i’m confused

I’ve been blogging here for not even a month but I’ve been around in one other site somewhere. I left because it is not the right platform for my writings. After all, it is a dating site which I accidentally stumbled upon following the footprints of my ex.

I was a novice then. Starry eyed and so naïve I made tons of mistakes. I still make them now but less often and less profound. My time there was quite a journey. I learned a lot and the hard way. I picked up and dusted myself every each time without help from anyone. The policy in that kind of site is a lot different (I assume) from here or anywhere similar. You see, for someone who is not on the lookout, reserved and have a different point of view on almost anything, people tend to get suspicious. In short, I was an outcast; a popular outcast but an outcast nonetheless. I might say I enjoy the solitude. I could hammer on my keys undisturbed advancing my learning unhindered.  My years lurking in there taught me a lot.

I left when I feel that there is nothing I could learn from there anymore. Someone suggested that I go here and here I am. I created my blog page in one (I never do half-assed job) go following whatever comes when I click, not knowing this site has a zero to hero guide, I managed somehow.

After putting online my first batch of posts, I decided to browse what they say I have to do to generate some traffic to my page and gain an audience. What I read confused me. They say I have to participate in forums, likes, comments, re-blogs, ask for feedback and so on.  They advise beginners also to understand the statistics so they can connect to their readers from different places and cater to their taste in order to generate more views. Some even mentioned posting on specific time depending where most of the people who is checking you out are based.

I thought people write first and foremost for themselves. That they share their inner thoughts to kindred spirits out there. That they scribble and post when they feel inspired and not to please the majority and the would be followers and readers. I thought if they like what you’re saying and you do it reasonably good enough, sooner or later people will find and read you. You don’t have to advertise to other blogs “please visit my page because I’m lacking of traffic?” nor you have to like or comments to other posts for the sake of building an audience but because you simply truly like the contents. Following blogs in the hope of the owners might follow you back is like cheating. To me, I will only follow someone out of genuine interest or otherwise not. What is the used of following hundreds of blogs when you don’t have the time nor the interest to read them all. I find it quite unfair for the people concerned.

I read too that one has to consider putting comments on blogs that similar to one’s own to encourage people to check your page. I have difficulty digesting that one too. Sounds to me like an encouragement to use others for your own personal gain.

I have encountered so many tips about blogging effectively it make my head spins. I tried to make heads or tails of lots of them to have ideas I could use for my blog but after a while they started to resemble the holy book, a merge of opposing viewpoints so great it becomes very difficult to dissect which one is the best rule to live by that I decided to abandoned the idea of applying them for the time being. Maybe I will try again when I’m feeling courageous.

Sure I want to be read (we all are or otherwise we will not be here) granted I want an audience too. Traffic is nice and comments are welcome as well. But I want to acquire them through my own hard work without losing my aesthetics/esthetic and sacrificing my morals and values. Perhaps I’m naïve. Stupid even. Perhaps my personal view about this matter is somehow clouded. Maybe it will take a long time before I have my own followers. Maybe it may never happen and I will be forever lost in anonymity, damned to dwell in some kind of limbo, I don’t know…

One thing is for sure. I will do it without stepping on someone’s back and losing myself in exchange for applause. My thoughts are out there. I have shared some of my experiences and will keep sharing. I did everything (within my power) to make the reading pleasurable and memorable for whoever might accidentally stumble upon them. More than my best I can’t produce.

For the meantime, I will continue blogging and hoping some might pass by and be grateful when they do.