What events I get nervous about…
My wedding… let me think… the first was forced so, there were no nerves involved there. I remember looking out the window thinking to myself that I can get out of there, if I want I can just walk out and be gone leaving everything behind. But of course it did not happen that way. Too much at stake. My father threatened to disown and throw me out if I will not do what they wanted me to do. That marriage lasted for twenty years.
The second one… well… it’s my own choice but not for love. Never for love. I will never marry someone I am in love with (not that the opportunity presented itself already) I find it a very dangerous thing to do. One might say living with somebody one is not in love with = unhappy. Not true. Who says being in love (or loving somebody) is a synonym for happiness? For what I saw/read/heard (listen to most songs) it is mostly the opposite. (Un)luckily, I never had the chance yet to experience the dilemma of choosing for like I said before, I am yet to fall. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked again. Back to the topic.
My second wedding, I let the groom decide about everything. From food to cake to wine to colour to venue to gown, everything! I thought: okay, I’ve been there done that, it was the first and the only church wedding he was going to have so, I granted him all his wishes. Again, no nerves involved. At least, not from my part.
Exams… I believe that if one listens attentively in class, one doesn’t have to be nervous about exams. Exams are just recollection of things one has already learned. If one had paid attention when teachers were doing what they’re supposed to be doing, when examine time arrived, one bound to remember things especially when there are questions present to nudge ones memory to life. So, just be prepared and tackle it one question at a time. There is no reason to be nervous.
Same with presentation, major or not (I know, I know… some of you will say: easier said than done and speak for yourself but I am speaking for myself and I am also aware that situations vary from person to person. But remember we’re talking about personal experiences here and I am relating mine, not someone else’s) if one is prepared to the outmost of ones capabilities and one is really convinced that there is nothing more one can do; all I can say is: more than your best you cannot possibly offer. So, be calm get out there, believe in yourself and if something goes wrong, just wing it. Because there will always be a time that something will go wrong, and if you start thinking about it just before the presentation itself, your nerves will be your downfall.
I used to be a part of a theater group before. So, I know what I’m talking about.
Family gatherings are totally different matter. That’s when/where I normally get nervous about (I know for most, it is the opposite; they are family after all) and I need at least three weeks (if not longer) to recuperate afterwards. The reasons why? I don’t know for sure. You know already that I hate noises and crowds, but being in the middle of people who talk next to each other about mundane things which in reality no one is truly interested in but everyone is pretending they are, is too much for me. Why gather when any fool with half sense can clearly see that everyone wishes to be anywhere but there. They can’t even talk straight to each other. Sometimes, animosity is so thick one can cut/slice it with the knife and served it together with hors d’oeuvres. I am nervous attending such events before and after.
For the rest, I’m miss perfectly calm herself. When it comes to preparing for big days that is…
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