Lying

Is lying wrong?

My answer is: It depends.

It depends on the person who is lying and what s/he wants to achieve by doing it.  If someone lies for personal gain, to deceive and manipulate people in order to cause them harm; then it is wrong.  We are all familiar with the concept of white lies. And no doubt many have tried to abuse the idea. But I believe that sometimes we have to do it in order to protect loved ones and ironically enough, to do the right thing. If the truth will hurt people and by exposing them will do nobody good and keeping them buried will not harm anyone, by all means lie.

Why we teach children not to lie? Because honesty is a fundamental basis of how a decent human being should be. Kids need to know the right set of rules first before they can break them when they are old enough to understand why sometimes they must do the opposite of what they have been taught. Like telling white lies for example.  

In my book a good person is someone who has a good set of morals and values, who is aware of the difference between right and wrong, and who is honest to the core.

We all have to lie sometimes. But don’t lose sight of the valid reasons why we’re doing it. Often I wonder if omitting is the same as lying… I guess no matter what, the same rules still apply. Never do it in order to harm someone. Point.

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Till death do us part(?)

Five pairs (meaning ten individuals) of my classmates (from two different schools) ended up marrying each other. They have known their partners since kindergarten, been together as couples since grade school, their relationships survived high school and got engaged during college years. Their respective families being neighbours from day one up to the present time, (in a very small town) their lives hold no secret from one another. (And maybe that’s the key Don McLean once said)

And yet I have a trouble grasping the scenario of all of them seeing their spouses practically clad in diapers and then and there decided that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Is something like that possible? Apparently yes because they are the living proof that fairy tales do exist.

Two couples didn’t even attend the same university during their college years. One guy studied at some military academy in some far away city while his wife-to-be remained in our hometown finishing her course in education while waiting for him to come back.  Other couple separated their ways after high school. The man went abroad to finish his engineering course and ended up working there too while the other half was left in the country to attend business school. She later joined him and they are still living in their host country until this very moment.

The other pair has a fairy-tale like romance. I remember them being crowned Mr. and Ms. Home coming whatever three times over plus Ms. And Mr. JS, or senior, or junior; depending which year they were being partnered together. The guy started courting the girl during our freshman year in high school, and look at them now, blessed with three beautiful children.

I am asking myself: what is the key ingredient that holds these couples together? Something so powerful it defies distance, stand the test of time and deliver them from temptation. What made them choose and stick with their choices all these years, while there are lots of gorgeous-what-ever-it-takes- fish in the ocean. This phenomenon fascinates me at great length and a great deal. If only we know… Saves tons of heartaches pain and tears.

Let’s examine the other side of the coin and talk about Mr. Campus personality Monday and Ms. prettiest girl in town Tracy Anne.

They were classmates and neighbours too. The boy spent his formative and elementary years staring and admiring her beauty in silence. He finally plucked up the courage to court her in high school and wasted four years weighing his chances in hopeful contemplation. His passive obsession drove everyone crazy including me.

Let me give you an example: he said to me one day that Tracy Anne told their bridge (a cousin) that she could not talk to him. Monday was so elated with the news. The reason for it escaped my comprehension; I could not find any positive note or whatsoever with what he was being happy about, till he pointed out the core of the matter to me. She said: “cannot” instead of “don’t want” which according to Monday there is a vast difference between the two. I, being a natural sucker for romance (when it concerned other people) spent a great deal of change buying perfumed stationery and writing long romantic letters to Tracy on behalf of Mr. Monday without success.

Eventually, yours truly got tired of it and embarked on her own pursuit of once and for all knowing which is which stole a snapshot of the hopeless boy and waited for the girl to pass by.

All I had to do was flashed the photograph in her line of vision and it quickly disappeared into her skirt’s pocket without saying a word. It turned out that she also fancy Mr. Perfect but not allowed yet to entertained suitors till after she graduated high school. There you go.

Did they end up together? No. apparently the boy gradually lost interest in her during their senior year (what a nitwit) a case of: “you always covet something you cannot have” for sure and they drifted apart bit by bit.

He is now engaged to unknown somebody and she_ has a son out of wedlock. Could you dig that?

It reminds me of Jimenrex and Rachel. They even knelt in front of the three statues of Sto. Niño (which at that  time and probably still is residing on the altar in the house of Lady Erna the mother of Jim and supposed to be representing her three sons Jim, Jeff and Jake) promising to each other that they are going to be together forever and ever till death do them part etc. etc.

Each wrote a promise letter to one another, hiding the papers under the feet of the deities, swearing each has a right to kill their partner in case of infidelity. What a dismal idea from such young minds. But then again Jim was and still is creepy. That was probably one of the reasons why despite huge age differences we became best of friends.  

They nursed their relationship through drugs (Jim) family crisis (Rachel) rehab(Jim again) third party (me) environmental hazards (friends) just to end up as they are now___ he, an unwed father who cannot take care of his own son and she with someone else I never heard of, trap in a life she was trying to escape once upon a time. Imagine that. There goes happily-ever-after.

I had my shares of promises. I once believed in forever and till death do us part. I held onto the sanctity of marriage for so long because I thought that was the best thing to do, till I realized there is no use being stupid. I played and fooled around even before my marriage collapsed, my faith in love and trust gone I thought I had nothing to lose.

But fate dealt me another chance and showed me the other side of love, the good side. I gradually changed from faithless to hopeful and boy; I don’t dare to admit that I am scared shitless because I don’t want to lose what I have now. It’s too special. Not perfect but special. Good enough for now.

So, I’m dying to know that secret ingredient for a long lasting togetherness. Something ducks and squirrels had known from birth and embedded in their genes (lucky buztards) something that can assure me that this is forever and no I am not wasting my time here being stupid again and reformed from my wandering ways just to be disillusioned one of these days. Something that can guarantee me that this is it, sit back and relax because you’re in for a long ride…

Any idea anyone?

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