I’m tired of being scared. What will happen, will happen whether I worry to death or not. I will take things as they come and make the most of it. I will always be careful, weigh my options and try to do what I think is right, but no more paranoid states. No more looking behind the doors under the beds and inside trash cans for boogey folks. No more doomed scenarios in advance, no depressing thoughts, and pre-conceived horrors.

I will try to stir my mind away from negative thoughts and paralyzing fantasies. I will go out there without always looking over my shoulders for evil-doers and all sorts of maniacs. I will not just sit there and wait for disaster to happen. I will try to enjoy life and what it’s got to offer good or bad. I don’t want to be afraid of people anymore. I will try not to be affected by their thoughts and actions. Their judgment doesn’t make me who I am.

I will try to find back the real me, the one that I have lost somewhere along the way, the person who feels too much and in touch with herself, one with nature and sees beauty in everything. I will be the girl I used to know, the one who carries magic within herself and loves adventure and stormy weather; the eccentric insomniac melancholic-choleric free-spirited artsy rebel bohemian gypsy me…


header image: mattbenfly75