What a perfect day looks like…
If someone asks me that question when I was young(er) my answer would be different. I would say a day full of adventures like a roller coaster ride is my idea of fun. Gallivanting in every sense of the word will be the appropriate description of what I had in mind, including playing around amorously. But that was a thing of the past now. Those silly adventures were replaced by real and quieter endeavors. Gradually, the quietness turned to solitude to full isolation, currently how I am living.
I am an introvert. Difficult to believe if you see me in real life and even more difficult to understand when people read that I coupled introversion with gallivanting in the same breath. But you see, having fun doesn’t mean you let people in your personal life or allow them to be part of it. You can always choose when, where, how things are going to happen; all on your own terms. And you can always go home alone. No string attached. Take what you need and disregard the rest; don’t wear out your welcome, never let familiarity creeps in. Avoid complication at all times. In short: intimacy without intricacy.
But there is a vast difference between self-imposed isolation and forced isolation. And that’s what bothering me lately. I will not elaborate in that out of respect for some people. They can hurt me but I don’t want to return the favour. I never was vindictive. Let’s just say that my ideal, perfect day looks a lot different now than before. Simpler too.
A day without pain would be great. That is all what I am hoping/wishing for lately.
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