“common friends”

That’s what I call them.

The sort I have to curl my hair dressed up to the nines and put on make up for. The ones I go to Mallorca or Canary Islands, Sarah Brightman concerts, discuss the stock exchange, Swarovski collection and wine; but never about racism, street children or global warming. The real life how real people live it, they don’t want to know.

We see them every other week, once a month if I can help it. Each couple takes turns to entertain in their own homes mostly on Saturdays and would last till about early in the morning.

At the table, men often talk about their latest achievements in their chosen fields, hobbies like paragliding and windsurfing and what their financial plan once retired.

Women, career people or not would debate about the quality of sectional ports, ski holidays, hotels, spas and who is going with whom together with the prices of haircuts, their latest purchased and how silly their husbands are becoming. I, in turn “always” shut up.

I learned that if I say something, the table will suddenly go quiet, everyone will try to begin another topic all at once and the laughter will be more stressed and high pitch than ever before. I have a feeling they are all wary of me. As if I carry a grenade somewhere inside my purse and will drop it in their middle on slight provocation. Imagine that.

Why I socialize with these friends? Well, because in our line of works we need networks, we need references, and viva voce is still is the best and the most credible form of advertising and crucial for every business. You need to give some to receive some. Maybe they don’t understand me as a person but they have respect for what I do and they all adore my partner, the golden boy.

So, once in a while I go put on some decent clothes, smear some war paint and do what I do best; excelling in things I dislike the most.

(No wonder that Emily Dickinson is my favourite poet)

Deprived of other Banquet,
I entertained Myself—
At first—a scant nutrition—
An insufficient Loaf—

But grown by slender addings
To so esteemed a size
‘Tis sumptuous enough for me—
And almost to suffice

A Robin’s famine able—
Red Pilgrim, He and I—
A Berry from our table
Reserve—for charity—


8 thoughts on ““common friends””

  1. I’ve never been much good at small talk, or that competitive bragging kind of stuff. Small talk often only really comes naturally to me when the big talk has been done, when you know who they are and you are and how you fit and what you are about.
    Sometimes I can do it and I find a few common threads to get going on, but usually it’s on a one to one basis where there’s no crowd to impress.
    Enjoyed reading.


    1. Based on my observation, bragging comes naturally for most people when they are in company, be it with friends, colleagues or family. I think most of the times, people are not even aware of it. With women it manifests in something completely different. Put one of them in the middle of a group which consists of mainly people below her status and she can be generous, but add some that in the same league or higher and you will witness some drastic dramatic changes in behaviors. They suddenly become competitive and bitchy. Trust them to remember what everyone is wearing and things like that. It never seize to amaze me.

      thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Alpha males can be very similar if competing for attention. I suppose we are more attuned to our own sex.
        And the dynamic changes when mixed too.
        I’m less conscious of status except in a work or work social environment where clearly pecking order takes precedence. You are right in that bragging is a natural way of eatablishing status too. For me it’s all about letting one’s guard down i guess. If there’s no dropping of the facade then there’s no connection to the real person, at which point I lose interest in interaction. Either that or I start getting a bit contoversial or pushing boundaries to prompt a response of interest…


      2. I’m with you all the way. Roosters behavior among males are common. During break times they talk more or less the way they always do among each other, but once a female, especially attractive one passes or join in, the change in the atmosphere is remarkable. Women do it too.

        God, we observe and study people. Do you think it’s wrong? I can’t help it. I am not judging them though, just being interested in general I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Of course it’s not wrong. I’m also certain that many of those behaving along with the pack feel the same way but don’t want to feel the outaider sp go along with it. That’s how crowds behave. That’s how leadership works. Bullying too. People follow the group behaviour, glad not to be the one being bullied. We all do it. But I guess we don’t always realise we’re doing it unless we are the one in the margins.


      4. I call it Herd Mentality. Going with the flow. Don’t rock the boat. About leadership… very noticeable that those who climb higher are not necessarily the one with so much depth and talent but the ones who make the most noises and know how to socialize and fake it. Like I said in one of my posts: In this society where falsehood and hypocrisy is highly rewarded, you will be punish for being honest. But yeah… C’est la vie.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. With you on this one. Ive never been a pack animal. It certainly has it’s downsides for sure but im just not very good at it! Enjoyed your post.


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