were more than that; we were best friends indeed but with benefits. We had a friendship without limits.  Only she was not aware of the benefits. Maybe because things only happened when she (and I) was (were) intoxicated. But never sober. Afraid perhaps? Didn’t want the consequences and complications the truth may bring? I don’t know. If she said we were only best of friends so, be it.

Things were not that complicated in the beginning. She was just a neighbour, and I was just there watching. I watched her spins her web, and before I knew, I was caught in it. Not that she was trying. That was one thing she never did, try. It just happened. We sat with each other (if she had nothing better to do) we talked, we drank, we kissed we smoked, philosophized, and argued and told each other we didn’t care. She had boyfriends, I had a girlfriend. But we spent Christmas, New Year, Valentines and almost every minute (she could spare) with each other. If only it stayed that way.

But little boys do grow up. They start to see things differently. They start wondering why she didn’t know that she was his first kiss. How could she forget things like that? It supposed to be important. He became tired of watching who will be the flavour of the night and if it didn’t work out the way she scripted it, he had to jump in to save the day. Always on standby, always waiting, but no recognition, Status undefined. Except for the fact that she would break any relationship if the contract includes: “forbidden to see me.” And the knife cuts both ways. I would ditch any girl who wouldn’t allow me to play with the vampire girl. My excuse: I have known her longer than anyone except my own mother. Sometimes, I’m good at fooling myself.

So, one night in pathetic attempt to wake her up from her years of slumber I poured my heart out to her.

I thought she would listen, or at least echo my feelings. Only it didn’t really work the way I pictured it was going to be. She laughed at me and said she didn’t understand. Why complicate the matters when there was no need to do so. She asked why I could not stay the same; she thought we were doing okay, why suddenly she could not recognize me anymore? “Where is my best friend?” she asked.

I told her that her best friend was gone. He grew up and vanished. That the reason why she could not understand was because her brain was closed, And she never did try to put herself in the shoes of others, that she was selfish and had Peter Pan’s Syndrome. Boy, I was courageous and foolish and there was no way back.

The drugs came shortly after. From there it went downhill. The only one who stayed was Rachel (my girlfriend) she, the vampire girl would not even speak to me. The last thing she said was: “Jim, I cannot understand. Why? You are my best friend.” The next day she had a new boyfriend. Is that fair?

The vampire girl disappeared one day. She sold her house next to mine. After more than a decade of living next door to her, suddenly she was gone. No explanation, no reconciliation, no goodbyes.

Up to now, I  often wonder what happened to that girl…where she is… if she still remembers me… if we will meet again someday. I certainly hope so. She’s my best friend. Still.