Often times I’m struggling with what topic is “safe” to post ( I’m only kidding) what I mean is… to select among the ones that are playing in my head and make it understandable/acceptable for the majority of readers. As you probably noticed by now, I tend to write long blogs, but I am trying to avoid doing that lately; same as I am trying to moderate sharing my dark depressing thoughts to all of you because I know life is difficult already as it is without me adding to it. I’m also aware that a lot of people like to read real life stuff, something most could relate to like relationships, travel, something inspirational or educational, family related or anything controversial under the sun and of course the hottest topic(s ) of all time…what else but l’amour, I mean photography.
I tried to cover them all to test for reactions and confirm my several different theories about what people want to read, I must say it didn’t make me any wiser; I still don’t have a single clue and have given up figuring it out a long time ago. But one thing is for sure: nine out of ten, the name behind the article is what really matters not so much the article itself. One has to be established. How to do that exactly is debatable and for a totally different post.
Being said that; allow me to share another difficulty I often encounter when trying to write something; that is__ staying with the original thoughts in my head. Frequently enough, I started with a clear topic and find out that somewhere along the way; it turned out into something I didn’t mean to put in black & white. Take this blog for instance: I wanted to pen something about refreshed/repressed childhood of mine and even selected few pictures which I thought suited for the material. Look how it turned out to be, a yada-yada-ya about nothing. To correct that maybe I would say something like this:
Through a series of painful realizations, it’s started to make an odd sort of sense. Not real sense, but the crazy, uninhibited sort of understanding that only someone like me could make. I have a problem… a love problem, but the challenge is not making someone fall in love with me; I don’t mean to sound shallow, but guys have always been interested in me, and though I never really look for it, it seems that they are always there in the right place at the right time and I went for it for fun- out of nothing better to do- because it feels good? I don’t know.
I need someone to go places and do things, they are there and I said to myself: well… why not? They are free and I’m “free” there is no harm done and so I thought but even then__ I always tell myself: well… they’re young, they will get over it. I have had too many boyfriends that much I could admit (take note: having boyfriends is not a synonym for sleeping around) frankly, there were times that I had all five of them simultaneously. Why? Because I found out that it is easier to get rid of them if you say yes.
And saying yes doesn’t mean I have to keep my end of the bargain. They can always bail out anytime. After all, they are the ones who want to be in that situation in the first place; so, they have to know for themselves.
The problem is more in the region of falling in love with myself. I’ve struggled for years and still is struggling to be happy with who I am, and few times I made the mistake of letting someone else try to make me happy, make me more alive. But of course, it is a very wrong choice. No wonder I have a commitment phobia, it’s understandable why when it comes to relationships I can’t find my way, I’m love illiterate and blind as a bat paranoid and totally, totally insecure. How could I (expect someone to love me) make myself believe that somebody would actually stay when I have never even loved myself?
Does it make this blog more interesting? The answer is: probably depends who’s going to read it, or if that person can relate with the topic or not or just simply like the way I string the story together ha,ha.
When everything is said and done by the end of the day when it comes to it, it is really up to the readers what to like and not to like. The question still remains: what to blog?