“Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil.”
I used to be the kind of girl who was dreaming of the most amazing love, nothing short of a tall dark and handsome knight in shining armor who is going to sweep me off my feet and break down walls and slay dragons to have me by his side. Though I never thought we will ride into the sunset to happily ever after, I did believe in an everlasting romance. The kind that against all odds-no matter what- you and me together forever- not only till death do us part but till life after death kind of relationship; and that was probably one of the reasons why I stayed too long with my ex. After all, being married means for better or for worse; right?
And for years, I continued believing it will come. My knight in shining armor someday will be there to save this stupid damsel in distress. I even tried chasing after the fantasy when I get tired of waiting, embarking in some adventures after adventures unconsciously looking for the one. I found many noble souls with golden hearts and endless patience, all willing to do almost anything to have a part in my quest no matter how little the role might be; but I did not find the one. That special person who is going to capture my heart take hold of my soul quench my thirst satisfy my hunger and can tame my wild free-spirited nature enough to settle down in one place with one man… I never encountered
Till I met HIM.
We are totally opposite. He is Wall-E I am Eve. He is passive, I’m passionate. I’ve been there done that, he is so inexperienced. I’m Asian he’s Caucasian. I can go on and on with the list.
Like his predecessors, he was in the right place at the right time; and like before, I said to myself: why not? I have nothing better to do for the moment anyway and I was really getting tired of my ex and was planning to leave one way or the other. A diversion was more than welcome. Besides, I never considered him a danger to my constitution. How could a soft-spoken inexperience overly polite educated starry-eyed Wall-E from a well-to-do family with spec and span background and over-protective parents can do to a worldly me? I reckoned nothing. And I took advantaged of the situation. He was new and sweet and naïve and just wonderful. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I never expected to be in so deep. That the spur-of-the-moment thing will develop into something serious. At least serious enough to walk to the altar with him reading self-written vows that contain fairy tales do exist or something like that. No one was more surprised than me with how everything had turned out. A joke became reality.
But you see, with HIM I found out that love is not exactly tearing down walls but climbing over it with a ladder, that one doesn’t necessarily have to slay dragons because you can poison them also; it works as well and less hassle (joking) that real love is not sweeping you off your feet but coming down from his horse to your level and stands right there beside you and defy everything that is against.
Love is knowing when one half of your window shutters is closed, it means you’re sleeping so he doesn’t have to come up because you are a light sleeper and one tiny little noise could wake you up. So, he works in the garden instead till you wake up and the first thing he would ask is what you would like to eat.
Or letting you spend hours and hours in shops looking for the perfect cushion for the living room sofa and listening to your endless yada-yada-ya about interior and making once in a while suggestion bringing you example after example of throw pillows to choose from, letting you ramble on and on without complaining.
That he knows by the shift of your eyeballs when you’re exhausted combing flea markets and antique shops looking for that special find and he will offer to sit somewhere so, you can rest and he will massage your feet while everyone is looking.
Or have tears in his eyes when your face lights up for whatever reasons. And not minding walking with you dressed up in suit while you are wearing paint splattered jogging pants because you find it unnecessary to change to anything decent just to purchase some status car out of rebellion, or probably principle, making statement or simply laziness and seeing he is proud of you nonetheless. Little things mean a lot.
Love is: understanding that things can become too much for him sometimes that this is his first relationship and he has no idea how to handle the rough patches, truly believing that it should always be perfect, that if problems exist it means the relationships is not right and it is up to you to make him understand that it is not so, love is overcoming all the hurdles together and coming out stronger.
That when it becomes too much for you too and wanting to leave everything behind, then you look around this little nest you both created and you will see his labor of love juxtaposing with yours knowing he never did this before but painstakingly trying to learn everything just to please you and it will melt your heart and you will decide to give it yet another chance, again.
I remember, someone said:
“ It’s not only the material things, the belongings, but the feeling that you are connected. Your worlds collided and become one. You adopted each other, shared memories of the past and the present and made them your own. And you will see that looks in his eyes, a sort of mix between confused and lost and pleading and you will suddenly stop in the middle of your rants and walk back in his arms and he will kiss the top of your head and hug you tight. And after a moment he will ask if you want to drink some tea and he will go making it the way you want it, strong and no sugar. And you will flop back onto the sofa and everything will be as it has always been.”
The best kind of love is when you have no expectations at all…